Unborn Grief - Girls

This was very touching/strong.This normally happens in India.. I tried to pottery something which is real and which happens everyday - resources.

I'm in nirvana with angels

Got all love from them

Looking down

Weeping upside down

Trenchant for my mater 

Even for that begetter 

I was your part my mater

Wished to develop firm and tall

Just like my brother

But I was bumped off 

By my begetter

What was my mistake?

Is it just I was doll? 

I prayed for you mater

You live longer and stay firm

You loved me every single moment

You feed me with love and notions

Next time I want to be your doll

Please don't murder me

Live with me & don't leave me alone.

Author's Note

Genuine Comments Please :)

Reviews

[smilempsn]

Hmm.... that made me sad and happy at the same moment :(
Sad, because it actually happens at a much higher growth in India
Happy, because you wrote and described it so wonderfully..

The grief...the feelings wrapped in words beautifully..
nice one VikrantSingh Parmar....

Another amazing write :)

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Smilemspn :) Loved the review :)
- Singh :)

[Astro]

Firstly, in your second description you say, "Every day - every 5 hours" if it happens every 5 hours, you don't need to state every day, it is implied that there are at least 5 hours in a day. Using the terms "Mater" and "Begetter" are a little unorthodox, but I felt like you shouldn't have to explain in brackets what these terms mean in the poem itself, it is distracting and if these terms are so strange that they need explanation, perhaps just using terms that are more easily understood would be better to help strengthen your point of view. From a man who loves women, I agree that there should be something done to stop this practice of gender culling, as it does create just as many societal problems as it is proposed to help solve. Truly, I think that in a lot of cases children aren't a necessity in a lot of parts of the world, and that whether it's a boy or a girl being born, we as humans have to think about the reality of overpopulation as much as the propagation of the species. Either way Singh, you have penned a thought provoking write. I think if you wanted to expand upon it, you could write an article or a blog post about it. Cheers.

[Vikrantsingh]

I removed it, just want to show how still now a day this is happening in India :(
Yes I used some unorthodox words not to confused ppl in this poetry. I used it just to get that feel :).. I really appreciate your review always something to learn and study how should I develop new things in my writing and expressing one's view. You also shared all the informative things which I will follow closely.

Thank you so much Astro :)
Cheers!
Singh :)

[Astro]

Glad I could help Singh, keep up the good work, you have a good talent at writing about world tragedy, perhaps you should go into journalism.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank You So Much Astro :) will try If possible :)
Much appreciated :)
-Singh :)

[Ruth]

Oh my! Poignantly direct and beautiful at the same time, really well conveyed love...honest opinion? Beautifully delivered and such an emotive piece! x

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much PoppySilver :D
I'm glad you liked it :)
Thanks for your time and review :)
- Singh :)

[Vikrantsingh]

This is so touching my dear friend, you bring here a very important point at issue, which I appreciate. It makes me sad, sometimes the world can be so harsh, to women, and even pragnant women... the grief it brings to family and friends, to mothers, and to the unborn... I greatly applaud you for bringing this topic, and can only say, you have a real heart my friend. Thank you so much.

- Elisa

[Vikrantsingh]

Elisa :) Thank you so much I really loved your review and Women is way sensitive topic to discuss on.. I hope I did justice to it :)
- Singh :)

You did my friend, you have all my blessings. Really! it touched me deeply. Much love, Eli

[Vikrantsingh]

You're welcome Eli :)

[Karen]

I'm always impressed by the poet as the social justice agent, and that is what you are when you write about topics that are touchy and "unpopular." This poem is beautifully written from the dead girl's perspective but there is hope instead of accusation, which makes the poem so much more poignant. Thank you for writing and sharing this poem with us.

[Vikrantsingh]

You're welcome Karen :) I'm glad you loved it :)
I just tried to involved something which is not yet touched by anyones here on WC.
Thank you so much for your time and valuable review on my poem :)
Stay Blessed :)
Singh :)

[Joyrider]

Well done mate. The topic you have chosen is really excellent. Very few people can touch on such topics. The grief of the dead girl child is well portrayed.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much shiggy for your wonderful review :)
- Singh :)

[John A Raju]

touching lines vikrant, true story too, well written

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks bro for your time and help as always :)
-Singh :)

[Onku Ghosh]

A very touching write.The killing of these girl foetus' carries on unabetted in INdia.This inhuman practice should stop.Wonderfully penned, with true feelings .

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Onku. Yes this must be stopped completely.
Unless we do this this poem will keep striking me again and again for justice :(
- Singh :)

[Sarmelendez]

made me tear. Its so well written

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Sarah :) I'm glad you liked it :)
- Singh :)

[Rhiti Bose]

I am a mother of a two year old daughter, and your poem brought goosebumps. Strong and powerful lines depicting the harsh reality. Good work.

[Vikrantsingh]

Yes, Rhiti - thank you so much for reading my poetry and sharing your reviews I loved it :)
I have a daughter she will turning 4 month old by this 9th Aug.
I know how they are :) they are just a magical gift by god and they are very delicate just like flower :)
- Singh :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

That is so sad, Singh and you expressed that sadness so well in this poem. I love that it was told in the voice of the baby girl.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Lori :) for your review and you understanding on this sensitive topic :)
- Singh :)