The LIghthouse.

(unfinished.)

 That night we were numb. Stumbling to escape the glacial shivers on his back I reached for his palm and followed into the dark. My feet, unsure of where to step blundered upon the sea of cold sheets which were soon moist from the  thoughts that we dare not mention. Stripped from my outside senses I could still recognize the  fragments of his breathing. Sinking deep, his lips met mine and  the sour taste of deluted rum inculcated my mouth. My fingers smelled of cigarettes, and with this observation I stood up and left him laying alone in the shadows.My mouth is soft to the touch;my words are piercing and harsh.  Who have I become? I smiled and with each moving muscle my face has transmogrified into a  raw corrugation. For the first time in years,my reflection reiterated who I was.  I am a new dimension of woman. 

Reviews

[Wildecat]

This a wonderful poem, loved the imagery,thanks for sharing.

[kollaboratyve]

A masterful work!!!!!!! I enjoyed every word, and could feel the mood of it. The rhythm ,imagery, sound setting, and color is all that. It just jumps out an grabs the reader. I could not think of a better featured piece on any writers site. Keep on writing such revealing and powerful poetry. I hope to see you get a noble, you are just that good!. Great things lay in your future. This would be wonderful for a spoken word piece. It is very descriptive and detailed. Be encourage and write, write,write!!!!!

[Conner G]

Pretty good. I enjoyed. Have you tryed putting this in a poetic form? Right now it just looks like a fancy paragraph.