Just Another Statistic

     Joining the army. It was an honor and it was a depressor. You got to serve your country, but everything was interrupted. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I had gotten the right to serve my country. I didn’t wait much more then a second to get to that office after pearl harbor. The only thing i loved more than my girl was my country. Alice was crying in my shoulder. We had come to an agreement just last night that i would go into the war.  I put my arm around Alice, “there’s no need to cry honey. Ater we win the war we can get married.” She just cried even harder. Alice definetly wasn't as excited as me. We had planned to get married in the coming summer, but after Pearl Harbor I felt I must join to serve my country.

     Though it had been over a year since Pearl Harbor actually happened, I hadn’t been of a legal age to sign up. But that had changed this January. I finally turned 18 and I joined the army in a heartbeat. Of course I knew what this entailed, I might die, I might have a limb blown off, or I might get paralyzed. I just didn’t care.

     “John, it’s just not fair, what if you don’t come back?” Alice looked up at me with her tear stained eyes. I hated doing this to her, but what must be done must be done. “It’ll be ok,” I hugged her close, “I promise I wont die.” I felt my heart push against my chest with the uncertainty I felt. Before it got worse I hugged and kissed her good-bye and got on the bus.

     Boot camp.

     I just had to go through drills, be at top physical form, and follow orders.

     Right?

     I was given a pair of clothes and an assigned bunk. None of my old buddies had decided to join the army; they felt that the war was almost over. All I said is that I want to be a part of that end. At home I was told about all the nasty things that went on in war, but what would they know? They’ve never served before. Even so, at home my nights were restless from knowing what I was going to do. I believed I was ready to kill a man for my country. I ran the simulation of it through my head over and over, and i could feel myself tense every time i pulled the trigger. But my determination to be strong was powerful. I had to show everyone my strength; I had to be a soldier.

     Next morning, I woke up when it was still dark outside. The commander’s were yelling at us to get dressed. It was time to begin.

     Every day was 10 mile runs, running the obstacle course, working out in a gym, and drills. Lots and lots of drills. We practiced with all the standard guns and others. I felt myself become hardened. Stronger. I felt it in my arm's that when i tensed now i could feel my skin pull tight on lean muscles. My face still seemed to have the youthful roundedness in it, but behind it was nothing more than a shadow.

     I advanced in the training quickly, more so then anyone else. I quickly became known to everyone, some hated me and some stuck around with me. I was turning into what they wanted. A soldier.

     I had been placed in the 1^st battalion for an operation we were told was an attack on the beaches of France which was now German territory. I was told that I would be heading for Utah Beach, I felt thrilled for my first battle. My new friend’s were just the same.

     “Can’t wait to get out there can ya John?” Steve jumped up to his bunk. “Now what would give you that idea?” “Maybe because you’re so twitchy,” Kyle chimed in. “Guess what?” Eric looked over to Kyle. “What?” “This,” Eric punched Kyle in the arm and he muttered an “Ow”, and went back to his book.

     “Eric your going to go lame in the brain if you keep reading that crap,” Ray was at attention now, “your brain is just gonna melt right out of your ear.” We all laughed as Eric put his book down. “Funny, even through all this reading I could still hurt you somethin’ fierce.” “Oh?” Ray jumped down from his bunk, “now that’s something I would like to see.”
     A crowd was gathering around our bunks and we stood up as Ray and Eric put up there fists. We joined the circle to watch but kept close before someone punched the lights out of the other. Ericthrew a punch at Rays face but he ducked in the knick of time. “I got five buck’s on Ray,” shouted someone from the back. “I got all my money on the book kid,” yelled another.

     Like all fights, no one really won,someone was just more hurt then the other. In this case Ray was more hurt. “Damn book nerd is stronger then he looks,” and Ray smiled over at Eric who had a cut under his eye. “You can definitely back up some of that bark,” Eric wiped some of the blood off of his cheek and smiled. After that they shook hands and the barracks settled down.

     We deployed that morning, on the cold, dank sea. The air was damp and I looked over to the beach. There were nothing but the sound of bombs exploding and shouts from captains and sergeants. I looked over at the boats approaching the beach before us; it looked like the second battalion.

     I felt a rush in the pit of my gut as we crept closer and closer to the beach. Adrenaline flooded through my body, causing the crashes only to seem louder. I was very anxious with war. In a few seconds I would be in the first real battle of my life. One where I could die.

     Then the ramp went down and I bolted outside. The water was waist deep and I held my rifle barely over the water. I tried as hard as I could to waddel through the water and get to shore, then I would find some shelter in one of the bomb holes. I got up out of the water fast and dove for a bomb hole.

     I looked back onto our boats and it looked like there was some confusion. From what I could make out there was a general that had landed with us and was talking on a radio. I didn’t care what he was talking about as long as he knew how to fight a war. Though I didn’t know how either.

     I looked to the south and not so much see or hear them; I had an instinct that I had been lined up in the German gun sites. I ducked quickly to cover my head as a few bullets come down over my head and right in front of my pit. Good thing i had instinct.

     Kyle ran over to me, “they’re starting to take control, watch your head.” We felt another rain of fire over the pit. At the same time me and Kyle got on one knee and took aim. I saw a German taking aim at me, but I looked at him and pulled the trigger first.

     I felt a cool sensation wash over me as I saw his body limp with the shot, but before I could think about it I turned to my left and shot another. His body bounced back and fell into the sand. I felt a rush in my belly that pulsed through the rest of my body as I continued to shoot enemy soldiers. It was a weird kind of blood thirst, but not a crazy kind, it felt more like relief then happieness.

