Erstwhile Jacket

Mood swings - made me write this :/

Got up at 12:39 PM with a vexation

Whisky bottles all over empty

Eyeballs became reddish

Wept a lot last nighttime

Your missives were on my table

You said naught

Left me dumb

Cigarette butt all over

I got up fatigue and decrepit

Got my old jacket on my knee

Washed my face

Got dressed

Went to have a coffee at la cafeteria

Thinking of old memories regarding us

Lightened up the last weed rolled cig

Hands inside the jacket

Got your last missives

Suggesting me you're long gone

With the night, I killed myself.

Reviews

[Prritiy]

hmm a hurt heart but never ever think what you thought at end.

just remember all those who still love you and how they will be without you, your parents, siblings, life partner, kids and that they will forever blame themselves for no fault of theirs and those living will die everyday, every moment....

best wishes

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you for your visit Prritiy.. I'm glad you liked it ;)

Cheers!
Singh :)

[Prritiy]

you are welcome :)
how is the lil angel :)

[Vikrantsingh]

She's great :) thanks

[Prritiy]

:)...........

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Oh Singh, this truly unhinged me!...I felt the undertow of your emotions, pulling my thoughts under, to a dark place. The end was very intense, and I hope you know that it hurts to read. Please release what ails you. (((hugs)))

Profound write!~xoxo~

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much dearie :) Loved your review as always :)
Thanks again, Now i'm Ok :)
- Singh :)

[Jack...]

She slammed the door but thankfully you found your way out, into the night, where shadows point and coffee is hot...and the mind flows to another day. Very nicely done my friend, even if sadness and pain are evident.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks for your visit Jack much appreciate :) You always make sense in your review and comments which raise the value of my poetry :)
- Singh :)

[Vani Jalagar]

Eyeballs became reddish
Wept a lot last nighttime
Your missives were on my table
You said naught
Left me dumb....
this expresses the frustration in mind and how hard it is to believe that "you gave me memories and gone" ...so painful...
"Thinking of old memories regarding us
Lightened up the last weed rolled cig"

"Kitna Daraawna Tha Wo Manzar Jab Hum Bichade The
Us Ne Kaha Tha Jeena Bhi Hain aur Rona Bhi Nahi"

[Vikrantsingh]

Wow I love the last Sher it was great Vani - I'm glad this poem made you sense of true words and expressions throughout :)
I'm pleased with your comments and review :)
- Singh :)

[Sanjeeta Sharma Pokhar..]

This one is good. For this have so much of pain, still appears simple. The flow and the style, amazing! No bulky words to define the moment that bereaved the heart!
Simple and elegant...

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you for your visit Sanjeeta - I hope you like this one :)
- Singh :)

[Sanjeeta Sharma Pokharel "Hridayaninadini"]

Yes, I did :)

[poetdoug]

Very descriptive and the words draw us all along to the 'shock-jock' ending.
Good job my friend

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks Poetdoug Much appreciated your review and your understanding on this :)
I'm glad you liked it :)
- Singh :)

[smilempsn]

Hope now your mood is good..
Whenever in bad mood, think of the Angel and you will be just fine :)
At least you have someone, with whom you can speak to directly what ...when you feel.. :)

Godji Bless you..
Keep SMILING ALWAYS.... :) :)
And a BIG SHUTUP.. for the END..!! :@ :@ :@ :@ :@
(Don't ANGRY me..!!)

[Vikrantsingh]

Yes you directed it at the right spot.. Smilempsn :) I forgot all my worries when I see my angel. She's my only love of life :)
Thank for getting angry at me :P, I truly agree.. that last line is mad :/
But that's how you end up in misery :( don't you?
- Singh :)

[smilempsn]

Nope... Incorrect... You wify too is your love of life :) :)
last line.. really really MAD..

Hmm NOPE.. every misery has a better way out.. The scenario stands for, when THE END is coming... :-/ :)

[Vikrantsingh]

Sorry for that it just went with that flow :/

[smilempsn]

jaaoo muaaff kiyaaa :P B-)

[Vikrantsingh]

;) thank you so much sweets :D

[smilempsn]

..hehe.. :)
Howz biwi n angel ?? All fine at home ?

[Cody Williams]

Great poem man! Thanks for sharing it!

-CW

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks for your visit :) Much appreciate :)
- Singh :)

[ANTO]

Very vivdly written Singh and the death at the end is a master-stroke. Made me wish i was in a city that had all night cafes just to act this out - well except for the last line...
Grand writing.

[Vikrantsingh]

Lol that was funny Anto.. Well I don't booze - neither do I smoke... Well but to accompany you well not probs.. :) Well I glad you like this poem :)
- Singh :)

[Eddie Phillips]

The ending got me a little. I wasn't expecting it. I followed the poem and felt the Bogie like aura of the poem. Then you hit me with the last line. Loved the construction of the piece.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you Eddie :) I really i'm not in great shape. Thus - this went ending up once life at the end..
Jack here i was pointing at my body.. which i left at the end :)
- Cheers!
- Singh :)

[Frieda P]

Just because she said 'naught'....just keep smoking that last weed cig and you'll forget about it, for a while anyway...tugs at the heartstrings, not the usual Singh singing praises of love but a very good read, except you know I gasped at the ending...x

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks you Fredia :) It happens - you have some bad memories keep disturbing your present. Well this was just a bad shape write :/
Will not repeat - again hopefully.
- Thanks again for visiting and reviewing my work as always :)
- Singh :)

[Frieda P]

Oh I know all too well my friend....just not used to that kind of read from you, it's all good :-)
My pleasure always :-)

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks again :) - good thing is i'm back ;)
- Singh :)