Chapter 21

 

 

        She didn't know what happened.

         

          It was as if, for a moment, a really long moment, she suddenly didn’t care anymore.

 

          I didn’t even know him.

         

Lizzy sighed as she placed her head against the cold, uninviting desk.

 

          Well, she knew one thing. She definitely cared now.

         

Lizzy had endured the awkward car ride over to Birchwood with Braden and Jerry. That was an ordeal, even in itself.  And for the past two days, Lizzy had done an excellent job of avoiding Braden, even more so than she had in the previous weeks, in which he decided to avoid her. She knew her feelings for him had never gone away; she was just angry. Rejected. Careless. Stupid.

 And now that those feelings were established, she couldn’t help but wonder how much worse things were going to get once she actually had class with him. Having to look at him, acknowledge him…knowing that he…didn’t know.

Lizzy tapped her foot impatiently. Of course, it was the first period of the day, and it was long before the first bell rung, but Anna was usually there by then.

Lizzy looked around…there was no one else in the Spanish room. Not even Mrs. Huerta.

Maybe she was a bit early after all.

 

Lizzy waited a bit longer. Of course she hadn’t talked to Alejandro since their little rendezvous in his brother’s apartment. She didn’t even know if she would ever talk to him at all. If she did, she would say that what happened was a huge mistake and that it should never be spoken of again. And that would be that.

Sadly things weren’t that simple. Alejandro wasn’t just random dude. He was Braden’s best friend. And things like this usually didn’t stay a secret for long, even with guys.

“Lizzy?”

Lizzy’s attention darted to the voice, as she attempted to make her face look alert. She looked toward the person, leaping out of her deep thought. Thankfully, it was Anna.

“Hey!” Lizzy said, brightening her eyes. She looked right, then left, and pulled Anna down in seat across from her.

Anna’s eyebrows crinkled as she giggled, confused. “Okay,” she said. “What’s going on?” As she scooted her desk closer to Lizzy’s.

 More people filtered into the room. Lizzy sighed, discontented. “You’re going to kill me.” She said.

Anna’s eyes widened into a circular shape. “Lizzy?” She asked, anxious.

Lizzy looked side to side once more before continuing. “Okay. So…two nights ago, I was working. You know, at The Shake. And my schedule was a little off so I had a lot of time to just wander around, so I got a latte at that one coffee bar. Next thing I knew, Alejandro, you know, Braden’s friend? Well, he was behind me and we started talking and--”

The bell rung, startling them both into alarm. “It’s just the first bell.” Anna said, relieved. She half-smiled in anticipation. “Keep going.”

Lizzy continued quickly, condensing every detail possible"which was not difficult to do, considering not that much happened. But it was a big deal. A huge one.

By the time Lizzy was finished telling the whole, terrible story, the second bell had rung, and the class quieted down. Mrs. Huerta sauntered in, as the morning announcements started.

Anna quietly moved her desk back into its normal position. She furrowed her brow. “How could you do that? And Vasquez?” She furiously whispered, almost inaudibly.

Lizzy shook her head shamefully.

Anna’s expression softened, looking at the chalkboard. She then looked back at Lizzy, whispering again. “What are you going to do?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” Lizzy whispered helplessly. “Nothing is coming to me.”

Anna pressed her lips together, thinking. “You’re going to have to tell him eventu"”

She was cut off by the sound of Mrs. Huerta’s rapid, accented voice. “Please quiet down, everyone,” She said. The announcements had just ended.

From then she began teaching. Most of the students were paying attention. A few looked off, in a daze. But Lizzy and Anna continued to exchange worried looks.

By the time the bell sounded, Lizzy’s head was still empty with fretfulness. Class was over, and she still had no idea what to do.

Anna read her expression perfectly. “Oh, gosh, and he’s in your next class, too.” She rose up, collecting her books, now just as nervous as Lizzy.

Lizzy groaned. “I know.” She said, picking up her own things.  “I seriously have no clue about any of this.”

Anna frowned, her lip pouting. Lizzy did the same. And with that, they left the Spanish room and walked out into the hallway, to Mr. Libby’s classroom.

“English, right?” Anna asked.

Lizzy nodded dejectedly.

She pulled Lizzy in for a hug. “Just don’t ignore him this time. Act normal, and maybe letting him know won’t be so bad.” She suggested, pulling back.

Lizzy nodded. “Okay.” She said feebly. Her expression then strengthened to a more determined one. “Here goes.”

Anna smiled reassuringly. “Good luck!” She said quietly, waving as she walked to her next class.

 

Lizzy walked in the half-filled classroom, not seeing Braden anywhere. That was no surprise. He was usually one of the last ones in.

Lizzy took a seat, sliding into her chair. She barely had time to fret because within a few moments, Mr. Libby appeared at the side of her desk.

