A Final Goodbye

The words of one a their end with no one to stop them

                I could apologize, but what would that mean to you?  There's absolutely nothing you could do about it, so don't bother blaming yourself.  All of this had to end somewhere, and so I ended it where it started.  If it's not obvious, it started with me. 

                Let's face it, suicide is a selfish thing to do.   But we also have to face another reality, and that is that humans are innately selfish, no matter what.  Oh, there's always the argument that we're selfish for other people, wanting the best for them, but really: we are selfish.  End of story.  So if you're enraged at my selfish act, don't forget how many times you've acted selfishly.  Let's not be quick to judge.

                And maybe I'm not only selfish, but insensitive.  Maybe I don't care.  So I'm hurting others as the cost for a little relief.  Does it really matter?  In reality, if they never knew, they'd never worry.  Ignorance is truly bliss, my friends, because knowledge is the heaviest burden you can bear. 

                In the end, it all comes back to self-loathing.  I hate myself, and it consumes me day and night, even when I feel as if I haven't a care in the world, I still hate myself for being so happy.  Everything comes back to self loathing, self hatred, self destruction.  And trust me, one day that destruction will be complete.  Today.

Author's Note

Honest opinion on rhetoric and content is appreciated.

Reviews

[Marianne]

Hi Ky ~ I'm not sure what to say...sorry.
You seem to be pondering the motive and result of suicide...not your own, I hope !

And there is always hope, if we are willing to have faith in the love of God and the love of people around us. Self-loathing may well be the result of abuse, but also an intense interest in self, as you pointed out.
Self-esteem often results in self-sufficiency, a kind of independence that only cares about one's own happiness...to heck how it affects other people. God-esteem is the secret to a life worth living, in my opinion.

I remember this post somehow ~ if you need to talk about what troubles you, you are most welcome to send me a message !!

Love, Marianne

[Arabdha]

i agree..ignorance is truly bliss because knowledge is the heaviest burden one can bear..and even though wanting out might seem a selfish thing to do..sometimes its better than suffering in silence..but we all have our lives and pain to live through..and even though wanting out may be the easier option..we go for the morally right one..and that takes a lot of courage..

[Peter Joseph Swanson]

Powerful!