left to the pages

for some people fear is stronger than love.

 

I didn’t take a single picture because there is nothing I needed to remember

 

No memory of getting wasted

                   Getting high

No memory of getting fucked

                   Wanting to die

No memory of playing games

                   Long sigh

No memory of who was right or wrong

                   It not being worth a try

No memory of all the tears

                   I did not expect to cry

No memory of the emptiness

                   Off I go to fly

 

It was the first time you and I tasted

And now we ended up in the muck

Looking to appoint some blame 

Desperately trying to lessen the pain

When all we had was a song,

or rather many

Throughout the years

You and I filled with plentifulness

 

Left to the pages now

Just left

 

2.20.08

 

 

Author's Note

i don't usually rhyme. but i was emotional and this is just what came out. let me know if it sucks.

Reviews

[Tim McGovern]

It doesn't suck.
I like the ending especially, the last two lines.
When something is very emotional it's important to get the feelings down, wait a while, and then go back when you've detached a little and rework the words into something that avoids clich�' and truly captures how you felt.
A lot of potential here.
Good luck

[THERISA]

Danielle, your poetry doesn't suck. It flows and captures the reader's attention with its emotional intensity. I know how strong fear can rule one's live. Especially, coming out to love ones and friends, who view you as someone else. Wish that people didn't have to experience, such pain and rejection in their lives. Thank you for sharing this emotional poem with us.

Therisa

[RADHICA]

THIS IS REALLY GOOD...YOU DID RHYME ALOT BUT IT WAS REally good..i liked it alot good job

[Imperfection]

No, it doesn't suck. In fact, it's great.

Very powerful beginning. Sometimes, even though we don't take pictures we can't stop certain incidents from making a deep mark in our memory. Seems like that's what has happened here.

Looking to appoint some blame

Desperately trying to lessen the pain

Sometimes, we try this strategy but I know that it doesn't work. It only makes it worse and more bitter.

Nice write.

[mattavelli]

I like it.
It seems a wild relationship has ended, or something.
The writing is great, it flows.
Have fun.

[Mark Pearce]

"Long sigh" seems a bit contrived since it's an observational and seemingly stuck in there for the purpose of rhyme.

"Off I go to fly" is structured a bit funny.

A great opening line. The last line haunts too.

A little work yet, but it's a worthy piece.

[Wolfwind Words]

Not a chance! This was great! It spelt out the life of a young teenager going through the ups and downs of school and the emotions that tie. It was laid out very well and the rhyming made it flow like a perfect walk down memory lane!
This was really cool!