     The battle seemed to go on forever; it felt like hours before there seemed to be any considerable amout of less fire. I was in another shell hole but we were a lot farther west. Ray was in the same shell hole as me. When we heard the almost stillness of our battle curiosity grew in the pit of my stomach and spread up to my chest. I began to sweat and felt my heart quicken with anxiety. After what seemed like two hours Ray finally looked over the side of the shell hole. He quickly looked up at the hill and ducked back down.

     Still no sound.

     Ray stood up, slowly but surely, and put on a huge smile, “I think we did it!” Ray looked down to me with his warm smile. I felt the warmth of his smile and started to smile to. It was nice to think we had done this with so few casulaties. As i looked around and saw no one laying in the sand, i felt the same realization he did. We had done it. Our first battle had been won.

     But silence never brings good news. I heard one gunshot. Ray’s body sagged forward and flopped onto mine. My smile began to fade. Ray’s blood began to spread all over my pants. The warm liquid was unnerving but we were used to discomfort. I looked down at Ray, one of my best friends here, now lying on my lap, dead. I felt my eye's widen with realization of his death. There were no tears; I just looked at his body helplessly.

     There was another gun shot and I heard a body collapse. I didn't bother looking up to see who it was, I just sat there looking at Ray’s limp body. Kyle charged over to our hole, keeping an eye on the hill where the soldier had been hiding, and pulled Ray off of me. He tried  desperately to snap me back into reality. “John! John! Get a hold of yourself, we need to keep moving!”

     I don’t know how but I was up and moving. I felt stupified. Dumbstuck. Numb. But apparently it didn’t show on my face. I heard myself shouting at the enemy soldiers. I heard myself pull the trigger, felt it. But i was still stuck in my slump.

      “Eric!!” I snapped back into attention as I saw Kyle run over to Eric who was lying with his leg in his hands, screaming. Eric's hands were both covered in blood. I looked up and saw a few soldiers taking aim at Kyle. I didn’t think, I just took quick aim and fired the first shot quickly. As the first one collapsed they both looked at me. The closest one took aim at me while the other went back to Kyle.

     I took quick aim again and shot the second one down. The third one looked quickly at is fallen friend and then shot at Kyle. It was too late though he had already dragged Eric into the safety of a shell hole. I reloaded my rifle quickly and shot the last one dead before he could do anything more.

     Eric was bleeding profusely and we had to get a medic team to take him to where there was a better chance of not getting shot. We provided cover fire as they pulled him away. I heard murmurs about how it was a clean shot and it would heal up fine if he could hold on.

     We continued moving at a steady rate, German force’s thinning out. It turned out that we had only been on the beach for almost an hour. Time moves a lot slower when you’re at war.

     I found a few German soldiers hiding in wait for us. But I shot them before they could shoot any of us.

     I was traveling along the trees in the upper part of the beach, fishing out any German forces. A few of them were hiding behind some bushes; all looking out towards the beach with rifle’s pointed and loaded. It was pure luck that I had managed to sneak past them and get behind them.

     I tip-toed behind them and pointed my rifle at one of the four. I got my aim right at his head. A cold pulse ran through me and i felt anger for these people. I didn't want to forgive them. I wanted revenge. “For Ray,” I whispered under my breath and pulled the trigger. Blood splattered forward and his body collapsed with his rifle remaining on top of the bush. Before the rest of them could react I took quick aim and shot the rest of them.

     One of their fingers twitched but I thought it was just me seeing things. After all, i had shot them point-blank. I stepped through the bush and found all rifles pointed at me. “No, I’m not German,” I quickly said. Kyle relaxed at least when he heard my voice, “its ok guys, its just John.” I smiled at them and a few smiled back.

     I walked down the beach to meet them when I heard a little rustle in the bushes. I turned around immediatly and saw one of the German soldiers that I had shot barely leaning over the bush. He was grasping at his shoulder. I had missed. No one had seen him because I was right in front of there view. But how could that be? Don't they notice that i turned around. I thought quickly and tryed to take action.

     I saw him pull the trigger as I lifted up my rifle.

     There was a piercing pain in my chest as I fell back from the shock of the bullet. I couldn't remember what had happened in the moment i was shot, i remember a sharp pain then this. Blood flew up my throat into my mouth. The taste of it was to much and the thickness almost made me throw up. I heard several shouts and a gun shot then everything went quiet.

     “John! John! Are you alright?” Kyle was over me, checking where i had been shot. He quickly called a medic team. In response I gave a quick bloody smile. My head hurt, I was tired, and I was nauseous. I felt like i should sleep. I turned my head and threw up blood. There was acid in my throat now along with the blood. My head began to get lighter and my eye lids drooped. I rested my head against the sandy ground. I started to feel my body grow cold as the pain in my chest became a burning. It felt like I was being eating from my chest out.

     “John!! Don’t you dare die on me John!!!” Kyle was screaming at me, I think. I closed my eyes. I was so tired. I needed to sleep. Then everything would be better. I felt the burning stop as a coldness swept through my body. I didn’t feel any more pain. But a new sensation filled me, a lighting feeling. I grasped onto it and didn’t let go.

     A few strange thoughts passed through my mind before I died. What was I to this war? If all that training was for me just to die, why did I bother? Why didn’t I live when I had so much to do in my life? They all came to one answer. I’m just another statistic. I heard one more cry from Kyle, some that was so faint i couldn't hear it. My vision went black and i felt a sort of relief, like i had let go of one of the weight bars back in the gym. I heard nothing more. I was cold and i felt tired.

     I finnaly fell asleep.