Evlogetaria For the Dead

Supposed hymn that assembles peace ‘Tween shattered pieces within my soul. Instead I watch some fellows sob, at least; Content am I to mock their throe. For their tears flow not through piney grains, Like mine, whose drops then splash the floor. They wipe drenched eyes and dab white cheeks, While mine bathe the sands on Deathbed’s beach. Their salty feet are kissed with foam, Having stepped in just an inch, Compared to me, who deep at sea, Under waves so high, I'm losing air, That whate’er they cry I drown much more…

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Silent tears, but there is a tsunami of emotion welling up inside. You show this so well in your writing. Some people break down, others suffer from within. It matters not, the grief tells a story of what the deceased meant. The loss here is noted and felt by this reader.

Chris

[NFA]

It's what I know best. For the time, in which the feeling was stronger, has since passed, but I try to call upon its pain to remember what life feels like. Hopefully, my work has the same effect on those reading. Thanks for always taking time to read my work, Chris!

[Ada]

You are definitely a clever wordsmith who manages to make a simple assemblage of words do complex things to your reader but it's clear what this piece means to you and your loss is definitely felt. Excellent

[NFA]

Thank you for this, Ada. Your honest reviews greatly help me.

[Mary Jain]

When the thoughts and feelings are well balanced in the lines, it's always going to strike the readers' minds.

[NFA]

Thank you for giving this a look, Mary Jain.

[Unspoken poet]

silent tears hurt the worse, this is deep and emotional. nicely expressed

[NFA]

I'm glad it touched you. Thanks for leaving a comment!

[Writergurl]

Having stepped in just an inch,
Compared to me, who deep at sea,
Under waves so high, I'm losing air,
Yet whate’er some cry
I drown much more…

I really like these lines, having depression I can kind of understand this write, nicely written and expressed

[NFA]

Thanks for always appreciating the lines! Always a pleasure to read your comments.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Some show sorrow, but others feel it deeply inside and drown in it.
I had these tears twice and it was over the same person...she died in a fire, best friend.
and when I was at her funeral, I was too busy taking care of her boyfriend, ex boyfriend, best friend, mother and father to have time to grieve...it has slowly oozed out for many years since 1984 when it happened.
This poem brought sadness but also the softly comforting memory of her, so thank you for that.
j.

[NFA]

Many condolences for your grieving for your friend. I'm glad this touched you like that, though. I'm glad my goal was realized. Essentially, it is a reconnection with our own personal feelings of grief and sorrow. Happy you noticed that. Thanks for always coming around, Jacob.

[M. J. Smith]

A spirit of the deceased. Eerie words pondering the despair of the afterlife. These are my thoughts at first blush. Of course, I could be wrong. Interesting thoughts.

[NFA]

Not exactly, but thanks for your thoughts, M.J. Always a pleasure having you come around!

[NFA]

Actually, I really like that interpretation. I see what you mean now. I guess however way you read it, dead or alive, you're still comparing your subjective pain to that of those you see others experiencing.