Jealousy

 

It was so hard not to cry just then. What would it be like to have a home, a real home? Not a vacant shelter empty of love and affection, but a place where I would feel safe and happy as soon as I saw it.

So many people never realize how lucky they are, simply that they have a family to come home to. All I had was a building, cold and barren, serving only as a material shelter from the elements. Sometimes, a house is not a home.

I peeked at Gail, seeing how he would react to my silent outburst, my waves of jealousy directed towards him. He seemed unaffected except for the lingering darkness in his eyes.

My eyes started to water again and my nose got that unpleasant stinging feeling. I pressed my lips together and clutched weakly at my backack, the bandages pinching my cuts. I couldn’t understand how a total stranger could possibly feel such compassion for another person. Guilt chewed at my stomach again, for being angry, for being jealous. Everyone should have a home, even the lowest and cruelest of people, and Gail was clearly not one of those. It made no sense for me to be so envious and possessive of something that he absolutely deserved.

But I was because I didn’t have it.

The Jeep lurched to a stop and I was startled to see my house out the window. “Well,” Gail sighed, “we’re here.”

I nodded stupidly and shifted around in the seat, anxious to get away from the tense atmosphere. Even though inside wouldn’t be much better. “Thank you for helping me, I’m sorr-”

“Alula, wait.” Gail put a light hand on my arm as I was opening the door and trying to leave. I looked back at him and saw the kindness in his eyes again.

“Before you go, there’s something I’m supposed to tell you.” I tensed up, uneasy, and slowly swiveled around to face him again. He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat, the foolish thing. “My dad wanted me to say that our door is always open for you.”

I looked at him in simple shock, my eyes wide. Was it true? Did he honestly mean that?

He laughed quietly at my expression, at ease and comfortable once again. “And next time, you don’t have to fall down if you need to stay the night.”

I bowed my head and watched my bag swim in front of me, distorted as if underwater. I pressed a mummy hand to my eyes, absorbing the tears instantly in the gauze. I didn’t want him to see that.

But I did want him to see how happy I was. I lifted my head and gave him a small smile. “Thank you so much. I’ll definitely remember that.”

Gail beamed at me and patted my arm, sinking into big brother mode. “Of course. And, Alula? I really mean anytime.”

My face broke into a smile and I gasped a happy little laugh and wiped my eyes again.

“Hey, you like James Bond?”

I looked at him, completely caught off guard by his sudden question. “Yeah.”

Cracking a wry grin he said, “Great. Why don’t you come over after school today and we’ll watch a few?”

I smiled like crazy at him, elated. “That sounds great.” Then the other part of his sentence hit me. After school! My face fell and I scrambled out of the Jeep. “I really have to go, I can’t show up late again!”

“Hey, wait!” Gail called after me, leaning out the open door, “You need a ride?”

“No!” I called back, “I walk!”

I looked back over as I was fumbling with my key, and I saw Gail laughing to himself as he shut the Jeep. I grinned as I walked inside, his happiness contagious.

Then I got down to business and took the fastest shower of my life. When I got out the gauze was soggy and limp so I had to change it. I finally got it right after the fourth or fifth time and I didn’t cut off the blood flow to my hands.

I scampered upstairs in just a towel, thankful for once that I lived alone. After I got dressed I grabbed my backpack off the kitchen table, fed Picky-picky, and stumbled out the door again.

Author's Note

Okay, so in similarity to chapter 3, this one is pretty short. I was getting bored of not writing anything more to this and so decided to get back to it. Only, as soon as I picked up the dang pen, all inspiration I had for it disappeared and this is what happened :S
Will probably do a rewrite or something when I'm finished with the next few chapters and see what more detail and/or events I can add in.
Thanks for reading :)

-Beth

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

'backack' Someone has a typo

Well I agree with Alula. People that nice just shouldn't exist. Makes me suspicious. Anyway, too short to really comment on anything. It's just more filler, nothing to complain about but I'm still waiting for something interesting (and realistic) to actually happen.

Onwards.