Shadow

Creepy. I was walking to my bus stop in this THICK fog and I kept hearing things. My Silent Hill obsession was going nuts. Hehe.

Shadow

Emptyness;
the shadows whisper.
In darkness, something walks...
stalking, searching,
known only to the dead
and those about to die.
Prowling, lusting
for the doomed.
Do you hear the howl pierce the fog?
Do you hear the footfalls of death?
It walks beside you, unseen.
Would you only turn, you would see.
Determined to pass through, you find yourself lost
there in the domain of shadow and fog,
blood and rust, an eternal wheel.
Trust not the innocent.
Look with fear upon the weak.
Your eyes serve other masters.
Your mind betrays you.
Thus shall you fade,
on the far side of the mirror.
Will you ever know the truth?
This reality is all
a nightmarish dream
and you are its prey.  

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

yes you let your imagination run wild,yes at times like these ,fog ,mist ,darkness,you come to feel things ,but what you say ,some is true,death always walking by,and then you talk about nightmarish dream ,lots said we live in a dream ,this could not be realty,so many said we may not be alive who can say ,we may be living dead walking this is philosophical thinking,its wise and touching ,very nice

[emmajoy]

Although this is certainly creepy because of the great atmosphere you've created with your words and phrases, there's a sort of beauty in it.. again because of phrasing : 'Your eyes serve other masters. / Your mind betrays you. / Thus shall you fade, / on the far side of the mirror.' - that flows like a stream in spite of what you've said.

It's strange how weather, good and bad, can influence the senses.. fog probably most of all.. or mist over the countryside or moving over the sea. You've certainly used your experience.

Thanks lots for sharing.

[[untitled]]

Great poem!
I love the depth in it.
I also love the darkness.
Great job!

Me Being Me,
Morgan P.

[radian7]

This succeeds in setting a very creepy ambiance for lack of a better word. I could imagine this read/narrated as a flash movie/visual short. Well done.

[Ashes of Apathy]

This is lyrically strong. Particulary the ending. The idea of becoming prey to a dream is well conveyed here. I also enjoyed the vivid description such as "the howl that peirces the fog." You have a talent for showing, rather than telling, the reader your purpose. Nice work sir.
-jr

[Morgan Ashire]

You were right. I do like it. I am very picky of the poetry that I read and that is a very well written one. It holds, almost a 18th-19th century, English feel to it, which, being a fan of Poe, I like. It holds a nuance that could be said to either dampen the darkness and the effect of the words, or to enhance the overall emotional response that the reader actually feels. Personally, I think it does a bit of both. Well written in its duality. I have seen many writers try and fail to obtain this effect, whether it be purposeful or not. Over all, I like it.

[Travis Lawrence]

Silent Hill was sweet. It also reminds me of Predator, I think. "I don't know who he is, but I know where he is. The shadowland..." Haha either way, I like the imagery and all. Thanks for the Haiku tip. I re-read them, though, and think most of them represent a "single note" quality, at least in my opinion.

Have a nice day!

[K]

You did a really good job of creating an eerie tone in this poem. It, along with the imagery, adds so much to the almost claustrophobic/psychological meltdown feeling I get when I read it. My favourite lines are,
'Do you hear the footfalls of death?
It walks beside you, unseen.'
So creepy! Nicely done!