Loose Ends

A short story that leaves you to interpret the end.

 

It was a cold winter morning and I woke up at 6 to do the dishes as usual. Dan had left for work already and I had to get the kids ready for school. As I let the cold water run down my hands, I thought of the cold water that consumed my mind, body and soul on that dark winter night, back in 1976, a year I will never  forget, a year  that would change my life forever and ultimately a year that determined the way my life is now.  I had been having these memories a lot and at times I got so lost in them, reality took a walk out the door. I wondered why. Why now? These memories had been trapped for so long that I even forgot they existed until recently, they decided to pay me a visit. I assured myself they were just memories and I could never go back to that time or relive the experience, or could I?

“Mummy! I’m ready!” Finally a familiar sound that soothed my heart. My little girl Annabelle, the apple of my eye, the reason I breathe every day. I always thought having a child would make my life harder and much  more stressful than it already was and I was right, that’s exactly what it did, but I could never imagine that this little Annabelle with two pigtails, could show me such love and change my life in ways I didn’t even know existed. My little girl! There she was, standing at the entrance of the kitchen, bright eyes, and a big toothy smile, shiny polished shoes and a clean uniform which she was so proud to wear. I truly didn’t deserve this little girl but I wouldn’t let her go for all the money in the world.

“So mum! What’s for breakfast? I’m hungry! “Oh Annabelle, your porridge is on your table, please hurry or we are going to be late and where is Ricky?” Ricky my four year old son, who has been prancing around in his sister’s ballet outfit, has never worried about breakfast. In fact Ricky is quiet a strange child, hasn’t turned out like any of the other kids in the family. I always wonder what goes through his mind and what he will be like a few years from now. Rebel?  Heartbreaker? Ballet Dancer? Now that would be strange. His father wouldn’t be totally happy with that. A few dogs will be let loose when that happens!  “Anna! Done with your porridge? We need to hurry my love!” Okay, let the school race begin!

Okay so now we’re in the car and guess what! It doesn’t want to start. Why god! Oh why? It just occurred to me that every time I have those memories of 1976, something goes wrong during the rest of my day. Can someone say conspiracy?  Anyway looks like my baby has to go with the neighbors. I turn around and there’s Annabelle in the back seat with the sulkiest face ever! “But mum I don’t like those people, they’re dirty” Oh Anna! You really need to learn how to adapt to situations. “Mum, what does adapt mean?” No time now Anna, let’s go over to the Andersons before they leave! I have to say motherhood is no easy walk in the park!

Okay, so I arranged with the Andersons to take Anna to school. She will be just fine! Now I have to get to the washing.  Thankfully, I don’t have to work but being a mother and a wife is a full time job anyway. So let me get Ricky from the car and head back to the house. Come on Ricky! I open the car door and Ricky is not there! Ricky? Ricky? Come out! This really isn’t funny! My heart started pounding, my mouth went dry, and I couldn’t feel my hands or legs. Where is my baby? I searched the car, I searched the yard, all around the gum trees. No sign of my Ricky. I went inside, no sign of him in the kitchen. I ran to the living room, not a soul in there, ran upstairs to all 3 bedrooms, no sight of my Ricky. I didn’t know what to do. Where do I go? Who do I call? In my state of mind, I didn’t even think of calling the police, I couldn’t do anything at all. I felt helpless and then suddenly everything went black……..

I woke up to see myself surrounded by people, most, familiar faces of my neighbors, others I don’t even know, possibly new residents in our area. Hey Emily! How do you feel? , said the paramedic who was now checking my blood pressure with this hideous looking instrument. I realized I had collapsed from the shock I was in. I started screaming like a mad woman, where is Ricky? Have you seen him? Someone please phone the police! Words cannot explain what I was feeling. All kind of thoughts rushed into my head. Did someone kidnap him? Did he run off somewhere? Did a wild animal eat him? I couldn’t shut out all of these thoughts. Someone had already called the police and they had just pulled into the driveway.

A Police Officer came to take down information from me. He looked familiar but I couldn’t remember where I had seen him before. As he came closer I felt a chill down my spine. I couldn’t help but feel uneasy around him. He had a face that could tell some good stories, it had to, or what other uses would the deep scars have? “Good day mam, I’m Officer Derek Stuart. I understand that you are missing a child, could you tell me more about what happened?”  His voice was deep and gruff, the kind of voice that made you feel afraid to even breathe.  I wasn’t usually like this around people but I thought that it was probably the situation I was in that made this behavior appear. Despite these feelings, the only thing I wanted right now was to hold Ricky in my arms and never let him go, ever!

