Genesis

 

I know he's watching me.  I can feel his eyes on me constantly, even while I sleep.  Outside, I can see that same white car parked at the curb.  And he's there watching, waiting.  I know I'm next.

 

The police don't believe me.  They say the pieces don't fit.  But it's a puzzle I created.  And the only way to finish the puzzle is to kill me.  He has no choice.  I left him with no choice.

 

I'm an end to the murders.  After me they'll be no one else to kill.  It will be done.  He'd find peace.  But I don't want him to find peace.  I don't want the killing to stop.  There's so much impurity.  Theirs.  His.  Mine.  We all must be cleansed.  The blood will cleanse us.  Our blood.  So it must be spilled.  And he must do the shedding.

 

I know his secrets as I knew theirs, the ones he killed before.  And if I die, the secrets die with me.  I can't let that happen.  I can't die.  But I must.  Although I won't.  I'm immortal.  That is my secret.  That was their secret.  It is his secret.  I was them before I became what I am now.  And now I've tainted another soul.  So he must kill me, even though he can't.

 

I should make it stop.  But I can't.  I love the chase.  The chance that he could catch me.  The sweet satisfaction in knowing he won't.

 

I'll just leave this body and harvest another.  Then another.  And another.  And he'll be watching, waiting.  And when this body is dead the police will wish they'd listened.  They'll be looking for him then.  But they won't find him.  And even if they did, he'd kill them.  He'd kill anyone to get to me.  And he'll have to. 

 

He'll have to kill everyone.

 

Reviews

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It's an interesting conundrum: immortals *must* die. Or *must* destroy one another. It is, as Twilight (and its infinite spinoffs) has demonstrated, a very popular notion.

I haven't read Twilight--perhaps someday I will. I'll be interested in what the author does to gin up this notion. Is vampyrism so heinous that to protect its secrets those who are vampires destroy each other to guard it? The entire genre is, I think, rife with contradictions. But my girlfriend assures me that a good Ann Rice read will settle all of them. We'll see.

Your piece has very good narrative flow, and many great hooks: short sentences, quick paragraphs, lots of mystery. Murder. Suspense. All are very difficult to master.

The best to you and your work. I look forward to reading more soon!