Chapter 20

 

          Like most mornings, Bridget and Sophie made their way down to the bus stop at the end of the street. The heavy, almost solid snow encased their shoes as they trudged through the early January blizzard. And like most mornings, Sophie was incessantly complaining about something.

          “I am so not ready to go back to school. Can’t there be more of winter break?” Sophie pouted, squinting her eyes against the powerful, snow-filled wind.  “I hate the first day back. So much.”

          Bridget nodded, acknowledging Sophie’s grumble. Usually she would say something comforting, and maybe add some sensible input, but no. Not this morning…definitely not this morning.

          Sure, it was the first day back, and sure, the routine of the day was going to be the same as any other. But unlike any other day, Bridget’s insides felt like they were being attacked with razor-edged nerves. Her head pounded like a wind-up toy smacking against a wall. One, single thing was on her mind and yet, somehow, it seemed to consume her entirely.

 In short, she was a mess.

And it was all because of Dane.

Dane. She thought. Something about his name made her light up. No. She thought. Something about him made her light up. But thinking about what had happened�"how she had just…walked away�"replaced that glow with a raging discomfort.

A brigade of memories charged through her brain. The restaurant. Bridget thought to herself.

She remembered scooting her way through everyone at the booth, feeling like every pair of eyes knew what had just happened. Rubbish. She recalled thinking to herself. How could they possibly know?   

But that wasn’t even the worst part. She remembered sitting down. Seeing Dane across from her, his face still slightly flushed from the cold. He was looking down, and definitely away. She remembered, because every minute she spent guessing what he was thinking, and why on earth had she walked away, well, that minute seemed like an eternity.

She remembered everyone leaving. Slowly getting up from the table. Nodding nonchalantly at Della and Charlotte’s animated exclamations. She thought she had lost him, just by walking away. But I kept his drawing. Bridget recollected. And she did. It had been under the seat, where she had put it, and she planned on keeping it…forever. She remembered his eyes flickered her way as she slid it carefully into her satchel. She remembered his face; it was the last time she had really looked at him. It was complex.

The smallest bit of longing; microscopic even, but shrouded in hidden morose that even seemed shielded by his typical solemn expression.

But it was a hope for her. And that’s all she needed to keep going. Even if she never heard from Dane again.

 

Bridget and Sophie approached the stop. She didn’t notice, but Sophie was still droning on about the start of school. Feeling guilty, Bridget decided to interject.

“I suppose I agree with you, but…you know, school goes by mad quick once the second semester starts. And that’s only in two weeks, right?” Bridget said, hoping Sophie would understand.

“Yeah,” Sophie said. Then she looked up at Bridget. “You know, I always have you to give me the bright side on things. Liz just kind of complained along with me,” Sophie said, as the bus came slowly rolling into view.

Bridget cracked a smile. At least she had someone thinking she had it all together. “Thanks, Soph,” Bridget said.

They both climbed onto the bus. Bridget sat in her usual seat, which was luckily right next to the large heater.

A blast of warmth seemed to thaw her boot-covered feet. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath in.

For the entirety of winter break, she had only seen Della and Charlotte once, let alone Henry or any other of the ICGS members. And for the entirety of that visit with her two best friends, she hadn’t even brought up Dane once. She just didn’t know how to. What was she supposed to say? “Hey Char, hey Dell…so you know Dane? Yeah. Of course you do. It’s not like you bug me about it 24/7. Yeah, well, looks like I was wrong. I am mad about him. And yeah…we sort of made out in the parking lot after the competition. No big deal.”

Bridget laughed to herself. As if. She thought. Even if she did say that, she wasn’t sure she’d add the fact that she kind of just left him standing there. Alone. All because she felt flustered and incredulous and stunned and confused and…the list went on.

And Henry. Could she even tell him? She felt he had seen her in her worst state. He was reliable. He would understand.

Right?

Bridget couldn’t think about it any longer. Somehow she was going to get through the day. Even if it meant enduring eating lunch with every one in ICGS…which would inevitably bring on awkwardness.                      

          A whole new wave of anxiety swept over Bridget.

          What was she going to do? She would definitely see Dane. Of course. And he would give her that complicated, impossible stare like he always did. And she would just accept it. And she would just have to pretend that what happened…never happened. And that would be the end of it.

          Bridget sighed with semi-relief. That’s what she would do. Yeah, she thought. Brilliant.          

