May 27th, 2013

May 27^th, 2013

Lately, School had been moving slower, the sweet promise of summer taunting me beyond the beige walls of this boring cage. Math class, though, to say the least, was somehow slowly sucking my soul away, one silent sob at a time. I hadn’t a clue as to what we were even doing. For months I had simply been copying notes and pretending to work on worksheet after worksheet. As consequence, of course, only a chaotic mirage of numbers registered in my slow, over heated brain. My blank gaze settled on the page before me, lined with the numerous questions I was to finish by the end of this period, and with a quick glance at the clock, my hand raised of its own accord.

“May I use the washroom,” was what I said to the balding man before me, but my head screamed, ‘Get me out of here!’ Distantly I hear his disappointed yes. He knows as well as I that I don’t have use any toilet, but rather escape, if only for a while. Walking down the seemingly never-ending hallway, I let my eyes un-focus and watch as the world goes blurry. I look at a smudgy face as I slip into one of those. Sometimes they’ll begin for no reason in particular, just because I guess. These random mood swings that leave me in no mood at all. Like looking in on a one-sided window, you can see everything in-front of you, but you’re not actually apart of what you’re seeing.  And even though something amazing might be happening on the other side of the glass, your interest is only held for a second before you go blank, and simply stand like a dead man, with nothing else to do.

All I saw was a world I didn’t belong in. Like being kicked out of a club, I closed in and simply looked out on the rest of people. Who knows why I get like this. Lack of human interaction, loneliness, dehydration? The mood passed quickly as I retook my seat and started a class countdown. Just a few seconds had gone by and yet the memory of that feeling was already fading into the collection of lost junk, swimming around in my brain. I shuddered, earning a concerned look from Sammy, my child hood friend.  Waving her off, I sat waiting for hel- I mean math class to burn out. And yet, with the mood gone, something still seemed off. The picture of a pool slowly being drained, occupied my mind. I watched until the pool was empty. Or so I thought, but there at the deepest part was a puddle. A piece of that feeling, left behind.