Lost Winter

 

With winter’s burning wind lashing at my face

I slowly turn and walk away from this place.

The place that I had once called home

The place that I had once called love.

 

To leave you behind was the hardest thing

I left with no love and nothing to bring

Out in the bitter cold with only the snow

Wandering the trees with no way to know.

 

Would you wake and miss my heart

Would you wake and hate being apart.

Looking to the sky to find a sign

Not even the stars can make me feel alive.

 

I crank my head back towards the ground

Feeling as if I am the only soul around.

Only I and winters chill to be my friend

I am  me and no longer can pretend

Pretend, that everything will end up fine.

Reviews

[Just Cat]

I love this. It's so sad, but kinda sweet, and I love the feeling of winter (winter is my favourite time of the year) and I just generally love this poem.
It's relatable and this poem is going in my library as a favourite.
Nice work :)

[Kayla K]

I really like this poem! I'm not very good at giving reviews, but when i find a good poem that is worth a review, I try giving one. The rhyming is great and the meaning is clear. Great job

[Matthew Smith]

The poem seemed to flow well enough. The rhyming scheme was consistent throughout, except for a couple places, but those instances didn't necessarily interrupt said flow.

The structure was fine, too, except for a couple places where the rhymes seemed to be forced and less fluid, thus interrupting the aforementioned flow. Ex: "Looking to the sky to find a sign/Not even the stars can make me feel alive".

"Only I and winter's chill to be my friend" is my favorite line from the piece, but it could be structured better, since that's slightly incorrect, grammatically-speaking.

All-in-all, though, this wasn't bad. With some work here and there, it'd be a stand-out write.

Good job, nonetheless.

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

This one is really good, again. And the structure is much better, however, the punctuation is poorer. I think that you need to add in more, as it is amazing how much of an effect changing punctuation can have on they way poetry reads. It might be worth while having a look at this again. =)

simple, but I like the rhythm.
I'm not much of a reviewer, but I'm liking what I read.

[Apathy To Empathy]

The first stanza really stood out to me, then again the poem over all did. The writting of it made insecurity seem so lost, made love seem like betrayal...(i don't think i spelled that right) but it is a great write!!

[Allan Eddings]

This is a piece I would love to hear set to music, and sung - it just would fit so beautifully. If I had any musical talent, I would set it music, but alas I have none (some would say I have no talent whatsoever ha!).

Anyway, once again kudos on this lovely piece, please keep writing.

Sincerely,
A.E.

[misha]

You did a good job on this piece.