Almost Talked With You

Your long hair undulates with the breeze,

It reminds me of the waves of the sea

and the leaves of the sturdy trees,

and it engulfs me with delight and glee.

 

You spot me and go florid instantaneously,

heart's thumping turns rapid at once,

intrusion is done by a kid instantly,

dear; you turn away disappointedly.

Oh! This kid you go away, please?

Heed me and simply obey, please,

don't be a hurdle in the way please,

couldn't your silly intrusion cease?  

Author's Note

This poem has been edited by H.L.Cerveise. Many many thanks to him for his support.

Reviews

[David Scott]

We convince ourselves of so much conversation that is hypothetical. Why not speak? Ah, but I have spoken and learned why not. ha. It is a life lesson and one we should take with a grain of salt. Poets tend to take life overly seriously at times. We even take ourselves too seriously. this poem reminded me to be brave and speak; to be curious and seek truth.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Exactly, sir. Thanks for reviewing.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Loved this poem. All poets self talk as far as I know, well at least I do and I see you do. Well done.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thank you so much sir for your review.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Sometimes our lack of faith makes us hesitant and we miss the opportunity. Remember, luck favours the brave.
Having said that, it is a fact that presence of people can hinder "progress".
Overall a very lovely poem. Well done

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Sorry for the late reply, I was on a trip. Thanks for your review.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Love the poem! It has a great flow for story telling!

"Your long hair undulate with the breeze,
I am reminded of the waves of the sea,"

Thank you for teaching me a great word that is "undulate." :)
Keep up the good work!

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Sorry for the late reply, I was on a trip. Thanks for your review.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome! Hope you enjoyed your trip! :)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

I did enjoy it. Thanks for stopping by

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're very welcome!

[Pryde Foltz]

If something got in the way ... it was meant. You probably owe that kid a debt of gratitude. Happy beach combing, Vatsal:)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thank you so much for your opinion.

[barleygirl]

You're describing a situation I've never experienced, but I can almost feel the way it might feel, your simply-stated observations are described with such clarity & imagery. Just when the guy gets up the nerve to approach her, some annoying kid disrupts the perfect moment. An ordinary situation made extraordinary by your originality.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thank you for your insights and detailed review.

[Philip Muls]

You go florid instantly. Fantastic words, what do they mean in your speak ?

Nice work!

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

I mean that the girl blushes at the moment she sees me. Thanks for reviewing.

[Philip Muls]

Great! Take care