“Ms. Hunt!” He said, in his exuberantly British accent. He energetically placed a paper on her desk. “Would you mind taking a trip down to the office and making 30 copies of this little zinger? It slipped my mind this morning.”

Lizzy nodded. “Yeah! Of course,” She took the piece of paper and got up from her seat. “I’ll be right back.”

Mr. Libby nodded accordingly. “Thank you, Ms. Hunt.”

Lizzy smiled, acknowledging his gratitude. She walked out the door, somehow relieved that she was out of that classroom. Slowing her pace, she realized that at some point, she would have to walk back in…that would cause a slight curve of attention to herself. Including from Braden.  

Lizzy wasn’t sure she could take that.

Oh well, she thought. Too late now.

Lizzy paced down the stairwell, slowly rounding each corner. She looked down at the oyster-colored staircase, trying not to worry.

But any particle of ease she had left disappeared when she looked back up. She halted right in mid-step.

She had almost ran into Braden, who was making his way up the stairs in the opposite direction.

“B-Braden!” Lizzy couldn’t help but shout. Aside from the fact that they almost completely collided, she was literally face to face with what she had been agonizing about all day.

“Um, hey,” Braden said, taking a step back. He looked away, scratching the back of his head.

Lizzy inhaled sharply, panicking.

Braden then continued walking up the stairs, slowly. “Well, uh, the bell’s about to ring…so…” He trailed off.

“Yeah, I mean,” Lizzy sighed. “Yeah.” She fabricated a bright smile.

Braden nodded, His gaze lingered for a little, but not for long. Before Lizzy knew it, he was walking quickly up the stairs and moving out of sight.

Well. Lizzy thought. That sucked.

She kept moving; noticing the sheet of paper had crumpled slightly in her hand. But that was microscopic in comparison to what had just taken place.

 Lizzy took a turn into the east hall, passing numerous classrooms as she got closer to the office.

At least she didn’t have to worry about awkwardly entering the classroom anymore. Lizzy could look at Braden with reason, not just out of the blue. She could look at him, and somehow express that, even after the not-known-about kiss with Alejandro, she was still interested.

Even if he wasn’t.

 

Lizzy made her way into the office, and asked the secretary for multiples of the sheet of paper. In what seemed was almost no time, 30 copies were given back to Lizzy and she was on her out, back up to the English room.

 She jumped up the stairs, moving faster than she had come down. For some reason, she felt eager to get back to Mr. Libby’s room, and see Braden. Maybe after talking to her, even just that little bit, he would realize that she still wanted him. And that he felt the same way.

Lizzy approached Mr. Libby’s room, coming upon the closed door. She did not hear any noise; just her teacher’s voice conversing with the class.

She slowly opened the door, then quickly hopped back in, shutting the door.

“"and truly, you can see from the paragraph on page 131, that, even though such a feeling was brought up…” Mr. Libby saw Lizzy come back in. Walking over to her, he accepted the copies. “Ah, thank you,” he said kindly.

Lizzy nodded, and then walked to her seat at a normal pace. She kept her head down the whole time, and then suddenly dashed her eyes back up at Braden as she sat down.

To her surprise he was looking right back.

She smiled cautiously, and then looked away. Slightly satisfied, Lizzy kept her grin throughout the class period as a chapter of the novel; “Of Mice and Men” was discussed.

Time passed rapidly, making English class fly by extremely fast. Before she knew it, the first four periods of the day were over with and it was time for lunch.

Lizzy made her way to the secondary’s library, where she and Anna usually had lunch. During the winter, most people ate in the canteen, but for some reason, the library always seemed more appealing.

She carried her tidily packed lunch in her usual, vibrantly-colored bag. She smiled. Although there was nothing really to tell Anna, Lizzy knew that nothing bad really happened either. That was a plus.

Or so it seemed.

Lizzy approached the library, almost passing the old front office…it was usually closed, but the school had been remodeling it for weeks as a new, but small, class room. She was about to make a turn when a hand reached out and grasped her shoulder.

“Wh--” Lizzy started loudly as she was chaotically pulled into the dim old office.

“Shhh! It’s okay. It’s just me.” A voice said.

          Lizzy’s surprised feelings of being dragged into the office vanished as quickly as they came.  Nervous shivers replaced them.

          It was Braden.

          Lizzy’s shot open in response. And something told her to just begin asking questions. “What are you--?”

          Braden showed his usual beaming smile. “Lizzy, I just…” He trailed off, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. “I wanted to say sorry for the way I’ve been treating you. Honestly, I really couldn’t stand ignoring you anymore…” He darted his eyes around uncomfortably, then looked at her directly. “I want to begin being friends with you, and…kissing you was wrong and I knew it, because you’re going to be gone in less than six months…” He emitted a slightly pained sigh. “What I want to say is I really like you, and I value our friendship loads more than I thought I did because…” He paused again. “I have never missed you more than I have in the past two weeks.” His teeth gleamed as he began to smile.

