Chapter :1 What the Dickens?

Flying armies of monkeys, England is in turmoil, and a poor metal man is left out in the cold. What is going on here?

"Ya know I wonder why they call it beauty sleep. I think because they haven't met you you. Clearly it doesn't work."
A young man opened his eyes to see two emerald greens staring straight back at him. He lifted his chin a little and licked the tip of her nose. Shrieking she gave him a open palmed smack across his cheek.
"Eew gross!"
Jumping to her feet she hopped off the bed and rubbed her nose furiously. The young man rose to his feet and checked his cheek in the bathroom mirror.
"Serves you right ya know."
"Nice."
"What?"
"You left quite the impression."
"Really?"
She walked over to him to see her "hand"iwork. Sure enough there was a bright red hand print on his cheek, and was still warm as the blood continued to rush to the impacted cheek. She put her arm around him and giggled. As soon as she removed her arm and began to walk away he pulled his hand back and stopped short before she turned around.
"Don't even think about it Cameron."
Grinning like a Cheshire cat he looked at her feigning hurt.
"You don't trust me anymore."
"Not after that little fiasco involving yer tongue and my poor nose."
"Hey you liked it Kat. Go on admit it."
She stuck her tongue out at him and turned around. He shrugged and he fished around in his dresser looking for nothing in particular. After he finally pulled out a black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans he then began to pull down his pants when she turned back around to say something.
"Whoa why didn't ya warn me?"
"Warn you about what?"
"You pulling down yer britches. Are ya trying to frighten me?"
"Sorry I don't give free shows, so consider this a sneak peek."
He turned around and shook his a*s at her. While his back was turned she grabbed a cane from beside the door and was about to swing until he turned around. All he could do was stare at the cane in her hand. Quickly he resumed pulling on his jeans followed by sliding the shirt on over his head. Once clothed he continued to stare at her again in disbelief.
"Please spare the rod and spoil the child."
"You would have done it to."
"That is irrelevant Kat, for I don't use weapons on you."
They both burst out laughing and she tossed the cane on to the bed. She turned and walked out through the bedroom door with him close in tow.

Down the hall she walked into the kitchen and he stood in the living room watching the morning report.
"Disaster strikes as legions of what appear to be playing card soldiers march on the Parliament building in Britain. Taking the Queen and all of Parliament hostage. Flying overhead the city of New York is what looks to be a woman on a broom stick followed by what appears to be monkeys with wings."
A crash could be heard from the kitchen and a flurry of words flew forth in an unintelligible cloud. She came out and looked him in the eye in disbelief.
"You can not be serious."
"I'm afraid that all of this is real."
She looked at the television as formations of spades and clubs stood guard outside the gates of Buckingham Palace. All of this seemed pretty out there but it was clear as day on the screen. They walked out the front door of their apartment and down the hall to the elevator. As they boarded she shrieked and started looking around herself. As the door shut they could hear what sounded like singing behind them.
"And the mome raths outgrabe."
Behind them was a cat or at least the body of a cat with a large fluffy tail. Upon further inspection they found that it was actually standing on its head. Which left only one answer as to who made Kat squeal: Cheshire Cat.
"Alright this is really too much. First it's flying monkeys and now I have a cat grabbing my a*s."
The cat or at least the body of it jumped off its makeshift step stool and picked it up. After placing it back on its shoulders Cheshire Cat smiled so wide that it was a miracle that the head was still in one piece.
"It's a nice one if it's any consolation my lady."
"Still does not give ya the right to touch it fur ball."
"Calm down Kat."
"Oh you're a cat? I think this kitty has claws."
Before she could attempt to loop her hands around its neck it all but disappeared form the neck down. The head now floated around her looking at her and giggling. The elevator doors reopened and Kat and Cameron stepped out and proceeded to the front door of their apartment building to leave. As soon as they stepped foot outside things were not as they were yesterday.

