Aging is like a Stalker

aging is like a stalker
but not a cold killer
creased the fair forehead
behind the browning brush
creak in the right hip
location by a telephone tip
without approach, nor harm
and insidious charm -
testy toe-tapping
exasperatedly expectant -
gawking eyes stared
at the eternal clock with care
crescendoed drowsiness
in daily decisions -
piled on pain
behind the pillar
with what remains
in silent, slow deterioration
no need to fire the gun -
the burden wears like
telomeres on a chromosome

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Even tho I'm old & I relate to this message wholeheartedly, I have to say honestly, your poem does not really conjure up all the S**T that I feel daily as a disabled old person in constant pain. I mean, your poem covers the garden variety aspects of feeling old, but not really expressing the depth of agony it can be for some of us. What stands out is your wordplay. This is fun wordplay & that may be part of the reason this doesn't come across as dire as old age really feels. It feels a little like you're having fun with the idea of getting old more than showing the deep s**t an old fart drowns in daily. There's nothing wrong with this. Just a distinction. Now I see how my own poems could be read in a way that's not at all serious (my flippant style speaking louder than anything deep or intense I may be trying to say). I prefer making fun of something that's disagreeable (like you're doing here) rather than to write a long diatribe whining about how life can suck (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[VelvetPotato]

Yes I feel that I definitely didn't capture all the bad things that comes with aging; I don't think I necessarily intended too, but can see how maybe it could come off as inauthentic. As an ICU nurse I've just seen thousands of older folks who have gone through s**t, and am frequently reminded of mortality, so I guess it was kind of inspired as an outsider. I think you're right - I never write too seriously and frequently have undertones of whimsy. And I also don't like to whine or write "cringey" poetry. Thanks for stopping by and for your thoughtful review, Margie.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

It was like I was bearing witness to the most silent assassin. Almost invisible like.
I felt as if I was being driven to a point of no return. I dove in and was instantly carried away.

[VelvetPotato]

I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your review!