Solace of Silence

An internal journey through conflicting emotion

I want to ask what happened.  I want to know if this is just a phase.  I want to understand what you mean.  I want to see you again.  I want to hug you and make sure you're real.  I want to know you're okay, and alive.

 

What happened? But if I ask that, you'll be angry.  I know you will.

 

Will you explain?  What do you mean?  That would earn me more condescending talk, and I've had all of the emotional abuse I can stand for a while. 

 

So I guess the only thing left to say is I love you.  Big bunches.  But if I say that, I have to say I hate you.  You always put me through so much, and cause me so much stress.  Yes, I hate you.

 

The only question now is whether I love you more than I hate you….or if I hate you more than I love you.  Why do hate and love come so obsessively intertwined?  Why do tears and joy always come in the worst ways?

 

I can't take it anymore!

 

You're putting bullets through me!  Every time we speak, a bullet.  A rip, a hole, a wound!  Why?!  Am I just collateral damage?!  Will you ever have the mind to give a straight answer, not one that brings us so much strife and bickering and….

 

Oh, this is awful.  Awful.  Just awful.

 

I won't say anything though.  I'll pretend, because I know how much you hate it when I get frustrated.  I know how childish I will always be to you.  Maybe one day things will change.  But for now…

 

Solace is in silence.

Author's Note

Honest opinion on rhetoric and content is much appreciated