War

Here we are, here we are

Seeing the ugliness of war

People running, family mourning

Shouldn't the children be in school learning?

 

Soldiers with guns

The loss of fun

People are terrified

Mothers are left to cry

 

It is WAR,

It has been RAW,

We saw it live,

We tried to stay alive.

 

Even when people are asleep,

They cry and try to fight back,

It’s just three words,

Which last in my mind as WAR

Reviews

[Prritiy]

Here we are, here we are
Seeing the ugliness of war
People running, family mourning
Shouldn't the children be in school learning?

war is rarely good, you have written is nicely and sharply too.

It is WAR,
It has been RAW,
We saw it live,
We tried to stay alive.

wonderful work here War and the opposite sequence Raw done intelligently.

true as you end the war really doesn't end with end of physical war but the scare remain and hurt.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thanks you so much :) Prritiy :)
Almost all poems are review :P
- Thank you so muchread moreThanks you so much :) Prritiy :)
Almost all poems are review :P
- Thank you so much
- Singh :)

[Prritiy]

yeah till now i had some more than 200 read requests i did my duty fully :)
you are welcome :)

[Supercop]

True my friend war is not good for any one this one is amazing

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much for reviewing and visiting my page :)
- Singh :)

[Cybertooth]

War is not good for anyone
I loved it the way you narrated it.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much for reviewing and visiting my page :)
- Singh :)

[Shaun Payton]

War is suppose to be a last resort...when a great power tries to conquer all and strip humanity from its free will to live love and laugh.

[Vikrantsingh]

Hehehehe yes we need better life without war and fight :)

[Shaun Payton]

Well seems to me the choice is easy..love one another..

[Vikrantsingh]

Yes thats true *Thumbs Up*

[Shaun Payton]

A world too judgemental loses wars even if won.

[Vikrantsingh]

War is always a loss of life, property with emotional break down and many more things followed with this.

[Shaun Payton]

Yeah, it is sad.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

This maybe a late review, Singh. I have 72 read request until now and I am trying to read, if not all at least to lessen it.

War, like the usual topic of Coyote Poetry, has done no good things to man and nature. There's no winner at all. It only causes death and destruction.


You have your own style here, Singh. Your creativity is therefore improving. You have different concept now. Nice choice of pictures.

I only see a couple of typo or perhaps the choice of least appropriate word?
*We saw it live,
We tried to stay alive.--------------Why live? Which/Who lives? The WAR? -------Or should it be possible as:

"We have to hide
We tried to stay alive."

*It’s just three words fight----------What are those 3 words?----- I think what you mean is:
"It's just a three-letter word" (fight is not needed).

I hope this can help. But Singh, always remember that this is your poem. I am only giving my suggestions. If it's okay to you, then I'll be glad. if it's not, I'll understand. You know what's best for your piece, Singh.

In general, still, I admire you for having this different concept, breaking your Romantic Indian Poet record. Lol.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you Dhaye, No issues thank you so much for you time :)

[John A Raju]

war is hard and unnecessary, different from your usual topics of writing, well written nevertheless, keep it up, your grammar has improved too, good work

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much John :)

[Onku Ghosh]

nice write!! War is devastating yet why do people go to war?????

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Onku

[smilempsn]

The topic is just different from what you write...
but I liked it a lot..

War does nothing good, else that terrifying the people.. and destroying many peoples life...
Its not just the physical 'world' war we need to sort out.. But war within us should also be sorted out....

War which directly effect our thinking.. War between our heart and mind..
War between our mental peace and chaos.. War between what we want to do and what we do..

[Vikrantsingh]

Wow! thank you so much Smile, Such a wonderful review. I appreciate you time and your words on this page :)

Thank you so much

Hugs & Kisses :)
Singh :)

[smilempsn]

your most welcome VikrantSingh Parmar :)

[Jack...]

Very nice my friend. War is definitely hell for all of those affected by it. It seems to be never ending, which will end up being the sad demise of life. You have captured the torment and the pain wonderfully in this piece.

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Jack, I appreciate your time and review :)
- Singh :)

[Zero_Edge88]

(To me, grammatical teaching sense, when it comes to writing when too much editing is done it becomes less of your work than what you wanted to be. I get the syntactic and the mechanic of it but in the end the appeal of writing your own work is no longer yours when it is edited over and over.)

"Chastise the blows! Cleanse me from my wounds!

Oh you cathartic irreverence the mere insolence of what is seen in the eyes is but what I feel the most! Your mind consuming games has cost me my independence that I no longer ask for. Incompetence, defenselessness, I am no longer of your brethren for I am wrath! I consume no flesh but I consume the feelings of those who are around me.

I was once human like you but I forgot the sound of what it means to cry in the middle of the night when all I hear are the bullets ricocheting.

I was once human like you but I forgot the sight of what it means to be your guardian angel when all the demons in me have convalesced into this avatar.

I was once human like you but I forgot the smell of what the rain feels like when you're just outside because these days all I keep tasting is the blood of fallen and the innocent.

I was once human like you but I forgot the taste of indulgence when it is but a wafted air of preservation yet there is nothing to preserve.

So when my time is come, let this war be over as I know I will be too. I am not the soldier of fortune. I am a puppet of the opportunists. Undone and unclean I come to those who around me. This is war, this is not my life. The one I always wanted was to just feel the rain, enjoy the littlest guilt pleasure that even I could enjoy a guy's night out and that it is okay to cry again because I am human not of some puppet."

[Vikrantsingh]

Wow Zero thank you again for your wonderful words and your mature understanding over on this topic. It was my initial writing. Much appreciate your worth lines which you added :)
Respect it :)

Thanks again Mate :)
Singh ;)

[Zero_Edge88]

You are very welcome :) Was it? Hmm okay. Well, I may not give the grammatical or the "proper" review or feedback but I do my to knowledge and extension of what I am reading at. I don't think it's more adding, it's more like, I find it to giving an insight. I've known friends who serve and still serving.

You're welcome Sir :)

[Vikrantsingh]

Thank you so much Zero, Please don't address me Sir :)
You can call Vik/Vicky/Singh/Vikrant :)
Please not Sir :)

- Singh :)

[Zero_Edge88]

Force of habit Singh, force of habit. So my apologies :)
Take it from a guy who addresses a lot of people differently. :)

[Vikrantsingh]

It fine, But I don't want to compare myself with Sir Rabindranath Tagore or Sir Einstein. They deserve this Prefix :)
I'm more happy when ppl address me with my name ;)

Thank you Zero :)
Singh :)

P.S : I'm reviewing you poem Whew! they are so long! Need some more time to drop some better output whilst.

[Zero_Edge88]

That is true. Entitlements are indeed what they are. It is better that way indeed :)

You're welcome Singh :)

Take all the time you need, if you are referring to what I think you are reading then take all the time you need but don't forget to laugh. I mean it haha :)

[Vikrantsingh]

Yes it was way funny College times are very joyful and funny when we turn back and remember what all childish things we use to do :P Lol

- Singh :)