Clever Manipulation...Mental Masturbation?

Why is it that people find it so pleasurable to toy with one another's emotions? We all know that when we are jerked around ourselves it can be one of the most heartrending, terrible, & infuriating things that could happen. Yet, when the tables are turned we almost scream with the glee of a newborn whose first discovered a rattle.

 

 

I thought I was immune. I had my sights set so clear. Clad in my armor of cynicism & pessimistic insight, I thought I was invincible. I stood corrected, & harshly so.

 

I fell...& I fell hard. After that fateful knock to my fractured ego, I felt that I would never again feel the agony of letting someone get too close to the flame. I had paid my price & was most definitely not going to pay it again.

 

Then you came along..................

 

You: tall, dark, & handsome. You, with your endless tales of life well (& sometimes not-so-well) lived. You with your extensive knowledge of world religion, impeccable taste in music, grand sense of humor, your fibromyalgia & bad back, & lastly your piercing brown eyes & your long black hair. You were beautiful. You were perfect. You had the other 1/2 of my cheap silver heart. I, like God, do not play with dice, & therefore do not believe in coincidence. How in the hell did that particular 1/2 of my heart just happen to show up one night whilst visiting a long-lost friend? I had no clue it would ever surface, let alone see it right under my nose. I was scared of this at first, but then my fear quickly melted as the last snow on a mountain meadow at the whisper of a change of season. You made me feel safe, secure, like I could after all these years finally just give up & stop running. Our night shared at the spot overlooking the river; on that unclouded moonlit night, under that flawless diamond sky. There was so much beauty oozing from every pore of that night that I would have been happily drunk on it for a week & still not be satisfied. As I went to sleep for many nights after that I heard the hauntingly beautiful words you had whispered in my ear so many times that evening. In a fever dream, I saw you bent over my bed, tucking me in as I shut my eyes once more, with a lingering kiss on the forehead & the enchanting words that had cast a shroud over my previously un-muddied thoughts. "I adore you..."

 

Then. Just like a cartoon where a character runs into what he thinks is a tunnel but what in actuality is a black spot painted on a brick wall ("Curious looking mural" their art professor thought) I ran full throttle & was knocked on my a*s. There is another whose haunted by your words: one that has been there for far longer than I. Yea, there is another that has heard the same exact sentiments, as well as many many others, uttered from those perfect lips. The same exact eve that I see you sharing glances, & fleeting kisses with your so-called beloved, after she's retired you come to me expecting the same magic that went on that both blessed & accursed evening?

 

I guess it had been a while since I had been smacked across the face, for it seems as though I needed it. There is no package of frozen vegetables big enough to ease the swelling of this ruthless beating.

Reviews

[TTBoy28]

What a necessary beating!