Sleepless

As I sat atop the old stone water tower
The sun began to fade
Slowly, ever so slowly
And to only my dismay

Exhaustion takes them over
And slowly they succumb
To the tempting warm embrace
Many travel to their happy place

But only should they stay awake
They'd see the truth indeed
Night time is not a happy place
Just a place of misery

The quiet amplifies the thoughts
To an ear piercing decibel
Floating in poisonous circles
It's leaves the mind unstable

The pain is indescribable
And only begins to fade
When the sun comes up
Slowly, ever so slowly
For a time the pain has gone away

Reviews

[Mitchell Baker]

"The pain is indescribable
And only begins to fade
When the sun comes up
Slowly, ever so slowly
For a time the pain has gone away"

This stanza certainly speaks to an insomniac who often finds himself lost in a black hole of thoughts at 3 AM. I like where this is coming from and I love the voice in your writing!

[Chase]

I tend to prefer poetry with inverted sentance structure so this was a pleasant piece. I see a few spots that could use touch ups but I'm sure that you yourself will see them if ever you decide to rework this piece.

[Gaston Villanueva]

"The quiet amplifies the thoughts
To an ear piercing decibel
Floating in poisonous circles
It's leaves the mind unstable " this was my favorite stanza

The words you used like dismay, exhaustion, misery, poisonous, etc. really help set the tone of the poem
Nice job!

[Misery]

A beautifully crafted poem, dear Veronika.
You have filled this creation with mood and emotion. You began with imagery of isolation and smoothly transitioned into setting a mood and conveying emotion. Well done.

[micky]

amazing piece I could relate due to insomnia loved the flow and the Rhythm