To MeMe: Variations

From a 55-word exercise in my CW class. The first sentence is 10 words, the second is nine, and so on. The second one is the re-write. I strayed from the exercise word count a bit.

Variation #1:

My sister cries every Sunday when I leave for school. Red, whimpering, she wraps her tiny arms around me.  I coo and kiss away her hot tears. How can I tell her the truth?  Throughout her life people will leave.  It's a fact of life.  But she is young.  She gets attached. Sweet child.  Goodbye.

 

Variation #2:

My sister cries every Sunday when I leave for school.  Red and whimpering, she wraps her tiny arms around my neck.  I coo and kiss her soaked cheeks thinking, "How can I tell her the truth?  Throughout her life people will leave.  Some will not even bother to give their goodbyes before disappearing."

 

But she is young and does not know any better.

 

She gets attached.

Author's Note

Think the second attempt is an improvement? All comments and suggestions are appreciated. Thanks for reading!