War

Here we are, here we are

Seeing the ugliness of war

People running, family mourning

Shouldn't the children be in school learning?

 

Soldiers with guns

The loss of fun

People are terrified

Mothers are left to cry

 

It is WAR,

It has been RAW,

We saw it live,

We tried to stay alive.

 

Even when people are asleep,

They cry and try to fight back,

It’s just three words,

Which last in my mind as WAR

Reviews

[Prritiy]

Here we are, here we are
Seeing the ugliness of war
People running, family mourning
Shouldn't the children be in school learning?

war is rarely good, you have written is nicely and sharply too.

It is WAR,
It has been RAW,
We saw it live,
We tried to stay alive.

wonderful work here War and the opposite sequence Raw done intelligently.

true as you end the war really doesn't end with end of physical war but the scare remain and hurt.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks you so much :) Prritiy :)
Almost all poems are review :P
- Thank you so muchread moreThanks you so much :) Prritiy :)
Almost all poems are review :P
- Thank you so much
- Singh :)

[Prritiy]

yeah till now i had some more than 200 read requests i did my duty fully :)
you are welcome :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Indeed.....the ruthless war is a curse....you desperately told the impacts, the reality of useless war....war except blood, cry, pain, destruction destroys everyone. Through your verses I easily can feel the emotions. Agreeing with others I liked the following lines.

It is WAR,
It has been RAW,

Why don't people are given eye to see the inferno?

Why don't people are given hearts to feel the pain of a person?

Why don't people have ears to hear the scream of pain?

Wonderfully carved!

Pen on.

Devanshu

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you Devashnu ;)
Much Appreciated and thanks for your time on my work :)

- Singh :)

[Astro]

I personally, haven't seen the effects of war close-up and personal so, the graphic imagery that you allude to with the words 'WAR' and 'RAW' might not hold the weight it would for those who have been affected by it or, are living with it. Unfortunately, I have been born with a vivid imagination and a loving soul which affords me with an emotionally charged response to words on the page. Was this poem the best I have read about war, no, but Singh, you lent your voice to a human endeavor that cannot be dismissed. The flaw in the human condition that allows for violence against our own species, neighbors, friends, and sometimes even family. For this, I honor your poem with a fond review for your efforts and valor.

[Vikrantsingh]

Astro, Thank you so much for you time and your input on this poem. I just read the topic of war between Israel and Palestine. Similarly this is happening all over. Even in India is facing this issue since long time. I beg and plead to everyone just stop this unwanted war and brutality all over.

- Peace & Unity
Singh :)

[Astro]

Respect my friend, keep the dialogue going and never forget your voice.

[Vikrantsingh]

:) thanks mate :)

[Kristin Lee]

The message of this one hits hard, war is malicious. Mark already touched on the grammar issues I saw. But I liked this one. You did a good job conveying an important message.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Kristin :)
This is my initial writing, I was new and now I have improved drastically ;)

- Singh :)

[sakshi arora]

i have read your better flow before.i liked the simplicity of the poem

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you Sakshi :)
I'm happy you liked this poem :)

- Singh :)

[SyberRose]

War is sad indeed...I think you can remove the word fight in one of the last lines....its not needed.
Its just three words...did you mean three letters. War has three letters...Is that what you meant?...Rose

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Rose :)
I'm happy you read my poems and enjoy :)
- Singh :)

[Traci]

"It is WAR,
It has been RAW"

Singh, I like the concept, sentiment and the powerful execution of your words. Also the changes you've made.This poem truly portrays the reality of war and the effects on all. Very heartfelt, nice job, my friend.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you Traci :)
Thank you for your review and you liked it :)
Singh :)

[Traci]

As always, my pleasure.

[MOON]

War is pointless and robs everyone , good write!

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks Mate :)

[Will Neill]

Singh, I'm afraid I agree with Kaolmsted on this one, I think you should look again at the translation, maybe lose the red bold font (passive agressive can work just as well)- War is a terrible thing and I think you tried to convey the horror by using it, let the reader visulise himself by your words rather than images. I am not a poet, by my own style I am a story writer so this is just my opinion.
above all keep writing.
Will

[Vikrantsingh]

Yes! Will this was my early attempt when I just started writing poems. I hope, I made lots of changes and good improvement in my poem then and now :)

Thank you so much for you time and great reviews Will :)

Singh :)

[Will Neill]

You are welcome Singh.
Will

[Mark]

Grammar: "Aren't the children should be in school learning" should be "Shouldn't the children be in school learning" or Why aren't the children in school learning" or just plain The children should be in school learning" The last one appeals to me.

"Mothers are left to cried" should be "Mothers are left to cry"

I think you did a good job with it, just those issues and I wasn't sure what three words you were talking about at the end.

[Vikrantsingh]

Made possible changes Mark,
This was my learning stage ;)
I'm happy you loved it :)
read moreMade possible changes Mark,
This was my learning stage ;)
I'm happy you loved it :)

- Cheers!
Singh :)

[Sami Khalil]

A powerful poem that shows the reality of wars ...Well done,...:)

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you Sami :)
Love to see your comment on my poems :)

Singh :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...Any time...:)