Passenger

Show me why this pill isn't one to cherish

God, I trust every skin as if it had warmth,

show me how to share this pill in my morning rise--

I can see it coming all over your cloud.

Still dying of the boredom--I want you again and again

make a lip taste the human profile!

 

So sixteen voices all want to,

want you...

what you get

what you want from them?

　

How sweet of you, precious--

it can suffer around the prostitute, dying to try it all!

At least it shows you care!

Forget the stares bound by noise.

 

So sixteen more sounds can end the same,

want to want you

is it how you get it?

　

Singe it all, it starts to stir again

falling all over your cloud

no one ever says "look what it's doing to you"

is that how it feels?

tricks and nicks to seduce the pill bound by the same voice.

All I want is to play with you, watch you again and again

dying of the boredom.

Reviews

[Nix]

This is an immensely deep poem. Emotion pervades the entire thing. Vocabulary is very well used and it drives it's point home in the end. Very well done.

[Missphit]

You know I have to take 7 pills a day, 3 of which many people would pay big money for on the streets but do not mind my twisted mind this is not about a pill to me, this is about a state of mind. Maybe because I "short out" if I don't have what I need I interpret words differently but I see beyond a word and delve deeper. This poem which reads more like a short story to me makes sense as if each line is giving a hint to a crossword puzzle I am solving.
One can die of boredom doing crossword puzzles, but this one was solvent.
Exquisitly written perhaps for someone just like me who becomes squeamish at the inevitable. I absolutely love and can more importantly relate to your style. Love, Love this! Subscribing to you as you intrigue me.
Bravo!

[Vile]

Thank you very much for the kind words. Glad you enjoy my work. :D I look forward to hearing more from you.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Keep writing like this and you'll have me addicted!! LMAO! ;D

My favorite stanza~

"Show me why this pill isn't one to cherish

God, I trust every skin as if it had warmth--

show me how to share this pill in my morning rise

still dying of the boredom from it all--I want you again and again

make a lip taste the human profile!"~ This may be bad for you... but what a high!
Nicely penned!..I love the teasing sexual undertones... it has a nice bite.~xoxo~ :D

[The Verse: A Poetry Jou..]

WOW, very Anne Sexton-ish, either masturbation, or an addict and his morning routine of sixteen pills or a a poem of a "persona" of a story that I don't know, like if you paused a play in mid action just for fun, because you observed something no one else did. It creates a distinction in you poetry. I really enjoyed it, excellent.

[Vile]

Glad you dig it man.

[Astro]

Well first off, I'd like to say that I like this one, the voice of it, the separation of images and imposing dialogue and how it all stays connected in a clever repetition of words and slight variations of phrasing. As to my understanding of the piece, I'm a little thrown off by the title because, and trust me I'm surely way off base, but the poem seemed to be describing a fascination with ones dick, and how masturbation can be viewed, and how it often seems like the best option to overcome boredom, but not exactly an answer, just like a pleasing treatment of some affliction. Again, I'm probably delusional, but I still like it either way.

[Zero_Edge88]

"So yummy of your pill. I wonder what it side effect will it give me should I take it. Rather if I miss dose would I crave over such intoxicating material? After all aren't we all but afflicted of some degree to a pain we never know that's coming for us until the last minute? Or are we going to just find out that this pill is just another placebo or should I see it as a nocebo? For what is more intoxicating the content of the pill or the fact that it is just another pill?"

That is my review :) :P Haha! Have a good day good Sir :)

[Savannah Hudgens]

This makes me think. Psychosis? Multiple personalities in an already deranged world? It fits, and I'm so sad that it does. Most hysteria does. What inspired this?

V.

[Vile]

Hm, I wouldnt really say anything inspired this, rather just an idea I had. Thank you for the review.

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

Intriguing, with many interpretations left to the imagination. I would love to know what the 'sixteen' meant in you mind. I suspect that my grandchildren will be studying your writings in school one day...and I can tell them, " I know him!"

[Vile]

Lovely review, such praise. :D Thank you.

[London's Lily]

I would be enthralled to hear you read your own poetry... your style always amazes me! I find myself reading your poems over & over, always finding something I missed the previous time, and thus changing my interpretation (again). A peek inside your mind as you conjure up these poems would surely yield fascinating results... ;)

[Vile]

Hm, I dont know about that. Hoenstly my poetry isnt meant to be spokenword. But Im glad you find such fascination in my work, thats what I look o invoke in my writing. :D

[London's Lily]

Well, so much for my subtle attempt at finding hints as to what some of your poetry really means ;) haha Back to the drawing board!

[Vile]

Well all my poetry is a persona, it has nothing to do with me personally, its not my own experiences or my own feelings, nor my story. I create a story, I create the motions,I create the character. In a sense...it's just a short story in poetry form. :P

[London's Lily]

Oh that much I do know, of course! I'm just curious as to whether I ever come close to interpreting these stories accurately, or if I'm off in left field somewhere. :)

[Vile]

Well give it a shot. :D
Whether right or not, I still enjoy hearing peoples interpretation, I like when people analyze my work.

[Rita L. Sev]

This is an intense piece; there is a lot to wrap the mind around here.