Complicated Matters

A ghazal with maqta (the last couplet that includes the poet's name).

Love's profound influence complicates the whole matter,
your changing countenance complicates the whole matter.

You overlook me at times for I had done the same earlier,
my love, your vengeance complicates the whole matter.

You spur me on, thus I divulge my very deep feelings,
your sitting on the fence complicates the whole matter.

I ask whether you will continue obfuscating me like this,
dear, your acquiescence complicates the whole matter.

When 'Vatsal' commences exiting any place, my love,
your sudden entrance complicates the whole matter.

Author's Note

Criticism is always welcome.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, on the urgent rhythm...the repetition works well..."obfuscating" is an interesting word, which i like, but i think it disrupts the rhythm here...and i tripped over it..

but i like how the love for her pulls him in different directions...love is that complicated, no doubt about it.

j.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your review and insights, sir.

[barleygirl]

I really enjoy your writing, but I don't particularly like poems with quite a bit of repetition. It looks like you seem to gravitate to this poetic form, so I'll try to set aside my dislike. I love vocabulary and you use many complicated words well . . . which illustrates your message . . . but also in a way, it also makes your poems sound a little elevated & distant, rather than warm & conversational.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your review and criticism.

[Pryde Foltz]

When 'Vatsal' commences exiting any place, my love,
your sudden entrance complicates the whole matter.

Romantic love is like that. The sweet spot is when the heart and mind align. Loved this write, Vassal:)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your words of praise and kind review.

[David Scott]

You have have a bit if frustrated energy here. The poem reads full of tension and teasing the heart.
I'm not a fan of repeating lines in general, but here you lines did not put me off as many similar have a tendency to do. Why? Maybe because you kept the energy fresh enough in each couplet? Brevity and energy helped this read as well.
The last couplet had me smiling.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your very kind review. I am glad that I could bring a smile upon your face.

[Philip Muls]

Could you read my story A Thousand Weddings which is set in Bangalore ?

Aha...women always complicate the whole matter. She is sitting on the fence is she? Typical...

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Consider the work done. Thanks for reviewing.

[LapseOfMind]

I really liked this one! It had a smooth but almost urgent rhythm to it that made it a joy to read aloud. I have felt similar emotions as to those expressed in this before and relate quite well. Thank you for writing this, well done

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for the words of praise and the kind review.