It had been 2 and half hours since the officer left, I hadn’t heard anything since then. My neighbors left and assured me that they would be there if I needed anything and that I shouldn’t worry about preparing supper as they would sort it out. I loved how people came together in times of crisis, it’s like nothing else exists but the crisis and everyone is willing to lend a helping hand.  Daniel had come home. I expected him to be in devastation but to my surprise he was being very supportive and brave. I knew he was doing this for me. I was the weak one, the emotional wreck! How could I not be? I’m here in the warmth and safety of my home and Ricky is somewhere out there, I don’t’ even know if he is safe, if he’s hungry, I feel helpless. All I can do now is have faith in the Brittsburgh Police Force. I’ve never felt this way before, never felt so lost and alone since….since 1976

Daniel and I sat on the couch, both of us drowning in helplessness. He put his arm around me and pulled me close and I just started to cry. He told me to go and have a nap and he would be here to receive Anna from school and see to anyone else that came by. Dan and I had been through a lot in our marriage, even thought of separating at one stage and then I discovered that there was a little Annabelle growing inside of me, she truly changed everything in my life, my little piece of heaven. I agreed to have a nap but I told Dan to wake me up as soon as Anna arrived I didn’t even know how I was going to explain what happened to her dear brother.

Stepping into my room, I felt emptiness, incomplete. I entered my bed and just lay there under my crimson blanket. I looked at a frame of Ricky and decided to pray to god to keep my dear boy safe. I believed in God, not religion, just god. I slowly felt myself slipping away from reality, I was falling asleep, deeper and deeper every minute. I start to dream, this dream feels familiar, what’s going on? I begin to see a lake, its dark and the air feels thick and musty, I’m sitting in the boat surrounded by water. Not even the stars are shining on this night. I’m all alone in this boat. Oh no! I know where I am! This is 1976 all over again! What am I doing here? Wake up! Wake up Emily! I’m still here. Why can’t I wake up?  Someone please help me! I hear a familiar sound, its laughter coming from the other side of the lake. I look over, can’t quite see who it is. It’s a small figure running amongst the trees, I can see that it’s a little child. What is a little child doing in the forest at this time of night? Wait! I know that laughter, its Ricky! I scream and try to get his attention but he isn’t listening, it’s like he is ignoring me! Why won’t he look at me? I think of getting out of the boat and swimming to him but then I realize I can’t swim and I’m much too far in. The water is black, and I don’t want to even think about what’s lurking at the bottom. I see a house light turned on and two figures walking outside. Hold on, this is the house where I grew up, those are my parents. “Mum! Dad! I’m over here!” They completely ignore me and walk towards Ricky, they look exactly the way I remember them! Mum with her black curly hair and striking pink lips, dad with his baseball cap and hands in his pocket. Mum grabs Ricky’s hand and they start to walk away deeper into the forest. “Mum, come back! Where are you taking him? Bring him back” Mum turns around and says, “It’s time for him to come with us now, you had your chance, and you failed.” What? What was she talking about? I try to move but I can’t I’m stuck.

I feel like I’m being shaken against my will, and then all of a sudden I’m in darkness, I feel like I’m falling. “Emily! Emily wake up!” I wake up to see Dan in front of me. “Emily, I think you were having a nightmare, just relax, I’ll go make you a cup of tea, and it’s almost time for Anna to get home.” I sit straight up in me bed. I don’t get it. It was a dream but felt so real. Where were my parents taking Ricky? My parents had both passed on in a car accident about 10 years ago. I never really spoke to them after I ran off with Daniel. When Anna was born, they accepted Daniel in my life but even then I couldn’t make up for lost time. We just didn’t have the relationship that most parents and children had. They’re long gone so they couldn’t possibly be taking Ricky anywhere…..unless. Just then the telephone rings I rush downstairs, Dan answers the telephone, “Hello Officer, have you got any news for us?” I look at Dan, trying to interpret the expression on his face. He looks at me with intensity and say’s its over! It’s all over!

Author's Note

Please be honest in your reviews, I really want my writing to be critiqued honestly and I respect that every person is entitled to their opinions so fell free.....

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I think it was great, i just wish it didn't have to stop didn't end like that.
You should continue it make it into a novel its not meant to be a short story in my opinion.
I think it was very creative makes you wan t to keep reading find out what happens.
The ending defiantly makes me want to read on and that's what a good novel does it keeps you hooked.
Well written :)
'

[Vee]

Thank you! I think I will continue it and post chapters up. Really busy at work, havent had time to chat. Hope you're well. I promise to review more of your writing

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your always welcome. I cant wait for more i really liked it.
thanks whenever you have time dont rush :)

[Marie]

I don't know what Avinash meant. But I think I understnd the story. A story doesn't have to be personal or connected to you in any way, despite what people think. I find nothing wrong with it.

[Vee]

Thank you :-)

[Vee]

Its not meant to be about me, its just fictional. I haven't connected it to any of my feelings or experiences. Thanks for reading it :-)

[Avinash]

This piece tries to capture a story or an incident which deeply affected you. But it refuses to part ways from indulgence and makes it difficult to connect for others.

[Vee]

sorry, I meant feel free....