Doubt In My Mind: Chapter One

A/N: This was something that has existed for about as long as ff.net can keep documents.

I know it's bad to upload old things that currently exist instead of new things, however I'm making it up (hopefully) by releasing the entirety of this fic here.

I'm also wanting to separate my two accounts, but still upload the same works to each, and have anyone curious directed to this site rather than the other.

I hope you'll forgive me, and if you haven't read this yet, enjoy.

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Ruby Rose was not okay.

Her mind was a storm of anger and hatred.

Everything had been taken away from her. Her mother had died, her father was far away back at home in Patch, one of her best friends had just been killed by another, and her sister had been taken into custody for assault.

How did she not know Cinder had been up to something? It was so obvious, she thought. Everything that her, Emerald, and Mercury did was suspicious, yet she was too oblivious to ever notice it.

She couldn't take it anymore.

Changing her sleep positions did nothing. Everything Yang tried to get her to sleep when they were kids was useless. After hours of trying to sleep, she leapt off her bed. She had to get this anger out of her.

She did the only thing she could think of in a blind fit of rage and drove her fist into the walls of the team's dorm. It had hurt, but it felt a bit better after flushing some of the anger out of her system.

Ruby wasn't one to "punch out" her feelings. She always thought Yang would be the one to do that, but there she found herself, sending punch after punch against the wall of her team's dormitory.

And then she realized something. This dorm was occupied by her entire team, and their leader was destroying it. Ruby was better than this. What would her parents say to this? What would Yang say? This stupid tournament practically drove her team apart, and here she was, only separating them further. She stopped and looked at the two empty beds on the other side of the dorm. Blake's had been empty for a few hours, after she left with Sun and Neptune, who were hoping to cheer her up after the events of Yang's singles match. Yang's bed, however, had been empty the entire time since the match. The blonde had been taken away from her team after everyone had seen her break the leg of her now helpless tournament opponent.

Half of her team was gone, and the one in charge had no idea what to do. Why was she even the leader of her team? She was young and immature, she didn't pay attention in class, and never thought she was the strongest in combat. Ruby didn't deserve to be the leader of her team, maybe what Weiss said at the beginning of the year was true. She wasn't as good as her mother, her faults were too large. She didn't have a cool or useful semblance like her teammates, and she couldn't even fight without her trusty sweetheart, Crescent Rose. Too many times she had been disarmed and was forced to run. At least the others could fight disarmed. Weiss could use her glyphs, Blake had her shadow clone semblance, allowing her to use dust to counter attack with clones, and Yang became more of a powerhouse the more damage she took. But what could Ruby do? All she could do was run. Even with what Blake said about her only running away and leaving behind a clone, she could at least use that clone to confuse her enemy and fight back. Tears rolled down Ruby's face and she threw another punch towards the wall. She barely even dented it.

She wasn't even capable of fighting without her weapon, she couldn't even punch with force.

Even without the ability to shoot bullets from Ember Celica, Yang was still much stronger than Ruby, physically and emotionally. Yang would blast a hole through the wall without effort if she was in the same position, but she'd never find herself in that position. Ruby had never seen her older sister cry. Sure, she had been mad a few times, but she always dealt with it well. Ruby couldn't do that. She let her stupid problems take control of her emotions. Yang never beat herself up over the death of Summer Rose, she was always there for Ruby, helping the younger sister pull through.

The more she thought, the more of an absolute mess of emotions she became. Her mother was the leader of her combat team back when they used to take missions. Team STRQ was one to be feared, her Uncle Qrow had always told her great stories of his teammate's adventures.

But that's all they were now. Stories. Team STRQ was gone, their leader was dead, and one of their members had left and never came back.

But Yang's mother wasn't dead. She knew Raven Branwen was still alive. Yang hadn't lost everything. She still had her family, she still had lots of friends. The biggest problem she had was a big misunderstanding over some stupid kid's broken bone.

"It's not fair!" Ruby yelled, punching again, more and more tears forming, flowing down her face. She sniffled, before grabbing her cape and wiping her tears away, just like she would when she was younger. She told herself she wouldn't cry years ago, and especially after transferring from Signal Academy to Beacon. But here she was. Stupid, young, fifteen-year-old Ruby Rose, crying into the cape from her mother.

"Ruby, what's wrong?"

Ruby looked up to see her partner, dressed in a familiar nightgown, wrapping her arms around the girl, ice-blue eyes staring into her own silver ones.

"Weiss! You're awake!" She quickly glanced to the bed she'd been occupied, now empty with the sheets uncharacteristically messy. But Ruby panicked. "I... uhhhh... I can't talk to you, you don't understand!" The girl pushed her teammate away, and practically leaping off her feet, activated her semblance and bolted out the door and down the hall, leaving only a flurry of rose petals behind.

Weiss sighed, her face shifting from a comforting smile to a worried, concerned frown. But she knew what she had to do. Grabbing her rapier, Myrtenaster, she ran out the door after her partner, leaving the dorm empty.