Seconds Minutes Hours

Seconds Minutes Hours

A Poem by Samantha ~virginpoet

Its like holding my breath
as my lungs collapse
Ill love you
till my
death
rattle

And my heart
ceases to beat
and slowly fades
into the abyss
of he left me

Days pass
like eternity
in an hour


By Samantha Campbell

© 2013 Samantha ~virginpoet


Author's Note

Samantha ~virginpoet
inspired by Steve

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Reviews

That some serious passion and love. I love the feeling of this poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Samantha ~virginpoet

11 Years Ago

much thanks for all your reviews
"I'll love you till my death rattle", is an awesome line. I wish I had written that. I am so jealous I never thought of "death rattle", but I love those words together. I didn't get the word "of", in "into the abyss 'of' he left me". "Of" just doesn't sound right there. Maybe I'm just not getting that part. I would either substitute "where" for "of", or just take the word out altogether. Examples: "into the abyss where he left me", or, "into the abyss he left me". Does that make sense?

Posted 11 Years Ago


Sometime minutes and hours become precious. I like the flow of thoughts and the very good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


"into the abyss of he left me" awesome line!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I'll love you
til my
death
rattle

Love this section, and the idea itself. Such a sorrowful idea, and yet so beautiful at the same time. The last three lines were fantastic as well. You've managed to create something amazingly beautiful within just a few short lines. I envy this ability you have. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Samantha ~virginpoet

11 Years Ago

Much Thanks
I like the brevity - remarkable - nice one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Gracious. Love it. I love the format to as it is precisely made for this piece. Fantastic.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Like a goblet of hemlock.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Wonderful poem. I like how in most of your poems you use only a few words but you still hit it right on the topic and bring out your point and message very clearly. Good job! :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Days pass
like eternity
in an hour

how very true.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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24 Reviews
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Added on May 3, 2013
Last Updated on May 3, 2013

Author

Samantha ~virginpoet
Samantha ~virginpoet

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About
HAD MY BABY BOY 12/29/2013 at 10:57 he weighs 8 pounds 4oz 19 in long I am married to a fellow poet on this site http://www.writerscafe.org/itz_JuggZ aka Stevo The Poe-t I cant sleep without kno.. more..

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