Ode to Innocence

My first sonnet written when I was a Sophomore in college. It is one of the sonnets in my first book of poems, On Pain and Ecstasy (C) 2011.

Ode to Innocence

Oh half remembered, fleeting, happy time,
When nothing mattered more than love and play,
Imagination was then in its prime,
And life began anew with every day.

A flower then a joy, a mystery,
And not a petal, root and simple stem,
And life was full of wondrous fantasy,
Untainted by the intellect of man.

That time is gone now; it cannot return,
The fruit's been swallowed; its slow poison kills,
And yet my fallen heart will always yearn,
For that most happy time of unknown skills.

Oh false god, knowledge, daily you destroy,
All that was holy in me as a boy!

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Greetings, Victor 🌾
My name is Richard … with a happy smile, I welcome you to the Café!

Your title grabbed my gentle side, your intro as a Sonnet caught my mind's-eye. I even felt my spirits lift, because the Sonnet is among my favorite forms to read and compose in.
Used to be, the English [Shakespearean] Sonnet was a must form for every burgeoning poet to learn, but nowadays it's thought to be rather archaic by most. And, though this may be your first English Sonnet, it is beautifully rendered in smoothly flowing iambic pentameter, spot-on abab rhymes (except the soft rhyme of V2, L2/L4, and the V3 volta/turn is excellent, as your heroic couplet wraps it all up perfectly.

Check V2, L1 for count and meter:
a FLOWer was THEN a JOY, a MYSteRY, (11-count, and "-er was" is trochaic)
(easy fix example)
a FLOWer THEN was JOY, a MYSTeRY, (10-count)

But, oh-BOY! I love the days you took us back to … those naïve days of youthful callow bliss. Oh, how I often yearn to somehow keep their fondness alive in my nature and memory. Your storytelling, flowing poetic syntax, vivid imagery, expressively creative metaphor, and emotive ambiance bring it all alive through a captivatingly easy rhythm.
It does my olde, bardic heart good to come across another sonneteer at the Café … I hope you'll make us your new home.

Thank you sincerely, Victor, for sharing this stellar Sonnet! ⁓ Richard🖌

Here's one of mine you might enjoy:
LIFE'S SONG
https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1805226/

[Victor D. Lopez]

Hi Richard,

Thank you for your most kind and generous review. It is by far the most detailed, thoughtful and helpful review I've ever received for my poetry or fiction. And I will make the suggested change as soon as I send this reply.

I wrote this sonnet in about 15 minutes while listening to my favorite professor lecture during one of the Shakespeare courses I took as an undergraduate. He suggested we try to write a Shakespearean sonnet to appreciate the difficulty of working within the tight structure of meter and rhyme. I did so as he continued to lecture but never showed it to him. It is my first and still probably my favorite, perhaps because I am much older but little wiser.

I look forward to reading your work. Too few people write in the traditional forms these days (or, for that matter, paint or sculpt little the old masters would call art in our egocentric world).

Thanks again for your kind words and generous critique. Alas, it speaks more to your talent than it does mine, but I am very grateful for it.

[Richard🖌]

A distinct honor, Victor 🌿

[Samuel Dickens]

Excellent--I like it very much. Eloquently spoken and oh so true, the thoughts mirror my own. Much of my writing takes place in the past, so this has great appeal.

[Victor D. Lopez]

Thank you very much for your feedback. Much appreciated. (Much of my writing is also focused on the past, including my first novel.)