          Kind of.

 

                                      ~

          The last period before lunch moved outrageously slow. Bridget found herself checking the clock almost twice a minute. And the worst part was, it was study hall. As if she needed to waste more time thinking about worrying, and worrying about thinking and slipping up and accidentally spurting something out.

There were so many things that could go wrong. And the only way to ignore it was to get distracted. That wasn’t going to happen. Especially not in study hall.

          Bridget put her head down on the cafeteria table. She had seen Henry in Pre-calc, like always, and had managed to act completely normal. She had waved to a few of the other members, including Della and Charlotte. But she still felt on edge. The worst was still yet to come.

She sighed heavily. She looked at the clock.

          Seven minutes.

          Pressing her lips together, Bridget got up out of the bench and asked to go to the restroom. The last thing she wanted to do was wait around for everyone in the cafeteria, so she figured she would arrive late to lunch, that way everyone would already be far into eating and having conversation.

          Bridget walked briskly into the large bathroom. She made her way around numerous girls primping and re-doing make up, hoping to at least see her reflection before going to lunch. Usually she didn’t care too much about her appearance…she was always very secure in that area. But when Bridget got nervous�"especially to this degree�"she was uncertain about everything. 

          She moved closer to the mirror. A recognizable cackle and loyal explosions of laughter that followed afterward seemed familiar.

          Fantastic. Bridget thought to herself.

          “�"and so,” the snotty brunette known as Olivia started to say to her gaggle, “I guess I really just don’t want the drama…” She emitted a poisonous sneer. “But, you know, she deserves it! Especially after what she said to me at Caleb’s party. She’s such a …” She looked back, an offended expression spread across her face. Her friends did the same.

          Her expression changed to an artificial smirk. “Bridget,” She said in a faux-excited voice, arching her dark eyebrows. “So. How’s your little club?”

          Some of the other girls giggled in response.

          Bridget had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. This girl was just exuding insincerity.  

          “Brilliant, actually. We won our competition.” She took this time to glance over at the mirror. Her fishtail braid had managed to somehow unweave itself.

          Olivia nodded, pursing her lips. “Congratulations,” She said in a false, high-pitched voice. “I’m sure you and your little boyfriend Henry are just SO excited.”

          Bridget blushed. She didn’t care about her braid anymore. “Yeah, it is exciting, isn’t it?” She said sharply. “And, uh, since when did being friends with someone automatically make them your boyfriend?”

          The confident gleam in Olivia’s eyes flickered. But then a complacent smirk curled into her lips. “Oh, I’m sorry; sometimes it’s so hard to tell the difference between you and that geeky ginger…Caroline, is it?” Olivia fired back, pretending not to know the name.

          “It’s Charlotte.” Bridget said flatly. “And it’s funny how you think pretending to not know someone’s name makes you seem clever…but in actuality, it does quite the opposite.”

          A few of the girls surrounding Olivia widened their eyes in surprise.

          Olivia’s eyes turned to viscous slits. “You’re really funny Bridget.” She said haughtily, with a fake smile.  “But um,” She pretended to ponder her next thought. “You’re the one who cares about being smart, remember?” Olivia said smugly. 

          Bridget scoffed. “Oh, so you are calling yourself a right smarmy twit?”

          Olivia laughed opprobriously. “What was that you called me? A ‘right smarmy twit’?” She looked at her friends, laughing. They did the same. She laughed again before continuing. “Excuse me,” She said in a mockingly proper British accent. “Cahn I please hahve some cruhm-pets with this tea, or am I too much of a snitty bambi cake?” She said, derisively, her friends laughing loudly in response.          Bridget’s face turned bright pink. She couldn’t think of anything to say. Tears started to pool up in her eyes.

          Olivia noticed. “Oh, I’m sorry; I guess that was a little too mean…” She snickered again. “Ehem.” She cleared her throat, starting up with a fake accent. “Cahm on, lassies, pip-pip! Before the little doddy-kin starts to cry!” 

          All of the girls began to snigger hysterically in amusement.

          Bridget was trapped. Feeling a tear roll down her face, she knew had no choice but to walk away.

          “Awwwww,” Olivia said with fake concern. “The poor little thing is crying!”

          Bridget didn’t look back. She walked out of the bathroom as fast as she could. She covered her face as she paced down the hallway, not wanting anyone to see her crying.

