Wish

Beginning of story, will be doing chapter by the three main characters. You will see what I mean when I go through the story

The bell that ended lunch rang five minutes ago. I was so late, again. I know my art teacher Mr. Finnely never appreciated my tardiness. It’s not like I do it on purpose, I actually have responsibilities.  My father has been sick for the majority of my life; I try and help as much as I can. My mother however left us a few years ago when money got tight, she couldn’t handle our state of poverty. So it’s always my dad and me, plus the countless doctors and funeral directors. Sometimes I wonder how my father can be so calm about the subject.

 

I was running down the hall to Mr. Finnely’s class, knowing it has already started. Almost slamming myself into his door, I skid myself to a stop and knock. After a waiting a moment the door opened and Mr. Finnely was there, he did not look happy to see me on the other side of his door.

 

“After class.” Was all he said.

 

I nodded, and went to my seat; eyes were on me so I kept my head down facing the ground. I sat down and got out a drawing pad from my messenger bag.

 

“As I was saying, I have a project for everybody.” Mr. Finnely said.

 

Most of the class groaned at the mention of work, I did as well. Trying to balance work, school, and my father has been a challenge. I’m late to school almost every day, I am close to being fired at Books-A-Million. My father feels that I should just give up on him, and let him die in peace. He has cancer, and the doctors said that there is no chance of survival. He informed us this information six months ago and my father has accepted his fate, I haven’t. My father has discussed with me about his Will, and already has burial arrangements; I cried that day.

 

"It's a scrapbook I want everybody to make, make it about your self and your family history. Do some digging, find out what your family is really about; be an explorer."

 

Looking at the class now I wonder what would be occurring if my father wasn't sick. Would my old friend Emill still be my friend? Would my mother still be with us? Would I be happier? Then I turn my head to the front of the class and looked at my ex-best friend. Emill was my best friend since we were children, a few people thought we were dating because of our close relationship. It had gotten rather annoying to him that rumors started about us. He had gotten mad because he felt he could never get a girlfriend, with our gossip-loving school; so slowly but surely he began to drift away from me. When I realized I lost a good friend, I didn't have time to even care. My father needed me, he became my first priority. 

 

“Now I really want you to think and look deep down yourself when you make this scrapbook, be creative. When I look at these scrapbooks I want to feel like I have walked a mile in your shoes. Do not take this assignment lightly; this is a major test grade. Remember, your seniors and this is make-it-or-break-it time.” Mr. Finnely announced.

 

Mr. Finnely stood in front of the class with his everyday button-down solid colored shirt. Today he wore a light blue button-down and dark blue jeans. His ties however, are his trade mark; wearing random ties or as he puts it "crazy ties". Currently he's wearing a retro style tie, with a disco globe at the bottom.

 

Nobody has a problem with Mr. Finnely, has an easy going personality; but we know not to take advantage of him. With his military buzz cut and notable constant serious face, we choose not to take a chance with our back talk. When students feel they should challenge him, most back down by the time Mr. Finnely walks to he/she's desk.

 

"When is this scrapbook due?" Thayer Gonzalez asked.

"Well if you actually do it, Mr. Gonzalez and make an effort the project will be due in a months time." Mr. Finnely eyeing.

 

Thayer Gonzalez is the kind of person you never want to introduce your parents to, he would probably laugh at them and walk away. You would think that he changed into this kind of person, but he has actually been like this for as long as I have known him. Sadly this school wanted me to be tortured by Thayer, so they put all of our classes together. Eight hours. 

"I expect you all to do more than your best." Mr. Finnely said

Which for this class means cut and paste from a magazine. The bell for our next class, and Mr. Finnely eyed me, saying stay in my seat. The students in my class left, except me.

 

Mr. Finnely stood at his desk and shuffled through papers, till he got a slip of pink paper. He went towards my desk as I sank in my seat waiting further for my punishment. He took the seat In front of mine and put the pink slip in front of me. I read the headline of the paper," Saturday School Detention."

 

Oh great, our schools version of punishment.

 

" Okay, Wish I understand your situation, no I haven't been through what you are but I understand."

 

I nod, I rather not talk at the moment.

 

" What I want for you is to comes to all your classes on time, especially mine." He said in a stern voice.

 

" I will make this deal with you. If you are on time to my class and all your classes I will not make you go to Saturday school. Do we have an agreement?" He asked in a rushed tone. Probably because I need to go to my next period class.

 

"Yes." Nothing else I could say.

 We both stood up and shook hands.

 

" I expect you here in my class before the tardy bell rings."

 

" Yes sir." I said and walked out of class.

 

I didn't want to think about this, on top of everything else I have to deal with. I hated this.

 

I walked into my next class with more than a mountain of stress on my shoulders. Thank God I wasn't late, I really couldn't afford to be late anymore. Walking slowly to my seat I didn't see a foot slide out in the middle of the isle, making me trip. Gaining back  whatever balance I lost I looked back at the culprit, Thayer Gonzalez.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this story two years ago. I found it and realized what lazy product I made. So I re-wrote the story and changed many, many things up. Enjoy.

~!Be Your Own Hero!~

Reviews

[kealan]

I haven't read first person in ages and I really enjoyed this. I'll definitely be continuing with this hopefully with more constructive words next time.

[Viki Rachel]

Okay, besides the minor grammar mistakes, the story is great so far. You get a solid insight into the main character's world and her troubles at home. This was an enjoyable chapter.

[Viki Rachel]

I'm not done!
-"What I want from you is to comes" should be "What I want for you is to come" (Just a little typo, I'm sure)
-"On top of everything else I had to deal with I hated this" You need a period between "with" and "I"
-"I really can't afford to be late" The "can't" needs to be changed to past tense like everything else, therefore should be a "couldn't"
That's all I could find.

[Viki Rachel]

You said be cruel, and so I will.
-You need to make "Doctors" into "doctors"
-You need to correct "gossip loving" into "gossip-loving" (hyphens always matter!)
-You mispelled: *arrangements (you spelled it as arraingments or something of the sort)
-"Remember your seniors" should be "Remember, you're seniors"
-"Well if you actually do it Mr. Gonzales" A comma is needed in between "it" and "Mr."
"Thayer Gonzales is the pretty much a person" Needs rephrasing.
-Eight hours needs to have a period at the end.

[WayOath]

Sounds like the art teacher has a huge stick up his a*s. I mean, surely she could explain the problem to him and he would back off. But then again this is a story and things work in mysterious ways. Besides, some teachers are just jack offs. :P Anyhow, I like the first person pov, really shows your characters true colors. Gonna keep reading, great job on this so far :P

[Eidolon Michael]

It seems good so far. A few punctuation errors, but that's about it. I like where it could go later on. Hurry up and write chapter two ^_^