Loosing while Winning!!!

A Story by Veki

The War came to an end when I became addicted to it. We were confronting each other like one on one now. Anyone could have clearly sensed the long tiredness of war in our eyes. He lost it and was caged but still there was no glimpse of defeat in him. I was contemplating him so closely for the first time that how much I have ruined myself to reach at this point, how much I have devoted in this complete affair for wanting to live this moment, how much I have lost in process of this gain. I wanted to laugh at him, wanted to be proud on my victory but it was not coming from inside. Was this proud and smile really worth in compare to the time and moments which were lost during this. While looking at him, my mind vaguely flew to the point where all this started.

I had got this handsome paid Job and a city where I always wanted to be. Somehow, everything happened like walking in the dream. Whatever I wanted to be after graduation, came automatically in my way. I found a beautiful house on rent and wanted to live solely to enjoy my independence. All was going splendidly until l found out from last few days, few things getting misplaced and found some markings on furniture and floor piping. It wasn’t a crucial matter though, as a rest of the things were going superb and that’s what I was enjoying the most. Though it included an additional task of sweeping in morning and which required my sleeping timings to get shortened. It wasn’t about any strenuous effort or sleeping, it was the sign how a petty invasion starts affecting the entire program, and we start adjusting and giving importance to something without realizing if it needs that much attention. I didn’t realize then, it was the invasion on my life and things started changing gradually. But I overlooked it and became used to it. And that was my ghastliest mistake. In no time, I started feeling there were more than scratches and markings now, it was some dry goods and spread cereals which were taking my involvement than before. It was irritating, but concurrently, I was busy in capturing that invisible golden deer rather than focusing on these much.

Things were getting adverse day by day when I discovered holes in fibrous household material, crawl spaces, scavenged food, stains all over the places and unbearable kinds of smell. I decided I have to find out this what is happening here. One night, I came late from the office as was having my promotion party. The time I entered the house, I perceived some unusual sounds and I got scared. I have decided to be awake in night to find out the issue. But it was intermittent and gave me a big time in that night. Nearly around 4 o clock, I heard some noise coming from the kitchen. I stepped slowly towards the kitchen, and I was frightened too. I had my mobile torch with dull light. I moved my torch light towards the basin, and something was there. By seeing the light he started screaming and running. I dropped my phone out of fear and ran back to the bedroom. That was a big Mouse consuming something.

I woke up whole night building my robustness to face him. At morning, I went to the Kitchen and rolled my eyes all over. There was no one but pieces of biscuits which he was having at night near the basin. I seized my phone and decided that I have to get rid of it.
Few days went by I was merely collecting things to sway him out. I was looking for his house, his preferred places and tried to dispose all the foods. Quickly, I got out of the fear of him and prepared myself for the fight.

I started tracking him down. It wasn’t straightforward as he was moderately fast and courting him around my house was not the best way to get him out. I attempted this for few days but failed. But in reply, he started destroying my clothes and one day I found out my watch was broken as it fell down from the table. I became infuriated, and I wanted to kill him anyhow. It became my sole mission. I just overlooked other things. I couldn’t enjoy my house or job or anything else anymore till I will accomplish it. My complete routine turned into making plans to kill him and in that way I just tried new things for that. Nothing was accomplishing which made me more frustrated. It wasn’t like he didn't possess unpleasant time. I made his life like hell However, it appeared as he had taken it on his ego now. That ordinary fight converted into a War. I spoke to my friends as well, but they even laugh at me so I stopped discussing this with them. I was so much busy in this battle that I completely ignored what beautiful things were happening in tangible world. All these distressing episodes happening with me outside was because of having him inside. So the only way to make my life better again was to kill him. I tried all types of chemicals, sprays but nothing worked. Ultimately, I bought one cage with some attractive frontier and holder for bread. I prepared a nice bread and suspend it in the cage for the night. After a long time, I was going to enjoy a relaxed sleep now. I slept for 9 hours on that night.

