That sound sleep

I was enjoying a sound sleep in the shade of a tree,
when I woke up I found her sleeping beside me.

She wore upon her visage an alluring, lovely smile,
I got on my feet and resolved to leave quietly.

I took a step and someone caressed my back,
I turned back and she embraced me lovingly.

I found her florid face glistening with affection,
with half a smile she bewitched me completely.

I nervously asked her what the matter was,
she returned that she had read my secret diary.

Author's Note

Criticism is always welcome.

Reviews

[Patricia Stephmore]

I see this poem in two different ways
1- where you are unable to express yourself and she reads your diary understanding your feelings for her
2- where she is already with you but she did the mistake of reading your diary and she is trying to cover up..
Though I know your intention is to put across the first one...just putting down what I thought :-)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Well, I didn't think of the second one; but it makes a lot of sense. Thanks for your nice review, friend.

[Patricia Stephmore]

Your welcome :-)

[Rosmine D'Silva]

Beautiful romantic poem..I liked the rhyming words and well composed lines..love is difficult to express when you dont have any idea how the other person is going to react...true words. Keep writing :)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your kind review and words of praise, Rosmine.

[Happy hours]

Wow vatsal this poem is really alluring... :)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for those words of praise, Happy hours.

[Country boy183798]

Romantic and beautiful. Very well written too! Well done and keep on writing!

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for the review, friend.

[Pryde Foltz]

Well done, Vassal. A-one lyrical writing:)

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for reviewing the poem, ma'am.

[Shabeeh Haider]

A romantic love poem. It is very difficult to express your love when there are doubts about rejection. You are lucky she read your diary. It would be a lovers dream to open his eyes and see his beloved lying down beside him...... and you were so sweet that you got up to move away quietly

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for the kind review, friend. By the way, all of it was; unfortunately, fictional.

[forgotten_ghosts]

Very romantic and the flow is perfect for a love poem. Like someone said before your way of writing or of describing a love scene is really fresh. I love it!

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thank you for your encouraging review, friend.

[barleygirl]

Having been single all my long & varied life, not too many great memories in the love life arena. However, I've had many memorable dreams that won't quit! Your poem is the first time I've been reminded of this in a long time. You've done it with great imagination & wit. I love the way the sleeping one starts to get up & go at first, then stays after a caress to the back. These are the delicate, very specific sensory contrasts that make a love poem really sing for me. I hate a steady diet of predictable love expressions. You've broken WAY out of the mold to give us FRESH! Thanks for that.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thank you very much for your insightful and deep review. Thanks for all that lovely praise and motivation.

[Woody]

you are quite the romantic Vatsal! nice little one. easy flow and happy ending. I wish I could wake up and find a beautiful girl lying beside me! *sigh*

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your review, sir. As a matter of fact, the things I penned down in this poem are fictional- they, unfortunately, never happened with the real me; they did when I was day-dreaming.
Thanks for the review.