If...

Poem written to all of my family

So many questions that I don’t really want the answers to but to get closer to me I need to know I can rely on you.

People are ruthless and the world is unforgiving. Most people are left numb existing but not living.

So…

If I died tomorrow would you cry tears of sorrow or would it be out of obligation because of our shared blood given to us at our creation?

Could you honestly say you know the real me? What makes me tick? What makes me breathe? Did you ever want to talk to me just to have a conversation? To get inside my head and feel my aspirations.

Would you run from me if you saw the chaos in my soul? Saw the darkness that threatens to takeover and break my control? I can’t run from the demons of my past so brief moments of joy never do last.

Our future, is it cursed with promises to be broken and bite-mark filled tongues of truths left unspoken?

Could I confide in you to take my secrets to your crypt? And if the truth comes out could I count on that it wasn’t you who let it slip?

Would you be a constant in my life, always there every day not weaving in and out, always walking away?

My scars run deep, though invisible to the naked eye I’m not that strong but I don’t cry.

Could you kill me, if my pain was too much to bare? What if I was dying either way would you leave me there?

What I want to know is… If I were to need you…