Sleep Forever

This is more of a lyrical prose about someone who's tired. Tired of people, struggling, just tired.

Exhaustion takes over my being,

Slowly navigating my soul.

My universe spins

I understand too late

That I am the axle

That tears away

So the wheel can work.

So I put down my head,

And close my eyes

Craving a moment

Of blissful peace

But I'm scared

What if they see me

As I drown in weakness?

So I sit up

Twice as alert 

And thrice as tired

From my soul.

Maybe I'll only find peace

When I sleep forever.

Author's Note

I actually wrote this poem with a pencil on my desk in school. I really was exhausted, but honestly, not this much. But there are some people who do make me feel this way, but not this extreme. I like to think that I'm a relatively happy person. But enough blabbering, I really really hope you like the poem/lyrical prose. And as always, I couldn't be more grateful to you for coming here to read this!

Love,
Vasilees.

Reviews

[neurostar burns]

Good, strong feeling conveyed! I hope some will listen to you!

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Interesting how I stumbled upon this write this moment when I am feeling like this... so this really relatable to me atm. Maybe that's how it works...
Good write.

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Power of the Universe is undeniable. Thank you so much for the review!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Aye, so true. You're welcome (:

[slfisher89]

Beautiful; I have deep empathy for the world weary, emotionally drained soul

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Thank you so much for your review!

[Wajiha Nayeem]

that's so beautifully penned...great work. keep it up.

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Thank you so much!

[Soumya Deouskar]

Woah! Just so lyrical! Not to say.much, but keep writing!

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

You inspire me. Thank you!

[Ethan]

Strong start, but I'm a bit confused by your wheel analogy. Wheels require axles in order to work efficiently. So taking an axle away would damage the wheel.

"So I sit up
Twice as alert
And thrice as tired
From my soul."

Is "from my soul" a continuation of that sentence? Because if so, "and thrice as tired from my soul" doesn't make much since. Do you mean "tired of my soul"? Maybe I'm missing something ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Other than that, great poem, you've got talent.

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Yep, that's the point. The wheel can't spin without the axle, but that's what slowly tears away. read moreYep, that's the point. The wheel can't spin without the axle, but that's what slowly tears away.

Again, that's a continuation of the line. My laptop tends to capitalise the first word in each line, so if I don't pay attention, it can get confusing.

Literal translations are to blame here. English isn't my first language, so sometimes I translate stuff that turns out completely rubbish. But I don't know what to replace it with, so I just let it be. I'll try to think of something. Thanks for pointing it out!!

[Ethan]

Oh okay, in your piece you wrote "That I an the axle
That tears away
So the wheel can work."

So you mean so the wheel can't work?

[Ethan]

Ah you mean tears away as in a constant state of erosion. The way I read it was the axle being literally removed.

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

See? Now you get it. Maybe I should've tried to clarify it more.

[Ethan]

Yeah, tears away sounds like it's being torn away from the wheel. Maybe put "I am an axle, tearing away so the wheel can work"? Putting it in present tense makes it less likely to mean the removal of something.

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Oooh, thanks. I'll confirm with my mother, and make appropriate changes. Thanks!

[apennylate]

Hurts... To spin in universal exhaustion... Faking it till you make it can be quite tiresome... If I may, I think you meant "Am", not "An"... In the line...
*I understand too late
That I an the axle
That tears away*

This was a flawless portrayal of keeping the mask tightly fit... No matter how badly it wants to slip... Forever sleep is a ways away, hopefully... Woefully penned...

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Oh, that mistake kind of slipped my mind. Thank you so much for pointing it out!

Thank you so so much for your kind review. It means the world to me.

[apennylate]

You are more than welcome...!

[Shasha]

Nothing to say, Vasilees! just claps!!!

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Thank you so much, bud!!

[Farhan Shaikh]

That is lovely poem, yeah some people make us to feel this way because we are minus one from all of them, they can't be like us, being different cost us this type of situation but it's okay, we are stronger than them..

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

That is so true and inspiring, Farhan! Thank you so much for your review!

Love,
Vasilees.