Queen of Hearts

Why did you say those words

I don’t know you

Why don’t you tear my heart

It’s right before you last

chance to break the chains that bind me

 

Everything hurts

I need some saving

I’m raving

Someone

to light the flame inside me

 

Never had once

to meet that smile

No guile

Where can I find

my rescued princess

 

Reviews

[Doug]

this was really good, brendan. you have some talent, and this shows it well.

i might indent "last chance" on a line between "It's right before you" and "to break the chains that bind me." i think it would give the poem greater effect. i like the words you chose as well, they express the meaning you wanted to convey, but instead of cliche phrases like tear/heart and break/chains you might use something else. i think there are other ways to say these things.

it's a very nice poem. keep writing!

Doug