4. Hard Times

My life was beginning to fall apart as the people I hurt became wiser

It could not have happened at a worse time. I was trying to regain the trust of Sarah after she found out that I was cheating on her. Now Annie revealed that she was pregnant with my child and that was the last drop for Sarah. She wanted a divorce. I did not try and challenge her. I knew how hurt she was. I totally surrendered to Sarah's demands. She had custody of the children, plus half my fortune and the Sandalwood Manor. I sure made a mess of things.

I decided that I must pull my life together. Annie was now pregnant and it took me some months to convince her that we should be married. Annie was very reluctant, as she felt as much as a victim as Sarah was. So I tried to use my charm and I tried to tell Annie that it was always her that I loved. I told her that it would be best for our child to have a father and mother. I told her lots of things. In the end, she agreed to get married, but warned me not to cheat on her and reminded me she was just doing this for her child.

I assured her that I was a changed man, I wanted a happy marriage and I loved Annie with all my heart. I could see how bad I was to Sarah, but Sarah was now a part of my past. All I wanted now was to have a quiet life with Annie.

We had a quiet wedding which was a news sensation because there were pictures of Annie with a nice pregnant tummy. Neither Sarah or my children came to the wedding. Besides all that the wedding ceremony was beautiful. We had no party afterward as my friends seemed to have disappeared after the divorce with Sarah.

The marriage itself got off to a bad start. The night of the wedding should have been a warning of what was to come. We were about to seal off our marriage vows with some romantic sex. Annie looked as beautiful as ever. She told me she did not like the idea of making love when she was pregnant, in which I assured her that it would be no problem. Annie fell for my charm once again and climbed into the bed. It was not until she saw the picture of Sarah on the bed table staring at her that she insisted that she would not have sex. She was mad that I still had a picture of Sarah beside the bed.

I was frustrated, so I told Annie that I would go out for a walk. I went to the gentleman's club and got drunk while I gambled a lot of money away. After that, I even had sex with a prostitute. This made me drink more as I was mad at myself for cheating on the first day of the marriage. Did I not have any will power on working towards being a better man, and a better husband than I was with Sarah.

Things did not help when I came home in the early hours as Annie was about to get up.

“ Why is it that I am not happy that I have married you?” She started, “ I should be happy. However, I feel like I came in second place and your love for Sarah is still dominant. I have been weak and I have been naïve all this time. I have hurt my best friend by having an affair with her husband. You have used me and manipulated me. You have conned me into marrying you, where I should have just left you out of my life. You have a lot of work to do to make this marriage work. I will not be the victim again!”

I told Annie that I changed and she could trust me. We would be happy together. The outburst she had was most likely because she was pregnant. Women can act strange when they were expecting a child. They would be so emotional and insecure. I told myself that Annie would be fine when the baby was born. I also told myself that the prostitute was a one-time thing. I had to change and be a responsible husband.

Things at Supremity were not going that well either. The next day I found that my father had disappeared while taking a lot of the shop's money with him. I sat in my office as I drank a few bottles of alcohol. It was my fault. Dad showed over and over again that he only thought of himself. He left us when we needed him the most and only came back when he saw that we were rich. Still, I gave him a job at the factory in which he turned into a slave camp. I hoped he would take responsibility and that Supremity could recover. It was obvious that I hoped too much.

The fact is that I did not understand why I hated my dad so much and yet gave him such a big responsibility. Was it because I was so much like him. I had all the bad qualities that my dad had that I disliked. I was his son in every way!

Annie gave birth to a daughter and called her Svenja. The birth of Svenja made Annie smile for the first time in months. I hoped that this meant that Annie could come back to the shop and help me save it, but Annie refused. She insisted that Svenja would not have a governess or maids. Annie would take care of all the girl's needs. This disappointed me as I really did need Annie back at the shop.

The whole scandal of slave work hurt business so hard. The shop was now losing more and more money as customers did not want to shop there anymore. My lawyers managed to keep the whole ordeal from being in court. This meant that I had to pay a lot of money in compensation. I was still rich, but 70% of my money disappeared in compensation costs, lawyer costs and the money Sarah got from the divorce.

I was not going to let this destroy what I worked so hard for. I closed the factory and sold it, using the money in a large advertising campaign, that told people that we got rid of all the corrupt people at the store and we were now back on our legs. The public apology seemed to have worked, as customers slowly came back to the store. It was now breaking even.

Annie was not so happy about the public apology. She told me people would think that she was one of the corrupt people that the shop got rid of. Annie was already mocked and treated in a negative way by the press, as she was seen as the woman that broke up a happy marriage between Sarah and me. I did not defend Annie. I thought she was overreacting. Even when she was jeered at when we were in public, I did not offer any help.