          Bridget took a sharp turn down an empty hallway. Spotting a bench, she sat down and put her head in her hands. She sobbed quietly, hoping no one would hear.

          For several minutes, no one passed through. Everyone seemed to be in their classes, or at lunch. Bridget was thankful for that.

          She looked at her reflection in the display case across from the bench. Her eyes were swollen, and her face still a washed out shade of pink. Corking. She thought to herself cynically.

          Bridget sat alone, waiting until her face returned to a relatively normal state. Well, at least this means I don’t have to worry about lunch. She thought.  Thanks, Olivia. She laughed in semi-appreciation that may or may have not been genuine.

          Bridget peered at her reflection once more before getting up. She was sure she looked at least decent. Definitely not her best, but all right.              She rose from the wooden bench, closing her eyes and exhaling deeply. Calmed, she opened them and began walking steadily back down the hall.

          But to her dismay, someone was walking toward her.

          It was a short hall, so she knew immediately who is was.

Bridget felt a glow illuminate her body. It was a sweet feeling…Unfortunately; it only lasted for a moment, and was followed by immediate pang of nerves that swept through her. She felt a huge, metaphorical block in her airway.

Utterly incapable to take another step, she stopped where she was.

          It’s okay. She told herself. Just act natural. Casual. You’ll be fine.

          She then realized standing there like a kitten caught off-guard did not help her cause.

          Before she knew it, her feet were moving. That’s right. Just go.

          But it wasn’t that easy. Tormenting shivers began to snake their way down her arms. She couldn’t turn back now.

          Bridget wondered what was going through his head. Anger? Regret? Frustration?     

 

…Indifference?

         

It was impossible to know, considering she had no clue of her own emotional state.

But Bridget said his name anyway.

“Dane!”

Just speaking made her dizzy.

          Before she knew it, they were less than twelve inches from each other.

          Bridget’s first impulse was to pull him in, and kiss him with every ounce of passion that had built up inside of her ever since they kissed.

          But she didn’t.

          Bridget had to think logically.

          So she did.

          “Look…” She said, trying to sound sincere without coming off as forceful. “At the restaurant…I…wasn’t sure about what was going on. I didn’t have to walk away. But I did. And…” Bridget struggled, trying to find words. “I shouldn’t have.”

As she spoke the last syllable, Bridget recognized the complicated, yet almost affectionate half-smile that met Dane’s face. A familiar flicker entered his green eyes, giving her the smallest amount of reassurance.

But it was something.

Suddenly, the loudly resounding, brash bell signaled into the halls, and like clockwork, students came flooding out of the doors that lined the hall surrounding Dane and Bridget.  

          In that fraction of a millisecond, Bridget’s eyes widened in alarm. But the shock immediately vanished as Dane gave her a sliver of a comforting look.

          He casually walked past her, but purposefully brushed his arm slowly on hers. He swiftly looked back one last time.  

          Shivers sped down Bridget’s arms faster than a bolt of lightning.  She stood stationary in the middle of the hall, a sea of other people moving about.

          Bridget finally pulled together the ability to move.

But it didn’t really feel like moving. It didn’t feel like moving at all.

Like most things she felt for Dane, it was something totally unidentifiable.

But for some reason, this time…that was completely fine with her.

She had only wished the moment had lasted a little longer, because the next step she took was a stumble into a surefire, hit or miss, truth-revealing moment with two of her best friends there at Concord.

“BRIDGET!” Charlotte and Della said almost simultaneously as they jumped her, wrapping her into a hug.

          Bridget panicked, but pasted a smile on her face as soon as they pulled away.

          “We haven’t seen you since…” Della said, talking loudly. “Before Christmas!”  Her large doe eyes widened as she emphasized. 

          Charlotte nodded, agreeing. “I kept texting you to hang out, but, it’s okay, the Hunts must have kept you busy!” She said, smiling.

          Bridget felt an instant prickle of guilt. The truth was that she felt too conflicted about Dane to even be around anyone. She’d spend her time thinking about Dane. Nothing else.

“Yeah,” She said,. “Loads of stuff, you know…always real busy.” She said, knowing every bit of it was a lie.

“It’s okay,” said Della. “We just missed you!”  Her tiny arms squeezed Bridget again.

“I missed you guys a lot, too,” Bridget said sincerely. “So how was lunch?” She asked, desperately trying to change the subject. This guilt was killing her.

