August 9 - 15, 2015

This is no normal Holiday

August 9, 2015

Sunday

Dear Diary

I woke up today and just thought about my life. I was a 13-year-old boy that was sleeping in a crib. I wore diapers to bed and during the day I was dressed as a girl. I thought back to when I officially became a teenager. I planned to be cool and fall in love with Annie. What went wrong? Why was I now a baby sissy? This was not what I planned. This meant my life would be more complicated. The big question is what would I do when I went back to school!

I suppose most of my problems were small compared to billions of people that lived. I knew that billions lived in poverty and this meant it was hard enough for them to get something to eat! I have seen pictures of African children that were skin and bones and did not even have the energy to swat the flies around them. It made me cry every time I thought of some child dying from hunger. I am sure that the world produced enough food to feed us all!

I did get some great news. Dad rang to us and said that Mom recovered and was now out of the coma. On top of that, Mom would be home this week. She would have to take an easy for a while. This was the best news I had in a long time. I really missed my mom!

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August 10, 2015

Monday

Dear Diary

While we were on holiday having fun and all that, the rest of the world was doing what it usually did. Today 5 people were killed by terrorists at an airport in Afganistan. I will never understand some people. I will never understand how some people want to inflict their religion on others and think that violence would achieve peace. I will be honest, I had tears in my eyes as I saw the news. The world is such a cruel place.

It's not like I didn't have my own problems. Aunty put me in a one-piece swimming suit. It was pink with a fish in the front. She did my hair in pigtails and told me that I was like a princess. This upset Billy, that stomped out of the hotel room saying anyone can see I was a boy if they looked enough. It took me a while to think about what he meant by this.

Aunty took Sarah down to the beach and we started to build a sandcastle. Everything was fine until I saw Alberto. He looked at me for a bit and then grunted and walked away. I started crying again as I was sure he would be a good friend. He could not accept that I was different.

Do I want to be different?

Sarah put her arm around me and told me that I cry too easily. She told me that she knew I had a boy's body, but it could be a mistake from God. She liked the idea of having a little sister. I didn't know what to say about being a little sister. I was older than Sarah!

My aunt was just smiling as she saw that Sarah was being nice to me. Sarah was even praised when she told me that I could have all her old clothes.

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August 11, 2015

Tuesday

Dear Diary

I knew Billy thought that treating me as a sissy and wearing diapers was child abuse. He had this view that I was being brainwashed. Brian would say things like he could not understand how I did not just say no. He would ask me how many boys do I know that would say yes to wearing girl dresses and wearing diapers.

Aunty heard this and told us all to sit. She started by saying when we get home, we shouldn't make our mom worry. Then she looked at Billy and told him that he was being mean. She looked him in the eye and said that there are many boys that dress like a girl and many girls dress like boys. These children have gender identity problems which means that they may have a certain body, but this body does not match the identity of their gender. These children and even adults are considered transgender and despite they have the wrong body, they live like the gender they identify themselves with.

I wanted to be anywhere than listening to people discuss me. This was especially when she explained that I was most likely having a gender identity crises and I should be able to live as a girl and be a girl. Aunty finished by telling Billy and Sarah to support me!

Billy looked at me, still not accepting what was being said. I got up and said that I never expected a holiday in Greece to be like this. I told Sarah that we should go down to the pool.

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August 12, 2015

Wednesday

Dear Diary

I wonder if Annie notices that I am not there. I never did tell her that I was going on holiday. I also wondered if she wet the bed or maybe she was transgender! This made me laugh as she was too pretty to be a boy that lives as a girl.

In a way, I wanted to go home. I wanted to give mom a hug. I must also admit that I was a bit afraid of what she would say because I wore Sarah's clothes during these holidays.

There was Karaoke at the hotel that night. For once, Billy was being nice and said with my experience in the choir, I could win. He just reminded me that I was wearing a dress and tights.

I did not care. I went up to the stage and sang my heart out. I sang a song called “The Rose” by Bette Midler. It was such fun performing for other people. They praised me and stood up and clapped when I was done.

I won the competition. I can't wait to show mom the trophy

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August 13, 2015

Thursday

Dear Diary

Today we visited Greek museums. This was a strange experience. Many of the statues were missing heads or limbs and many were just naked people! Some were a bit modest and had a fig leaf. I was shocked by the statues and could not understand why some people had to make statues of naked people. Maybe they did not have many clothes back in those days. I was glad that they had clothes now!

It was strange when people praised Sarah and me for being well behaved. Many also called me Sarah's little sister. It was embarrassing that Sarah was 3 years younger than me and yet we were the same size. Now people thought that she was my big sister.

I find at times that I do not really remember the fact that I am dressed as a girl. The strange thing is that sometimes I think I am a girl. I like when people tell me that I am pretty and adorable. It is only at times when I remember that I am really a boy. Then I am close to having a panic attack and hoping they don't find out.

Imagine if people knew that I wore diapers in bed!

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August 14, 2015

Friday

Dear Diary

We were going home tomorrow. The last day on a holiday is quite sad. This hotel has become our home for 2 weeks, and now we were going back to the life we wanted to escape.

Today Alberto wanted to speak with me. He wanted to apologize for being so mean to me and judging me. He thought I had a lot of courage in dressing as a girl. He thought it was great that I didn't care about what others thought and just lived the way that makes me happy.

I tried to tell him that when we went home, I would be a boy again. I wanted to say this but Alberto said at first he did not believe I was really a boy. I decided not to argue with him. I think it took a lot of courage for him to apologize.

Alberto gave me the cutest bear I ever have seen. The bear was pink had was holding a red heart that had “friends” written on it. I decided that this was one of the best presents I ever had.

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August 15, 2015

Saturday

Dear Diary

Our holiday in Greece was now finished. It was time to go home. Of course, Aunty insisted I wear a diaper just in case I had an accident. I wore a frilly white party dress and white tights. I really did look like a small sister.

To be honest, I did not think about what I was wearing. I come to accept being a girl.  a psychiatrist said I had a girl's spirit and so did Aunty. If I did not accept it, I would fight aunty all the way. So I was not embarrassed about traveling home. I was excited because we would see mum!

We finally did come home and Dad was waiting for us. I could see him smiling until he saw me. He asked “What in the world happened to my son. Why is he wearing a dress?”

I didn't have time to answer. I started to cry and panic. My face was wet with tears as I tugged at aunts' arm and said that my teddy bear was missing.

Dad looked so confused

To be continued