2. Supremity

I leave home and try to find success and forget Sarah

I was now 24 and moved to Dublin after my childhood crush Sarah turned down my love. It broke my heart, as I was sure that we could have been happy together. Mom gave me her life savings and told me to get out of town. I reluctantly did this with a promise that I would make my mother proud.

I rented a small shop in Dublin and spent all the money on clothes for men, women, and children. The shop's name was Supremity, as I wanted the clothes to be the best quality as well as the best prices. This was after days of walking around Dublin and seeing how much people charged for clothes.

For the next 4 years, Supermity was the only thing I thought about. I dedicated all my time to sell the best clothes that I could. It was a success and money was rolling in. I did not waste this money and expanded the shop again and again until it was one of the largest shops in Dublin. I wanted the shop to look posh and yet anyone could shop there. While I have seen that some shops just cater to the upper class, we catered for everyone.

It was at this time I met Mr. Noah. He also had a successful shop and I loved the clothes that he sold. He told me that he had a factory that produced the clothes as he designed them himself. This gave me new ambitions.

So I spent what money I had and opened a new factory where women sewed clothes. This was a huge gamble. I was not certain I could even design clothes. I just drew and used my imagination and thought of what Sarah would wear. I would close my eyes and pretend that she was walking around the garden and then draw what she wore.

I was getting stressed about the shop. I had people working for me, but I needed help to run the shop. I was running the shop, and factory while designing clothes. I was working 18 hours a day. You would think that this helped me forget Sarah. It did not. I realized that the love for her was not just a childhood crush. She was the love of my life. The problem was that it was a one-way relationship.

Noah was by now a good friend, despite I stole his idea about the factory. He had a different style so it was not like we were competitors. We inspired each other and he often gave me some ideas on how Supremity could be better.

Noah could also be serious about my social life. He told me that life is his great inspiration. His friends and his love affairs gave him the energy and ideas on how to work. He thought that I worked too much and asked me when will I settle down with a woman that I love. I told him about Sarah which Noah did not understand. He warned me that the obsession I had for Sarah would destroy me.

It was at this time that a woman came to the shop asking to work. Her name was Annie. She was so beautiful. She had the nicest dark hair that I ever have seen and she had a nice face with a beautiful smile and eyes. She had a very old dress with clean white gloves. She told me that she wanted to sell clothes, but no place would hire her as she was not a native. She came from Mexico. I could not hear any accent.

I spoke with Annie for a bit and found out that she was very intelligent. I told her that she would not be selling dresses at Supremity, I told her she would help me run the shop. She would be the manager so I could concentrate on designing clothes. This was the best decision I ever made. Annie was loved by the staff and customers, and she changed shopping to something that was an experience and fun. Her policy was to spoil the customer and make them think they got something at a great price. It was also at this time that I hired more designers.

I was now 30 years old and has more spare time. I still did not think about romance. I did think that Annie was so beautiful and had all the qualities that I liked. I did not flirt with her as I thought it would be bad mixing business and love together. Maybe I was afraid of romance. Maybe I was afraid that if I asked a woman again, I would find out that she had no feelings for me.

I figured that Supremity was my love. It was loyal and made me very rich. I even thought about opening new shops. One thing that I was sure of was that money or status would never be a problem when I did fall in love.

I never did open the extra shop. I bought a big townhouse, where I told my mother she could live with me as well as my smallest brother and sisters. Mom was so delighted that she did not have to worry about money. She was still very humble and told us that she could never be a snob. Every time I gave her some money, she gave it to the poor. I was happy that mom and my brothers and sisters bought some life into the house. This was despite that mom always lectured me on finding a wife. She would tell me that I worked too hard and how rich did I want to be?

One day, I was walking around the shop when I saw Sarah and another woman. My heart jumped when I saw Sarah. She looked more mature but still was the prettiest woman alive. I continued walking around thinking that she would not want to meet me there. I would still be the gardener boy in her eyes. I could not help but stare at her. All the old feelings I had suppressed came back to me.

As I was in my thoughts walking around the store, luck would have it that I bumped into Sarah. At first, there was an embarrassing silence between us. Then Sarah told me that she was visiting Dublin and she had to visit Supremity. She told me everyone talked about it and warned her she had to visit it. She tried to start a conversation by asking me why I was here. I told her that life has been kind to me and I owned the shop.

Sarah told me that she was not married and I admitted the same thing. We did not talk about the time I told her that I loved her. In fact, Sarah blushed when I said that I was single and told me she had to go, her father expected her home.

I was depressed once again after Sarah left. Why was I so cursed and why could I not forget her. I started going to the gentleman's club and flirted with any woman that smiled at me. I was now 33 years old, and I figured I been wasting all my life to notice that Sarah was even interested in me.

Mom was worried. She said that I was nearly like my father. I drank too much and I slept with a different woman every night. She said there was a lot of gossip about me. Some people thought I was an alcoholic while everyone thought that I was a womanizer. I told my mom that I was over 30, and I built up a successful business. It was time that I had some fun. I did not consider sex to be sacred to marriage. It was fun and it was satisfying. Mom just sighed and said sex is a sign of love. How many of these women really liked being in bed with me? Would they do the same if I was poor?

