Be My Butterfly

Someone special - I wrote this one :)

Be my butterfly

Keep flying by my side

Just two words in all

I love you so much that’s all.

 

Keep showing me your colours

Keep fluttering within my heart

Do what you like

Because I'm just your type

 

Seemed so close enough

That's true you kiss me differently enough

We had all shades of love 

We have all shades of life

 

Sticking with you

Kissing you

Are just few of the things I want
just to be with you is all I ever wanted

Author's Note

Just tell me what needs to be improve in this :)

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

beautiful love poem, butterfly is a great symbol..and a gentle creature, changing in short time...It can express freedom and women`s free soul...I loved how you expressed that, also the color of butterflies are special nature art :) my favorite :
We had all shades of love
We have all shades of life

-nour-
June-013

[Vikrantsingh]

Loved it! Thanks dear hehehehehehe i'm so happy looking at the reviews :)
Much appreciated :)

Singh :)

[Pallavi Chaturvedi]

A really sweet poem :)

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks Pallavi :)

Cheers!
Singh ;)

[Pallavi Chaturvedi]

u r welcome :)

[Vikrantsingh]

:)

[Shivam Murari]

I think you attempted to rhyme and make a blind verse at the same time. Now, rhyming is not necessary. Modern poetry involves no rhyme. So you can do without trying to force in a rhyming scheme either.

Secondly, NEVER, just NEVER use the same word at the end of two consequent sentences or two rhyming sentences. That is what I have been meaning as "REPETITIVE", seems like you never got my meaning.

Coming to the content. FANTASTIC. :)
You are brilliant at that. Why don't you try writing articles or chapters. That would make more sense because you have brilliant thinking capacity. :-)
Hope you don't mind my review :)

[Vikrantsingh]

I don't mind and never take thing/words personal mate.
I told na i need reviews bad or good, I need to learn more and more :)
Thanks mate :)
Cheers!
Singh :)

[Shivam Murari]

My pleasure :)

[Vikrantsingh]

Its my pleasure though :)

[Shivam Murari]

Well, making you better is my pleasure :P

[Vikrantsingh]

Lol now this will sound more :P

[Shivam Murari]

no, it doesn't :P

[Vikrantsingh]

Awwwww :$

[Shivam Murari]

:D

[Shivam Murari]

PS - u hvnt checked my read request yet >.< R u flooded with RRs too?

[Vikrantsingh]

:D Yes to much of them and don't have really time to check them :(

[Akshat♥]

Different kind of piece my friend :)
nice imagination !!
I would love it more if you have written it longer :)
Overall short and sweet write up!!
KEep Writing !!

Your friend
Akshat

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks Akshat :) It was just 3-4 minutes work during my tiring working hours :)
I hope, as Shivam reviewed my poem I have/or not good imagination power lets see i will try writing chapter and stories too :)

[Akshat&hearts;]

I know you will do great my friend :)
Just be positive!!
If we write together..we can write in seconds also :D

[Vikrantsingh]

;) quiet a great thought :)

[Akshat&hearts;]

will do one day :)

[Vikrantsingh]

sure :)

[Akshat&hearts;]

Am Glad to know that :)

[Vikrantsingh]

:D with pleasure :D

[Frieda P]

Sweet and from the heart, you know I love butterflies!

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks me too, I love Butterflies :D

[Baby Ricochet]

Tighten up the meter by counting the syllables in every line. There's free online syllable counting sites if you need them. You can base the piece on a 8/6 count. 8 syllables in one line, six in the next and so on. You don't have to be dead on with the count, it's really more of a guide. Some short words have three syllables, such a "terrify" terr/i/fy while some long words will have only one, such as "through." So base your lines on word length and syllables and in no time you will be the meter master of the WC.

[Vikrantsingh]

I need those link, I will work on my meter part :) thank you so much Ricochet

[smilempsn]

hmm nice.. just somethings that I think...

'We had all shades of love ' .. means past tense.. would be better if its 'We have all shades of love '


'Sticking to you - Sticking with you..
Kiss to you - Kissing you..
Are just what I wanted - Are just few of the things I want..
Just to be with you all I wanted' - Just to be with you is all I ever wanted..


words chahe jo marzi ho... feeling pahunchni chahiye..
The word were enuf to feel the poem..:) nice...

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks for your review will make changes ;)
Much appreciated :)
It was very quick poem and while writing this poem I was working too so didn't got time to check
Whereas I got my friend to help me ;)
Thanks Smile *hugs*
Smiles!
Singh

[smilempsn]

..hehe.. Anytime :)
now sleep :P

[Vikrantsingh]

GN

[smilempsn]

:)

[Vikrantsingh]

done made changes :P

[smilempsn]

^-^

[Vikrantsingh]

;)

[Sami Khalil]

"That's true you kiss me differently enough

We had all shades of love

We have all shades of life:"
I do like the poem and those lines...Thank you for sharing...:)

[Vikrantsingh]

Sami Thanks Mate :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome, mate...:)

[Vikrantsingh]

^ - ^

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)