Restless Shelter

Restless Shelter

 

I want a normal life; a normal waking life, with parents who work together--Mom in home, Dad at work. A way to get ahead--plans in motion, funding in place. I want a mother who doesn't wrestle around at night--while dreaming of her meth addicted boyfriend--in and out of jail. With her varicose-veined legs in constant movement, an aching itch she can never scratch, and her winces and pained verbal reactions. I want a Father who doesn't put a bottle between him and the world, constant in his ways--an ever deepening hermit of self-doubt and repressed misery, and falsified with an ego--granting him his own delusions of omnipotence. I want parents free from addiction, self-harm, and destruction. I want a normal life, a ‘something’ I once had.

 

I had thought that they changed (especially Mom), that they became something else. They never have--never will. I only changed, just me. I don’t like how I feel, what I see, the things I hear, the pain around every place I once laughed and played. It hurts me, yeah--though no matter how great or small the resentment, hurt, frustration, and sadness may be--it is everywhere, for everyone, in every way. I have a normal life.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sophy Freebirds]

This sort of story is a common thing in India,drunk fathers get home abusig there wives and daughters.. Never having a night of peace.It touched my heart.. I like feministic stuff.. the way you've voiced her story that she wants a shelter.. She has had enough of this.. i guess she will fight.. And build a life of her own.. Nice write amigo ;)

~Sophy

[V. P. Trujillo]

Yep. "She'll" do well enough.

[Chloe_Spence]

Everything here flows nicely together- the sentences are stringed together in a way that only a poet could do. You convey a lot of emotion and the pain and struggle is reflected, Vincent. Well done :)

[V. P. Trujillo]

Thank you, Chloe_Spence.

[Michelle N. H.]

I know little of these sorts of struggles, how it is to live in such environment, as I come from a very different home.. I am reminded of a friend of mine, although her situation is much different. She has difficult parents, and once told me that her comfort is to know she isn't their exact image, that she has the will and the means to be there for her children in a way her parents could not be there for her. It is how she deals with the hurt, by being aware the past won't be the future, by keeping faith and thus making it so.. One has to accept what was, is and just love in order to change, and you are. That is also a way of altering ones circumstances, as we naturally attract and move towards our own vibrational frequency.. People change when they want to, we are all on our own journey, and I know it's hard, when you see a pain you cannot heal, although you do your best attempt. It is the act of a beautiful heart.