This bothered me during the next few days. The women I slept with did not sleep with me because they loved me. Did they even think I was handsome? Would they have wanted to have sex with me if I was just a gardener?

When would I ever meet someone that wanted me for who I was?

I got another shock one day when my dad suddenly came to the shop. I had not seen or heard from him in 11 years. He was proud when he saw me dressed as a gentleman and told me that he was proud that I had such a successful business. I did not know what to say to dad. He was dressed in tattered clothes and smelled like a brewery. I had mixed feelings about my father coming back. What would mom say and did he want to patch things up with her? Dad asked me for a job as he wanted to settle down. I told him he could be a janitor in the factory as things there needed to be repaired all the time. He stormed out as he expected to be a manager in the store.

He also visited mom. He wanted to forgive her and despite my best advise mom accepted his apology. She explained to me that marriage was a promise until death. It was her duty to obey her husband. I thought this was ridiculous. He lived the last decade with a woman that finally kicked him out for cheating. Would he have been back if that woman did not kick him out? Why did he not contact us for all these years?

So now I had my father living with me. Our house became a hell as he was drunk most of the time and always anger at mom. He would be mad that I did not offer him an allowance. I was frustrated and mad at him. Annie was a blessing at this time of my life. She would tell me to have hope and courage and things will end fine. Mom noticed as well how much I spoke with Annie and even asked me did I not notice that Annie had deep feelings for me? Mom said I should court Annie. The fact is I respected Annie too much. I considered her a close friend. She was not one of the women that I had a sexual relationship with. I did not want to mix business and romance.

I got an invitation to the Sandalwood party before they left Dublin. Mom warned me not to go as it would just bring back old memories. I didn't think twice about it and put on my best clothes to go to the party.

The people there were old aristocratic families while they considered me as “new money”. They were all snobs and I could see how they looked down at me, despite I most likely was richer than them. Sarah was different that night. She spoke a lot to me and kept her dances only for me. All my old feelings came back and I was once again like a puppy in love. Sarah was also different. It was like she was best friends with me. I never was so happy than I was that night. I knew that I loved Sarah and it was no puppy love. It was true love.

Sarah must have felt the same as well. She told me that she decided to stay in Dublin. She also hinted again and again that I should ask her father if I could court her. This was the most exciting thing that I ever heard. Sarah wanted me to court her. I wondered how one party would change her mind. Maybe she always had feelings for me!

Asking her dad for permission to court Sarah was the hardest thing I ever have done in my life. He knew me as a gardener and told me once that I had nothing to offer her. However, when I asked him, he smiled and said that he was proud of my success. He told me that he heard rumors that I was a womanizer and drank too much, and warned me not to hurt his daughter. I shook his hands promising that this would never happen.

So for the next 6 months, I courted Sarah. We went to theaters and parks and the different restaurants in Dublin. Sarah was the same as she was years earlier. She loved talking about what she read and was very conservative. She told me what sort of life she wanted. She wanted to be married to a man that was totally devoted to her. She wanted children that she could cherish and love. She wanted a quiet life, where she had a strong loving family.

I told Noah this one day and told her of my intention of marrying Sarah. Noah told me that it would be hard for me to settle down to a quiet life with Sarah. He told me to think about if I was in love or was it an obsession. He explained that I was very ambitious and did not like to lose. He told me the one thing I did not win in my life until now was Sarah. Noah asked me if she was the trophy I could never win or could I live the quiet life that Sarah wanted?

I was going to get married to Sarah and the day came for the marriage. Sarah never looked so beautiful and I could not believe that she was now my wife. This was like a fairytale. I was hoping that we would have a great life.

I was not wrong. Life at the start was like living in heaven. Sarah disliked living in Dublin, but she was a dedicated wife that supported me as much as she could. Things were going great at Supremity and this was mostly credited to the work Annie put in at running the shop. I would go to work and spend most of my day in the office with Annie. Working was fun as she had so much life in her and had a solution for everything.

Then I would come home and eat dinner with Sarah and my mother. We would spend our nights looking in the fireplace while I drew new designs for clothes and Sarah would read a book. Dad would never be home. We would hear him much later coming home drunk as could be.

I tried helping Dad for the sake of my mother. I gave him the job of running the factory and I must admit that profits increased from the factory. I did not have to visit it, as Dad was a good manager. I admit that I also did not want to see him.

Seven years after I was married, my mother died. This was devastating for me and would change my life. Dad didn't even come to the funeral. I spent the next few weeks depressed. This was when I started playing cards and gambling at the gentleman's club. I was trying to get over my mother's death and the risk of gambling gave me a new high.

I should have been content with my life. At 41,  I had a successful business and a dedicated and loving wife that gave me 3 children. Lila, Joyce, and Mara were born over the years and ensured there would always be activity in the house.

The problem was that I did not notice them. I started drinking and gambling and hardly ever seen my children. I could not be at home. It reminded me so much about my mother.

The only time I was happy was at the club or work. Annie was always cheerful and did her best to make me interested in the business. Once I was in such a good mood at the profits were record high that I got up from my desk and caught Annie's hands and swung around the room. We ended up on the floor and I gave Annie a passionate kiss.

This went on for some time until Annie slapped me across the face and said, “This is wrong. Sarah is my friend! What would your wife say?”

How would I explain this to Sarah?

To be Continued