Ode to all Things Cute and Cuddly

They march in columns,

They march in rows.

Look so cuddly,

All totally gross.

With beady eyes,

And huggable arms.

They lure you in,

With their dastardly charms.

 

Gumdrops and rainbows,

And hugs galore.

So sugary and sweet,

Leave you wanting more.

You buy their lunchboxes,

And their backpacks.

You buy their underwear,

And their fruity snacks.

 

Everyone listen to me,

I found our answer.

So we can finallly cure,

This dreadful cancer.

We can burn them in oil,

Or tear them to shreds.

Even just so simply,

We chop off their heads.

Or we can do this,

Gentlemen and Ladies.

We bend them over,

To stuff up M 80's

And blow them,

Up so high!

Death to Teddy Bears,

They all must die!

Author's Note

I was bored one day and my niece's collection of stuffed animals was getting on my nerves. Then it sort of came all of a sudden and here is the results.

Reviews

[Jess]

nice one:))glad you appreciate little things in life

[Cameron]

lol Well not a huge fan of cute stuffed animals, but sure let's go with that K.

[Delilah Campbell]

Haha, that was so hilarious and very creative. Remind me never to send you a Teddy Bear, LOL.

[kayla]

LOL. Very funny (:

[Laura Maidah]

Conceptually lovely. You have a knack for abrupt relatability. Nice one.

[AK]

Haha cute poem! I loved your way of expressing your frustration. My sister's toys bug me sometimes too...

[M.E.Lyle]

Great to get bored sometimes. Stuffed animals are OK, but too many stuffed animals and....M-80s work just fine. Now stuffed Santa Clauses is something else altogether. Here we tread on hallowed grounds.
Great style and form. It reads very smoothly, like a fine wine.

[Black Cat Fever]

Cute and violent. A clever poem indeed. I enjoyed it.