A Kiss by Dusk

It's hard to describe. The words speak for themselves. Also found in my book: Wandering Wonderings of a Weary Walker

A dying sun fades, and a pale moon rises. The cycle continues day to day, night to night. It's inevitable, unstoppable, undeniable. The colours flash beyond the scene,, bright and yellow,, vivid and green,,, as this is how the tide of time flows, creating a portrait,, in landscape edition,,, confusing the rule followers, and inspiring the creative apostles. The life does not come from the black or white,,,, no,, it comes from the in between; the grey,,, the area that few dare to tread,, and even fewer dare to dwell. It is nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide. Hold fast to yourself and place your trust in your step,,, nothing can harm you here. It is a connection: a marriage,, a bonding between the yin and yang,,, bringing balance as it goes along, crossing its lights and changing its theme. The bear of the sun has set, and the moon of the wolf has risen, and it is food.. Food for thought. Thought of anything, thought of everything, thought of nothing,,, all at once. The untamable sea of the mind rages and calms,, operating on its own time, its own desires. You cannot control such a beast, nor should you want to. Its self thought, autonomy, sovereignity,,, is not something to disturb, such things never are. Seek not to control, only to guide: for guidance is the key to a connection, a bond,, and control is the key to death,, to destruction. Such as it has always been. Leadership leads to love, ownership leads to ruin. These revelations sing true as you witness the sun guide its colours down, and the moon guide its colours up,,, exchanging a kiss known as dusk.

Author's Note

I use a weird comma technique. The repeated ones are there on purpose to add to the breaks in writing, don't worry.

Reviews

[Red3Bravo]

Pretty cool, but I think you might be better off trading multiple commas for line breaks. Right now the format feels a little cluttered, and I feel like that seeps into the poem somehow. I feel like that's contrary to what you want here when you're talking about heavenly bodies floating in open sky. A more open and airy format might fit better, or just something less dense. Substance-wise you have a whole lot going on, and I think it's pretty good.