Not What It Appears

A short story about a human that has fallen in love with an angel that he see's sitting on a meadow. But not everything is what it seems to be in this little love story...

Not What It Appears

The night I saw her was one of the scariest but happiest times of my life. I knew that I had to have her. She was the one I had been waiting so long for. But while I felt joyous, I felt afraid. My mind screamed that I should walk away but my heart ran away with my head and kept my feet rooted to the ground.

I simply stared at her quietly taking in her beauty as she sat on a hill in the meadow, looking to the star filled night. The slow breeze gently blew against her long raven hair while her fair skin showed no blemish and her long eyelashes batted as she blinked her luminous emerald eyes. It were as if I were captivated by her eyes and if I looked too long, I would become a slave to her beauty. Her lips were as dark as the night itself and she wore a long sleeved sweater and jeans, both black.

This was the part I feared. Coming out her back were large, black wings. Dark feathers littered the ground around her and occasionally, they would move, swaying across the meadow with the warm wind.

What was she? An angel? A demon? She may have looked dark but when I looked closer, I could see and sense something angelic about this creature. I almost felt safe just by being in her presence.

Clearing my throat, I took a cautious step forward. She suddenly turned, casting those beguiling green eyes at me. She stood, clearly shocked and alarmed, she took a step back. Further away from me. Determined, I took another step forward. I held my hands out to her, looking her in the eye.

“I mean you no harm, graceful angel. There is no need to fear me. I’m just a human, wishing to be in your presence” I said slowly and steadily, trying to calm her.

“As you’re a human, I believe you do mean to harm me. I can sense what you want. You want to be with me…” She replied, her voice was just as beautiful as her appearance. She had a soft, clear voice. She even sounded like an angel.

“Yes. I do want to be with you... Forever... you are beautiful...”

“I do not belong in this world therefore, I cannot be with you. I fear you as humans are foul creatures…” She paused, stepping away from me again “… I can sense your plans… You now intend to lock me up so that I’d have to stay with you. I will not let you cage me. Goodbye, human. Find one of your own kind to cage and do not expect angels to want to be with such a defiling creature”

Just then, right before my very eyes - she flew into the sky and disappeared. Despite what she said, I would not give up until I had taken her for myself. She will be mine forever. No matter what the cost…

Moral of the story - See people's true intentions before trusting them. All is not what it appears (as stated in the title)

Author's Note

Please leave me a review on this short story as Id very much like to hear your feedback even if it means telling me this is the worst story you have ever seen lol.

There's a moral to this short story and if you didn't see it at the end, the moral is "See people's true intentions before trusting them. All is not what it appears"...

Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

Hey, Violet, sorry for taking so long to get to your work; I tend to get distracted. Okay, onto the review. Your meaning or ‘moral’ is not lost on the reader, and the reason for this is you needed to point it out. You character says at the end, “I would not give up until I’ve taken her for myself.” This implies he is indeed the defiling creature she accused him (humans) of being; it sounds as if he plans to catch and in her words cage (though I know it was a metaphor, it sounds quite literal as well.)

The issue I see with this piece is not the moral, but the need to get behind the MC’s (main character) eyes and allow the reader to experience the events as they unfold. ‘I felt jealous. I felt afraid,’ you’re telling me the emotion felt, show it to me through action, inner thoughts.

‘This was the part I feared’. As a stand alone sentence this makes no sense, rework this sentence to conjoin with the following description of her black wings.

‘I almost felt safe’ why? Explain, why, other than just stating it.

Overall, I like the story. I believe coming upon a beauty, angelic or demon would scare the hell out of me as well . . . the uncertainty it would create, my hesitance to move close, the pull of wanting to get closer, to ask questions, the sensational urge of wanting to look in her eyes, to see what I could see, and any other number of emotions and thoughts . . . these and other thoughts and action should be going through your Mc’s head as he approached her.

I hope this helps

[Violet Stone]

Thank you so much, this helped greatly! I apprichaite the time you took to type this detailed review and I shall get right on making it better! Thanks again!

[Violet Stone]

appreciate* Terribly sorry. Its gotten late and my mind is quite working correctly :)

[Violet Stone]

Isnt quite* Again, I apologize.

[Riley Justine]

Amazing, and VERY true moral. I love it!

[WindsorWolf28]

I'd like to know more about the two characters. maybe the man's response to the angel.

[Tina Kline]

It is an enjoyable short story. Dark with a hit of romance. Yes, angels don't want to be caged but I wonder if she in intrigued despite what she claims.

[Darkened_drear]

Lovely:)I enjoyed it and was a rather interesting read