There she stands

A no-maqta, no-refrain, non-conventional ghazal.

There she stands, bedecking that place,
all eyes are turning to her lovely face.

She is so pretty that all girls curtsy,
she is the one whom all boys chase.

She is engulfed by graceful flowers,
the flowers shy, such is her grace.

Those who are praised by everyone
say that she deserves all the praise.

All guys are racing to win her love,
unaware that I've already won the race.

Author's Note

Please review. Criticism is always welcome.

Reviews

[Usman Muhammad]

So you won the heart....mine too (just kidding). Well done, a beautiful poem it is.
I really liked your phrasing. The poem's rhythm was very nice.
The way you described the feelings of others towards her is interesting and charming too.
Will be looking forward to read your other writings too.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your interesting and kind review.

[barleygirl]

I enjoy your graceful expressions to SHOW us the lovely person the narrator calls "mine". Especially like: "flowers shy, such is her grace" . . . this scenario conveys tones of this adored one being arm candy, with a touch of gloating, but I sense this isn't the intended meaning. Hopefully their connection goes deeper than that.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thanks for your review. By the way, most of your writings are rated mature, so I cannot read them- can you write something for everyone? I love your writing.

[barleygirl]

The things I post as "mature" really are only barely mature . . . do you mean that it is not possible to read them, or are you afraid they will be very explicit? I do have many things that are NOT posted as mature, maybe only my recent postings. If it's too hard to go back to my early postings, I can message you some links.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

I mean that I cannot access your mature-rated poems- the website doesn't permit me to access them.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Beautifully written ghazal. You have indeed won the race with your lovely words

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Thank you for your review, Shabeeh.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that's kind of a good feeling....they all seek her affections, but i already have them...

nice twist at the end...although most of this reminded me of my first ex...all eyes always on her with the same intentions...used to really make her feel shy, and awkward....there was such a pleasant modesty about her...but the attention finally got to her...and she started eating it up...i knew then, she was no longer mine...and would never be again.

got me reflecting with this one.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)]

Sir, thanks for your review and, peculiarly, for sharing your experience. Honestly, your review is a nice short piece to read.