The End

A later on event

" There is nothing left in her, she's practically dead!" Samantha yelled.

Derek lowered his head in defeat, and let out a sigh.

" Why did you do it?" Jessica asked.

He started walking away.

" Where are you going?" Samantha yelled.

They ran after him and tried to stop him, grabbing his shoulder and trying to pull him back, but just shrugged it off. He was heading toward his car, they were on his tail, but when he reached his car he turned and asked "Are ya'll coming?"

"Where?" Jessica asked

"Sarah's." was all he said

They hurried to the car and slide into the backseats. He started the car and drove. Fast.

" What are you going to say to her?" Samantha asked

" I don't know."

" That's perfect." Jessica mutterd

He started driving even faster, they got to her house a moment or so, and saw that he truck was there. She's home. We all get out of the car and walked up to the front door and pushed the door bell. As they waited nobody came to the door, but then there was a loud crash. Samantha grabbed the door knob and twisted, the door was unlocked. They walked in and felt the atmosphere change.

Bang!

They all jumped, the sound was coming from the other side of the house, they started walking toward the sound.

Bang!

They started to realize that the sound was coming from her room, walking down the narrow hall they began to get scared.

Bang!

They waited for the sound when they were in front of her door, but it never came, they grabbed the knob twisted it and opened the door. The first thing we looked at was the floor there was alot of clutter, books, papers, cd, etc.

Then we saw her in the corner of her room, we all let out a scream.

 

Reviews

[Voice11]

I don't get much of this but both parts seem very interesting! I was hooked! I hope to be reading more of this!

[WayOath]

Sad that this was the end. Lol, I thought there would be more! I'm joking but the ending thing at the beginning is really intriguing and makes the reader want to read on to know what leads up to the end, very good format for a novel. The only thing I suggest is adding life to your words and be "flowery" as teachers call it, with the details. Play it up as much as possible, it builds climax and imagery. Very awesome start. Love it!

I got paparazzi stuck in my head :P

[*Always be Me:)*]

very nice!!!!! good job, keep it up! :)

[Eidolon Michael]

Ooooh, great start! It really pulls you in! I love it! I think you should just try adding some detail to the characters, such as hair color, eye color, height, ect. Other than that, it was great ^_^