I woke up with a smile at morning and just rushed towards the cage. But what was that, there was nothing inside and strangely, even bread was not there. What the earth had exactly happened in night. I thought for all the possibilities but couldn’t figure it out. I went to that shopkeeper and roughed up him for the fraud and then settled it by got a new cage. Even I made myself convinced that something wrong was there in cage of course. Furthermore, I did the same exercise next night too but no change in result. This was something which blew my mind completely. Something which was way beyond my understanding. But still I kept on doing same thing every night and resulted in same way every morning. I just stopped anticipating the result now and doing the same stuff daily. It became my usual routine then like one of my job. I realized I was feeding my enemy now.

I became so desperate that I took offs from my work and gave full attention here. it turned into my full-time job . Now whenever I thought, sleep then get up, prepare bread for night and wait for him. One night I hid behind the curtains to observe how does he eat bread without getting caged. I waited for whole night. I didn’t realize I got my eyes closed for few minutes, and he completed his job there I don’t know how much time I had crossed repeating same thing daily. I didn’t grasp the other side of him even. How difficult it was for him to executing this thing daily even. It’s not the bread he was looking for but to won the battle against me like I wanted to do it against him. He was receiving bruises too as I saw blood stains in the cage but he kept on doing this daily.

Likewise, Mornings and Nights gone by. I even stopped looking towards the cage then but just repeated my work. I had decided to join the office again from next morning. Other Day, I woke up and started getting ready for office. I saw myself in the mirror but surprisingly couldn’t able to recognize. It was very old, tired and ugly face in reflection. I couldn’t understand the timeframe. Anyway, I took a bath and got ready. I took out a shirt which had a narrow hole on the bottom. But I took it since it was common to have a holes in my clothes by then. While wearing, I saw a reflection of the cage in the mirror. But it was different than usual. Something was moving in it. I turned around. He was there. He was inside the cage. Did I win it means?

I was watching him so closely for the first time. A swollen, fatty, oily, exhausted, old mouse. I was happy but not reacting like I should have been. Might be because of over expectation with myself or could be I was so over on it that I had no emotions left for this moment. I thought I would kill him definitely, but since we held a long camaraderie he should know me, identify my face properly and recognize me forever. As it was office day after long, i decided to meet him with a plan in evening and left. I came out of the house and felt like coming out of jail from some decades. I was incapable to identify the people, buildings from having encountered them before. I reached office but no one was even acknowledging my existence. They even were not surprised after seeing me after so long. I got confused regarding my presence. My friends and colleagues didn’t even miss me. I got puzzled was that battle happening in some other universe or was I dreaming. I did not understand the reality. I felt alienated and strange in my own world. I was looking for someone with known faces , one who will come and greet me with a smile or wave hand or say ‘HI’ to me. Having spent a minute here was agonizing me. I started running back to my house in order to complete my evening plan but actually I wanted to be recognized from someone.

Finally, I reached my beautiful home, it was smelling so nicely. I was in a hurry to show him my face. I saw him in the cage and felt happy and thought will continue with leftover work. I saw, his eyes were open but wasn’t moving. Bread was hanging like it was not even been touched. It looked he lost his battle against me. I was just watching him with a hope that he will smile or say hi to me or even show some anger will be fine. I didn’t have a feeling of winner now. I even did not want to be his friend, but wished to be acknowledged by the one, whom I know at least. I didn’t have anyone outside, so I thought to continue this battle for rest of my life. I would have someone to share some feelings atleast though anger. So, I decided to release him. I wanted to make him feel grateful towards me. I didn’t want him to know why actually I wanted to free him and I opened the cage!!!

But he didn’t move. He was not moving. That was what I scared of. A intimidating thought materialized: Nobody knew me now.

HE WAS DEAD.

It’s probably how people feel like Loser after winning the war!!!!

© 2020 Veki

Author's Note

everyone is free to say whatever they feel.

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Reviews

Mrudula Rani

Some times little things that bother us get under our skin and become obsessions and distort our aim in life. If we stop and take stock... how much the obesession had affected our lives, then we realize the proper course of action. You have clearly out lined the point, Veki. Well done.

Posted 6 Years Ago

6 Years Ago

Thanks a lot for your words.

6 Years Ago

You are most welcome.

Onlyme

Had me a little confused at times. Had to reread a few times to understand better. I think you are talking about you having a split personality due to the war and it showing up in little things over time and then growing as you noticed more when you on even state of mind.And then the prove at the end it was you all along inside.