Preface
I was lost in my agony. I didn’t know, what must I do, which one was right, which one was wrong. I didn’t know what my purpose of living was. I doubted my own presence, was I really worth living? Nobody even cared for me. I was alone, and would always be.
I was now faced with two choices, and I could only choose one of it. Whichever one I chose, I would lose the other choice. I couldn’t have both, I could only have one. Yet I didn’t know which choice was better for me.
What they said were totally contradictory – one choice would lead me to a good girl, while another would lead me to another path – to be an evil – they said. Humans were always like that, they claimed that they knew what was right or wrong. In their own perspective, they judged people as they pleased. They never tried to see the reasons behind everything. That was the nature of humans, we’re merely mortals.
A tempting perversity – that’s what I would call that. Two choices were given – a good girl or a bad girl. Yet the bad one seemed more attractive to me. And I didn’t believe that the choice was bad, no choice was bad. It’s just the matter of how people viewed them. They could easily tell me to back away from him, to leave him alone in the depth of darkness. They said that’s for the best, since they didn’t want me to fall into the darkness myself.
But what would they do, if they were me? They said it’s for my own sake, that I would thank them in the future for helping me making the choice. All people said those kinds of things. And I was sick of it. Had they ever considered my feelings, my happiness? Those things they’re saying best for me, was not best for me, but it was best for them. How selfish we humans were. I knew more of those dark nature of humans, I’d experienced many of them in my whole life.
I’d made up my mind. I wouldn’t follow their words, I wouldn’t care about them. I knew what’s best for me, not them. And I knew following him was the best thing for me. Although, that meant that I would betray my friends. I needed him, and he needed me. He was the only one who knew about the real me, and the only one who understood me as much. Betrayal – that’s another nature of humans. We, humans, were forgetful creature. Even if I disappeared from their life, even if they searched for me, even if they hated me . . . One day for sure, they would forget about it all.