Sickness

Wonderful wonders,
in the sand.
Something contagious,
something grand.

Can you see,
can you see me?
Floating by,
dancing loftily.

Cautious curiosity,
comes the sun.
whispering by,
colors beginning to run.

Can you hear,
can you hear me?
as I sing,
oh so softly.

Devious dreams,
as you sleep.
Sighing screams,
within the deep.

Can you feel,
can you feel me?
a caress so sweet,
with the blood I weep.

Tedious tendencies,
from the soul.
crashing down,
digging a deeper hole.

Can you taste,
can you taste me?
with each breath,
as I posses you.

Reviews

[Allen Smuckler]

Great, emotional write not worthy of a mature audience rating (I don't think, anyway)...every colorful line is pg rated and beautifully stated...I enjoyed everything about it.
very interesting and creative rhyme scheme allowed this poem to flow graciously to its finale. A wonderful read.
allen

[TadKent]

It's usually pretty hard for me to take a rhyming piece seriously.
But this one was easy to enjoy, line after line of genius. You surprise me at every verse in simple and subtle ways.
In other words, you kick a*s. ;)

[Amit Parmessur]

I really like the style, repetitive sounds...

[J Todd Underhill]

I agree with the last commentor this is misfiled for sure, mature audience, teen, all ages really could benefit and learn for this piece. I would go so far as to say this could be worthy of poetic lesson material.

[K.C. Zbryk]

Very powerful, and the way that some of the questions are repeated give the piece almost an erie effect. But still it is a masterpiece.

[Linear]

I'm certain he does, such loving gentle words wash over the reader as they pass through marvelous writing