Outside the Cave

Take my hand -
And I'll show you the light
A different way of living -
A slice of paradise

The Sun is too hot -
And my skin - quite fair
I prefer it underground
In my dark and damp lair

The sun block is of plenty -
And the extra Vitamin D
Gave simulation to a thought
Meandering map to reality

The only relationship I need
Is with Shadows on the wall -
They are my Truth - my story
Their silhouettes - my all

Please give me a chance -
To show you the way
Don't go near that quicksand
That leads the path astray -

I am not ready -
Without a ladder or lamp
I know nothing but my cave -
Outside - a lackadaisical trance

I can give you hope -
Blaze the ember beneath the stones
Give you a pretty pill -
To make purpose persistently glow

I do not glow, I grow
And to get my stalk to height
I'll find morning dew drops -
In filtered, partial light

While waiting on sparce sun and rain -
Life passed you by - in disdain -
With my tan - I'm riding the rays -
Living and loving in Sage

Reviews

[Ookpik]

Ah, this is a nice one.

I'm a big fan of your rhythm; there's a nice punctuation to some of your rhymes that I really enjoy (e.g. "Meandering map..." & "...lackadaisical trance") and the growing plant image is well suited to the Platonic-cave analogy. I'm no philosophy expert, but I think there's something really meaningful about growing (as opposed to glowing) one's way out of the cave, and if anything, I almost wish you'd explore that a little further here.

It feels like the core theme within the work, and the opening imploration of the speaker:

"Take my hand -
And I'll show you the light
A different way of living -
A slice of paradise",

Seems to invite the reader on a journey of shared, personal growth as opposed to just accompaniment alongside a monologue. It brings to mind a notion of migration, or pilgrimage, maybe, and it might be that there's a lot of unexplored potential there.

Anyways, I enjoyed reading it and appreciate your taking the time to put it up. I'll keep an eye out for more of your work - I definitely like the way you write and am curious as to what you might put out next.

Thanks for sharing,

-Ook

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we can stay in the shadows and fake life, avoid the sun and use ointment to preserve what is not real. But those who take the risk of burn, put themselves out there....live life to the fullest and have the tan of experience to prove it.
j.