Annie begged me to help her reputation. I was still mad that she would not help at the store and blamed Svenja who could not even speak. This resulted in outbursts from Annie on why I ignored Svenja or why I did not help mend her reputation.

Annies' help came from Sarah. My X-wife wrote a letter to the newspapers asking people not to blame Annie. The long letter explained how I cheated on Sarah and at the same time used Annies' naïve and good personality to manipulate her and con her to having an affair. Sarah wrote that Annie was never fired, but resigned because she wanted to be the best mother that she could. This intervention by Sarah turned the public hatred against Annie to public sympathy. I was once again the bad guy which annoyed me. I saw this as only revenge from Sarah and could not see it as one friend helping another friend.

Sarah refused to speak with me. She refused to even be with me. She made it clear that she was out of my life. This hurt me a lot and I wanted to do anything to have Sarah as a friend. My daughters Joyce and Mara came to visit me once. To be honest I was not interested in how their lives were or did not praise them on their achievements at school. I could not see that they missed having a father and wanted some quality time with me. I asked them over and over on what their mother was doing and was she dating any man. I tried to tell them how they could persuade Sarah that we should be friends! I could not see how disappointed they were when they left. They never visited me again.

Even my friendship with Noah stopped. Noah was always a friend that told me things the way he saw them. He never packed things in cotton. He was very blunt. He told me he was happy that the shop was surviving, but he was worried it would never be the same as its glory days. After I closed the factory, I started using Noah's factory. Noah thought that the quality of the clothes I designed was very bad. He told me that I lost my muse. I lost the person that inspired my designs. I lost Sarah. I didn't see Noah after that. I kicked him out of my office.

Deep down I knew he was right. Supremity was not surviving because of me. I employed a woman named Leonie who did what Annie used to do. However, she had a difficult task. One of her tasks was to deal with me. I would sit in the office all day and drink and flirt with some girls that worked there. I would be constantly drunk.

At night I would go to the gentleman's club and gamble and drink some more. I never won a lot of money and was probably too drunk to see if I had a winning hand. I would end up in bed with some prostitute.

So much for me changing my ways. I was getting worse. It did not help that Annie was totally dedicated to Svenja and she did not have any spare time for me. When we were alone, she would complain that I was drunk and ask how much money I lost while I gambled. Then she would go on about if she could even trust me. Conversations with Annie were hard and I started considering Annie as a nagger. These conversations would usually end by me walking out of the house and seeking refuge in the gentleman's club again.

It was at this time that I started writing letters to Sarah. I would beg her to forgive me and try to convince her where we had a good marriage. Then I would beg her for friendship. These letters were several pages long and they came from my heart. I did not know if Sarah read them or not. I do know that she never replied and this made me write another letter.

I did know that marrying Annie was a mistake. It was not her fault. It was mine. Annie was the perfect mother and the perfect wife. She tried her best dealing with my depression because things were not all that well at Supremity. She even tried to understand why I drank so much and gambled. She nagged because she was worried. She was worried that I would fall dead one day or gamble what money I had left. The problem was that I could not see that she has done this because she cared.

My problem was that I did not think about others. I only thought about myself.

Annie wanted me to be more at home. She pointed out that we were more together when she was a mistress than when she was a wife. I promised I would try which frustrated her more. She did not want to hear my promises anymore. I had to show it by action. She reminded me that Svenja did not know me, and considered me a stranger. My daughter was also afraid of me. This reminded me of when I was a boy, I would be afraid of Dad when he came home and that he was drunk.

It was at this time that I met Heidi. She was the woman I had sex with when I worked as a gardener so many years before. When Sarah found us kissing, Heidi was fired and moved to Dublin. Sarah never knew that Heidi and I had sex and I never told her. I often thought about Heidi. I really hoped she was a success.

One day, she came into my office when I was half drunk. She took a bottle of champagne from her bag and told me it was party time. Then she told me that she heard I was a bad boy. I found out that she was now a party girl and actress. She lived a comfortable life. Heidi must have been the only woman that did not consider herself a victim because of me. She admitted that getting fired changed her life. Now she was famous and lived like a queen.

The next time I saw Heidi was when Annie was visiting. Heidi had a young man with her. I joked and asked if he was not a bit too young for her. Heidi was more interested in Annie and told Annie everything about our past. I could see that Annie was not smiling. Annie was looking at Heidi if she was another victim. I needed a drink.

Heidi then turned to me and said that the young man was her son. His name was Cade. She wanted him to have a nice comfortable job at Supremity. I tried explaining that we were not hiring at the moment and we had no money to employ another manager. Heidi just smiled and said that Cade was my son. It was about time that I cared for him.

Annie had tears in her eyes and stormed out of the office

To be continued