Consequences

A poem that for some reason has a very distinct melody in my mind. Perhaps a song rather.

It was cold here, in this darkened room.
She didn't belong here, inside this stone tomb.
She couldn't get out, find her way to light.
She was trapped here, in perpetual night.

The last thing she remembered, were headlights.
Bearing down the freeway, blurring her sight.
She heard the sounds of screams, but didn't know from where.
They must have been from her, as it was her laying there.

She vaguely remembered, her mother at her side.
She never saw her father, was he there when she died?
As she tried to recollect, the missing bits of time.
The pain all flooded over her, like a poets words of rhyme.

She felt the very agony, that she felt that day.
She smelled the scent of perfume, alcohol of choice they say.
She heard the screams of her best friend, flitting through the air.
What she wouldn't give to go back to, that day and she'd take care.

But instead she's locked inside, this cold and lonely vault.
Destined for eternity, to realize her faults.
Forced to live with memories, of pain and of despair.
Loss she gave to everyone, because she didn't care.

Moral of the story, sad as it is true.
Please do unto others, as you would have done to you.
Think of consequences, of your actions in due time.
Before you take a life, that wasn't yours to decide.

Reviews

[Chris]

It is a rough rhythm when read aloud. A good story-piece. I wonder the "tune" of your intent...

[Victoria Mae]

It is rather rough if you try to read it aloud. Which I think is in part to having some sort of melody in my head as I tried to write it. I do that from time to time, especially if I'm having difficulty writing. Things take a more song approach which just doesn't translate well.

[Chris]

Poetry IS music in the finest sense... an aural artform. the tones flow and draw and swirl. Sometimes I can feel the sound - other times I live the sound. I read all poetry aloud - it deserves no less. For this one, I did pick up on the song-intent and hence part-commented toward the melody echoing in the background.

[Jack Wolfe]

This indeed had a bit of a melody to it, and the message is very clear and concise. When one goes to their grave, will they look upon their faults, their transgressions and be content with their actions; sadly, I doubt it, but we can strive to accomplish that goal nonetheless. I found this while looking for new material to read, and I'm glad I did. Nice work.

[Victoria Mae]

Thank you :)