“Pretty normal.” Charlotte replied. “Mostly everyone’s all about Greece…but that’s expected. I can’t wait!!”

Bridget smiled in relief. The subject was changed. Now all she had to figure out if they had seen her with Dane.

          Della beamed. “I’m seriously so pumped.” She looked over at Bridget expectantly. But then her brow furrowed, looking at Charlotte.

“Wait, where were you during lunch?” Charlotte said, arching an eyebrow.

          Great. Bridget thought inwardly. She had set herself up for that one.

          “Um,” She stumbled, trying to think of an answer.

Della gasped excitedly. “Hey! Dane wasn’t there either!” She slapped Bridget on the arm. “You were with Mr. Mysteriii-ouusss!” She said in a sing-songy voice.

Charlotte snickered, shaking her head. “Dell, I don’t think Dane is here today. I haven’t really seen him.”  She laughed at Della’s assumption.

Della’s excited look faded. “Oh,” She said, sounding disappointed. “Well, yeah, neither have I.” She looked at Bridget, a jovial look appearing on her face. “So if you weren’t with our good ol’ fancy artiste, what were you doing?”

Bridget was consoled.

They hadn’t seen her with Dane.

But she still didn’t know why she wanted to keep what was going on with him from Della and Charlotte. She just couldn’t bring herself to say it.

 “I was…” She brightened up her face. “In the bathroom. I guess I spent so much time redoing my braid that I, uh, lost track of time. Hah, weird, right?” She laughed at herself.

          Della giggled. “No offense, but it still kinda looks crappy.” She smiled. “It’s okay though. Bad hair days suck.”

          Bridget laughed.

          Charlotte looked at the clock. “Oh my gosh! Guys…we only have three minutes before class starts!”  She warned them, as she began walking down the hallway.

          Della laughed as she followed, Bridget behind her. “Calm down, Char, it’s the first day back…” She laughed as they paced quickly down the hall.

          Charlotte scoffed lightly. “Just because you have study hall right after lunch.” She got to her locker, spinning the dial rapidly. “I have AP Chem, Dell!” She scooped out her books. “Can’t be late, see you guys later!” She began to walk briskly up the stairs to the Chemistry room.

          Della laughed. “Char and her AP classes…” She said, she and Bridget meandered down the semi-filled hall.

          Bridget nodded, smiling. “Yeah,” she commented.

          Della suddenly stopped walking. She cocked her head, putting her hands on her hips. “You sure you’re okay?”

          Bridget didn’t want to lie. But doing so seemed inevitable.

           “Yes, just…it’s been a weird day,” Bridget said. Half true. At least it wasn’t completely fabricated.

          Della gave an unsatisfied smirk. “O-kay,” she said. “You know me and Char are always here, so,” She smiled comfortingly at Bridget.

          “Thanks, Dell,” Bridget said. “I’ll see you later, then?” She looked to her next classroom.

          “Yup!” Della said, in a sprightly manner. “You’re day’s going to get better! I promise!”

Bridget smiled as she walked inside the psych room, which was yet another class she barely knew anyone in. She sat down in her usual seat, two from the front and the fourth row in.

The day was only half way over, yet it seemed like a month’s worth of drama had squeezed itself into a few hours.

Let’s see here, Bridget thought. Got in a row with some snotty priss…avoided my friends…ran into my friends…lied to them, lied to them again…Bridget sighed. At least Della and Charlotte were still there for her; she knew she would have to tell them eventually. Somehow that made things easier to handle. She closed her eyes, taking a calm breath in.

 An image of Dane’s almost startling green eyes flickering to her ran through her head. She opened them back up.

Things were going to get better.

Even though she still felt like a raging mess, she figured out of all of the things that could go wrong, everything with Dane went considerably well, even though she was the only one who spoke.

She folded her arms down on her desk, her head resting on the spot Dane had brushed by. Somehow it placed all the comfort in the world over Bridget.

          The second bell reverberated loudly throughout the hall, swallowing her temporarily pacified mood.

          If only Bridget had told Della and Charlotte the truth, she would have felt 100% better. But it was too late…

          For the time being. 

Reviews

[Short.Nerd]

Oh... tsk tsk... such a shame to them being so mean. Hopefully karma will get them back >:D

[compositionc]

OMG
WHAT A B***H
'cuse the language
I HATE THEM
can someone like kill them? Or can they all be jelly of her awesomness?

Dane and Bridget! Foreverrr!