          What? Lizzy thought frantically. No, no. no. You’re not supposed to apologize! She fretted nervously to herself. All that he had done with Alejandro…Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. What was she supposed to do now? Ugh. Lizzy sighed. At the same time, she felt a little…rejected. Friends? No, no, no. That didn’t sound right.

          Even so, she smiled back. “Thanks. I guess I did my share in ignoring you, too, though,” Lizzy replied.

          Braden chuckled. “Well I’m the one at fault here.” He said modestly. He then pulled her in for a hug. “I’m really sorry. It was being a complete git. I just should have talked to you about it.”

          Lizzy felt a monstrously large lump form in her throat. Just stop. She thought. He was making her feel worse/better by the second. It was the nastiest feeling.

          He pulled away slowly, seemingly savoring the embrace. “But, Lizzy, I think it’d probably be best if we…” He stepped back a little. “Be friends. I know that when you leave, everything is going to be gone. And I don’t want to make this difficult. Do you understand?” He asked kindly, slightly tilting his head, like an adorable puppy.

          Lizzy felt genuinely sick. He was apologizing to her, and yet she felt he shouldn’t have been apologizing at all. In her book, they were already even, considering what she had done with his best friend.  Simultaneously, he just wanted to be...just friends. Lizzy thought she might fall over like a chopped tree. It was too much. The guilt. The denial. His stupidly adorable face peering back at her as bunches of frenzied thoughts rushed around in her brain.  Ugh.

          Braden saw the bit of worried panic slip through her plated expression. His eyes slanted in concern. “Lizzy, are you okay?” He asked.

          She paused. If she said nothing, she was screwed. If she said no, she was still screwed, because that would involve spilling out EVERYTHING right there and then…Lizzy wasn’t prepared for that. If she said yes…well, that would be lying. And she already had done enough of that.

          Even so, she still had to answer. She looked up at him, trying to generate the biggest smile possible. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She said. “I really agree with you. Fr…” Lizzy trailed off. She couldn’t even say the word. “Friends. Yeah. Definitely.” She said throatily.

          What was another lie?

          Braden grinned, relieved. “Brilliant.” He said. “Again, I’m really sorry about blowing you off like tha--”

          Lizzy cut him off as fast as she could. “Please don’t worry about it. I understand.” She said, meaning every word of it.

          A look of extreme gratitude passed over Braden’s face. “You’re awesome,” He said.

          Lizzy wasn’t so sure of that.

          “Thanks,” She said. “You are too…” Lizzy paused. “You know, in a friend way.” She said, correcting herself. Although, it didn’t feel correct. It felt weird. And horrible. And…too many other things that made her want to cry.

          Braden nodded, agreeing. “Right.” He replied, “Exactly.” He said smiling, although his eyes seemed to grimace with every syllable.

          Lizzy smiled back, in the same manner. Everything was off, everything. Yet they continued to say “right” aloud, like the words would somehow convince them of it.

          Braden stirred in sudden movement. “Well, we better get out of here, right?” He suggested, moving toward the door.

          Lizzy shook out of her contemplative state. “Uh, yeah, yeah, you know, lunch is important…” She said, feeling stupid. And other things.

          Braden smiled. “See you in art then?” He said as he stepped into the hallway.

          “Mhmm!” Lizzy nodded, trying to keep her tears held in her throat.

          “Have a nice lunch,” Braden said kindly, almost desperately. He began to walk in the opposite direction.

          Lizzy nodded once again. He then was turned around, walking away from her. And for some reason, she felt like he was walking away from her in two senses. And that felt worse than anything she had ever felt.

          She took a deep, deep breath in. Finally a tear came rolling down her cheek. She watched it as it streamed down to her neck, and slowly disappeared as it absorbed in her shirt cloth.

          She had lost him. And she couldn’t even beg for him back; even if she was that desperate… which she was.

Lizzy couldn’t even look at him knowing that she had kissed Alejandro, his best friend. Knowing that Braden took the time to apologize…because he missed her. Not kissing her; her. And somehow that brought on more guilt than she felt even the worst of people could bear.

Lizzy was beyond frustrated.

She honestly didn’t know how she could do this to herself, to Braden.  

          So she just did the only thing she felt she could do…

          Lizzy turned her heel, and walked away too, which felt better than anything she had done all day.

 

          But even that felt horrible.  

Author's Note

Eh?

Reviews

[Short.Nerd]

Her and Alejandro are gonna get together then Braden will get jealouse right? :D Or maybe Tim, but that might be a long shot xD lol. Excellent chapter!

[compositionc]

WHAT?
WHAT?
JUST WHAT?
HOW...WHAT...WHY????

How could he do that? I thought he and Lizzy were ogether 4ever! Oh, I hope she and Ale get together then. Because Lizzy deserves SOMEONE,