Because The Night

I grow wild, young and bewitching 

One of many, I'm a dark rose

I glow in the dawn of your love 

Come to me and touch me 

 

I whisper slowly monstrosities 

That sound deliciously sweet to your ears

Such kissable petals I wear

But deadly toxic to the first bite

 

So fragile at the first sight 

Drink my poisonous tears

Bloody venom that will kill you 

Oh come to me baby 

 

Secretly my core wishes 

A storm could crack my stem 

Feel my spines piercing my life 

And fade away in my own trap 

 

But shush, it's a secret 

While I take your soul away

You will bow to my innocence, much... 

In the end, I'm only a dark rose

Author's Note

Thank you for the editing of fireblossom for this poem.

Reviews

[misha]

This was such a haunting piece. You did a great job on this!

[Crimson1]

demure, obedient souls collapse quickly in our world. Thank you for putting something intangible in certain women that I've marveled over for years into a coherent piece of art :)

[Autumn]

Thank you so much for your review :) i'm glad you liked it!

[Mercedes Sanchez]

i love this poem, i feel like the rose has almost like a human spirit in it, a very dangerous and wild woman.

[Admiral Kirk]

This poem is deep and powerful, terrifying in a way, and deeply touching. Yet it's about a flower. Excellent work!

[Autumn]

Thank you very much! Really appreciate it

[Admiral Kirk]

:D No problem... It was worth my time.

[Distant horizons]

Beautifully captured. I can almost hear you reading this in a whispering tone, seductive and alluring, despite the warning you give. Very well done.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

powerful, menacing, and deeply provocative.......loved it!

[S. Michael Long]

AHA!.. a brilliant writer! well written beautiful form, nearly iambic. I don't know if you like suggestions or not, so if you do not please disregard the following: In the first stanza second line you have an opportunity to add ownership of your words.. you are able to say: I Am A dark rose.. without messing up the flow or reason of the words, however I'm VS. I Am, displays power and ownership of what you are trying to convince readers. In the second stanza, first line, i would have used a word that enforces the power or influence of the monstrosities in this way.. "i whisper (thickly) (fowl) (pure) (fallow) anything that emphasizes your point is better than saying slowly... slow is a directive of laziness, which i know you did not mean. In the 3rd stanza second line, you re-use the emphasis of poison, or poisonous or toxic.. i would not change the word however i would emphasize it in that line i think if you said, Drink, or Swill, My Poison "laced" tears, it would add measure to the influence you are portraying.. then in the 4th, o come to me MY baby.. shows ownership.. vs..choice.. (: wonderfully written poem.. remember.. its great the way it is.. otherwise.. i would not have given my advice (: keep it up! -s

[Autumn]

Thank you very much for your review! I'll take into considaration your advices :)

[Cosmic kid]

Very emotional and detailed. I love the frightening imagery that's portrayed.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

nice, like the slight dark eroticism of it and the beauty that seems to bleed through

[writing mojo]

a very figurative poem, and the style is as good as the correct placed imagery, a well thought out verse in a dark tempo...good stuff