Walking out of a jewelery were seven little men who all but one had long, white beards. Now the fact of the matter was that this had been going on for awhile now, but they had not been so mainstream. Blowing past Kat and Cameron was a small white rabbit holding a pocket watch while shouting about its lousy time with being punctual. They continued their downtown walk and every street they traveled was quite a sight to see.
"Dum dee dum ah doo dee doo!"
A toothy smile appeared out of nowhere in front of them. It bounced back and forth singing that same tune over and over. The smile then began to dance in a circle around them. Not watching where he was going Cameron walked face first into a large metal object. It was vaguely human in shape, but it was hard to tell due to the coats of rust it wore over its shoulders to keep out the November chill. The smile then began to dance its circles around it instead of them. A soft metallic hum could be heard from within the metal man. The smile by now fully formed into a full cat stood upon what could be considered the metal figure's head and looked down upon it.
"Whoa this would make a horrible trash can, for it makes too much noise."
"A trash compactor then maybe, so what do you think Cameron?"
He looked it over again and felt a twinge of deja vu. Circling it a few times gave him the idea to check a nearby trash can to test his theory. After he dug his way to the bottom he found an old oil decanter. Holding it up he looked at Kat smiling.
"I got an idea."
After the better part of five minutes they oiled each limb and joint they could find. When the Cheshire Cat knocked on its head it began to shake. Cheshire jumped and disappeared while Kat and Cameron retreated about five paces away. It indeed was a man, for its movements although rusty and unrefined were quite human.
"What is this place-um?"
The voice rang out in a deep metallic tone. What looked to be its head turned this way and that in a manner as if it was looking for something. It stiffly marched towards them still looking around.
"Hey how are ya?"
Kat jumped up and stood in front of it blocking its path. It appeared to be looking at her and surprisingly its face formed an expression of confusion.
"Who are you-um? Where am I-um?"
"The name's Kat and yer in Times Square in New York."
"Where is this New York-um?"
Cameron stood up and took a spot next to Kat and looked straight at the metal man.
"Let me guess it was the flying monkeys."
Yes-um. Who are you-um?"
"My name is Cameron. So you are form Oz huh?"
"Yes-um. How do you know all of this-um?"
"Good question. Well you see I am not sure how to tell you besides the fact I read about you. Only I am not sure where exactly."
"That's OK-um. Do you know where Dorothy is-um?"
Kat and Cameron looked at each other and then back at the metal figure. Kat shook her head.
"I'm so sorry, but we don't know where she is. Hey what is your name?"
"My name is Tin Man-um."
"Well Tin Man we wish we could help you, but we don't know where your Dorothy is."
Kat did her best to console the metal man and asked if it had a picture or anything that could help. It pulled out a picture and handed it to her. She took her cell phone out and took a picture of it and handed the picture back to Tin Man. With a few clicks she put her phone away, but then Cameron emitted a strange noise. Tin Man jumped back and started looking around at every possible source of the noise until its gaze rested on Cameron. Fumbling in his pocket Cameron took out his phone as it continued to chirp. Looking over the message and the picture he nodded and put it away. Waving goodbye Kat and Cameron continued their walk and left Tin Man behind them.

After a few blocks Kat stopped. Her expression made it clear that she was confused.
"Ya know I don't remember there being book convention in town so what gives?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you not as confused as I am about all of this? The playing card armies, that fur ball who grabbed my a*s, and now this guy made out of metal..."
"You mean Tin..."
"Oh whatever, but still this all makes no sense."
She stood there shaking her head. Cameron put his hand on her shoulder. They locked eyes and she then put her head on his chest.
"I'm just so confused."

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Reviews

[TheDuchessDiary]

It makes me smile while reading. Geee. I can also imagine meeting the Tin Man. hahaha and I like the monkeys with wings. Maybe you can add tigers with fins. :D

[Mockingbird]

some people just have no imagination and take things too literally...this is a fantasy story! personally i loved it. i don't think you need to add any more detail than what it is. good writing is when we can suspend our disbelief and let our own imagination work out details...anyway, i love this story. i love the element of all the fairy tales. i absolutely love the reference to alice and wonderland. the cheshire cat is supposed to show up anytime it wants. the addition of the tin man, flying monkeys and the witch, make this thing all the more surreal. you really should continue this endeavor because i think you're off to a great start. excellent work.

[Riley]

Okay. I like this idea. As a reader, sometimes I got confused who is talking, you might want to make more details about people and incorporate what Kat looks like what Cameron looks like and so forth. Something I would do, is if indeed all this happened over night like you mention, your characters need to freak the f**k out about it. I can see where Kat makes the comment about the book convention if there is a tin man on the street but from the second that a cat starts appearing and disappearing on me, I'm going to do more than think it's a little confusing lol. Maybe have her or Cameron think they are hallucinating, have the ask the other one do you see that? Or have them fight because the one thinks they are trying to pull the biggest joke on them ever. Need some type of disbelief besides at the very end. I liked how you mentioned November chill... but maybe mention that as they exit the apartment, and decides to stop to zip up her jacket. The Cheshire cat I am a little confused as to why he is following them around, and perhaps you will reveal that later in the plot. One other thing where or why did Cameron and Kat leave/where are they going?

I know that sounded very critical, but you have an awesome plot idea, and I can't wait to read more. Just think about the wow factor... how would you react if you really turned on the tv and saw that or had the Cheshire cat show up at your home. I think I could believe the tin man on New York street easily just because people dress up in New York and do crazy s**t. But things disappearing and flying is a little above and beyond for a book convention, but I really do like this so don't think I'm just totally going crazy on your story lol. I just like people to tell me what they would change so I give advice about how I would change it. You don't have to listen to a thing a say either, just remember that lol.